10 Reasons Why Internet Lists Suck (A Rant)
Every day that goes by, the internet devolves more and more into a cesspool of spurious information filtered through various website’s political agendas and their insatiable appetite for traffic to where now any kernel of truth, knowledge, or wisdom is whittled down to an almost imperceptible spec buried beneath layers and layers of pop science, slanted viewpoints, and political/cultural snark. Meanwhile true journalism and quality writing wither on the vine as readers turn to media not to truly garner information, but to have their political, religious, and cultural beliefs validated by websites whose names sound just enough like a real news source to have them be deemed legitimate by their sycophantical readers.
Bad enough are these anecdotal local stories about some miscreant doing something stupid that then turn super viral after every shocked and appalled Tom, Dick, and Harry takes to their Facebook feed to declare the wayward trajectory of humanity has reached its apex. Yes, the 60 million people killed in World War 2 doesn’t come close in shock value to some story about a meth head in Osh Kosh that shoved a firecracker up his dog’s asshole. WHAT’S THIS WORLD COMING TO!?!? Years ago these stories would have never made it beyond a local rag’s police blotter. Now they define our lives, helped along by Facebook that emphasizes the sensational by sending it to the top of our news feeds in their indolent and self-serving algorithm.
But worst of all might be these idiotic internet lists that are quickly becoming the average American’s primary interfacing with news and information. Their gross oversimplifications and pop approach to information dissemination are making a mockery of true, heartfelt, and in-depth coverage of any given subject that legitimately matters to our lives. True, at times the list format can have its advantages by drawing together similarities or simplifying information for busy readers. But it has nearly come to a point where lists make up the majority of the internet’s original readable content in a given day. They prey on the inherent laziness of humans and have become the internet’s go-to timekill and workday distraction, instead of trying to expand the mind and feed curiosity through healthy, organic content not confined by picture galleries or bullet points.
The titles of these lists are crammed with buzzwords to make you think they will convey entertainment or information that will improve your life, but in fact most of the time they simply regurgitate material in such a simplistic manner that any true holistic or helpful information has been left on the cutting house floor. And since the point of reading many lists is the opportunity to turn your brain off, any value that might be incidentally conveyed through a certain list doesn’t stick.
Don’t get me wrong, this website has engaged in this list-building practice like many others because as someone in the attention-grabbing business, you feel pressure to keep up with the Joneses, and sometimes the practice is useful. But list mania has reached critical mass, and now feels like it is heralding the onset of idiocracy.
….Oh wait, so you actually came here to see a list of the 10 reasons why internet lists suck?
Well tough shit, you’ll have to wait until Buzzfeed makes one.
August 15, 2013 @ 9:10 am
Touche!
Add on the inane commenters who promote political views and you just about covered it!
Whoo-hoo! First commenter!!! Obama-care sucks!!!!!!
July 27, 2015 @ 6:15 pm
I have to admit that I laughed way too hard at this self-deprecating comment.
I’m also very glad to find that this rant was NOT in the form of a Top-Ten list.
August 15, 2013 @ 9:18 am
Does somebody need a hug?
August 15, 2013 @ 9:55 am
…And I think that’s why Bezos bought the Washington Post – to save us from the listicle culture of the internet.
August 15, 2013 @ 11:34 am
Tell us how you really feel!
August 15, 2013 @ 1:30 pm
It’s pretty much all about getting those web hits, especially lists that make you go through multiple pages (ugh). Plus, for the reader, I imagine they can be fun to argue over (“How could you forget ___?” “___ has no business being on there!” “___ should be ranked higher/lower,” etc.), and I know clicking through one eye-grabbing headline after another can get addictive.
Ultimately, though, they just seem like a waste of time (for both the writers and the readers) and bandwidth; even on entertainment topics, let alone political/news ones, it would nice to see more pieces of substantial, fact-based analysis and discussion.
August 15, 2013 @ 4:57 pm
Typo “quality writing whiter on the vine”
August 16, 2013 @ 5:15 pm
It’s too late Trigger, the “idiocracy” is already here and growing larger every day. The primary causes are smartphones, Facebook, Twitter, public schools, the mainstream media in all it’s facets, and 99% of colleges. The admittedly questionable results of the last presidential election prove the “idiocracy” is now the voting majority of the US population with modern technology allowing it to expand at an ever increasing pace.
The closest I get to that piffel is what’s left of “The Boot” blog. Thankfully news websites like World Net Daily, and Breitbart often contain articles written by staffers worth truly pondering as they still seek after objective truth. On the liberal side it’s pretty much all leftist slanted garbage…
August 16, 2013 @ 5:31 pm
“Meanwhile true journalism and quality writing wither on the vine as readers turn to media not to truly garner information, but to have their political, religious, and cultural beliefs validated by websites whose names sound just enough like a real news source to have them be deemed legitimate by their sycophantical readers.”
Case in point:
“Thankfully news websites like World Net Daily, and Breitbart often contain articles written by staffers worth truly pondering as they still seek after objective truth. On the liberal side it”™s pretty much all leftist slanted garbage”¦ “
August 17, 2013 @ 7:05 pm
myspace…go for the music
August 23, 2013 @ 9:59 pm
10. Many of them are just the opinions of bloviators.
Well… ummm. that about sums it up.
Goodnight everybody!
(Couldn’t help it Trig.)