50 Years Ago: Merle Haggard’s Unrequited Love for Dolly Parton Inspires Iconic Song
There are many legendary country songs, and there are many legendary country music performers. But there are few if any other songs in the history of country music that capture the intimate feelings one country legend had for another like Merle Haggard’s “Always Wanting You,” recorded 50 years ago today, November 26th, 1974.
Though Dolly Parton’s career might be more synonymous with her first boss Porter Wagoner, or her most legendary duet partner Kenny Rogers, for the better part of 1974 and 1975, it was Merle Haggard whose career was entwined with Dolly’s, and in more ways than one. Merle Haggard heard Dolly Parton’s song “Kentucky Gambler” about a miner who abandons his family to go gambling in Reno, and decided he needed to record it. It became a #1 for Haggard in 1974, and Dolly’s first #1 as a songwriter for someone else.
Incidentally, the Dolly Parton album that “Kentucky Gambler” appeared on called The Bargain Store also had the Merle Haggard song on it, “You’ll Always Be Special To Me.” Haggard would also later cover Dolly Parton’s song “The Seeker.” Merle and Dolly had quite a back and forth song swap going on for a while that became quite lucrative for both of the Hall of Famers.
In the mid 1970s, Merle Haggard was enjoying his heyday in country music. Most any single he chose to release was going #1, and he was one of country music’s biggest draws on the road. Meanwhile Dolly Parton had just left Porter Wagoner to start a career of her own, and opening for Merle Haggard in concert seemed like the perfect way to help get her solo career off to a big start. So already familiar from their song collaborations, the two became a touring package too.
As a touring duo, Merle and Dolly hit it off almost immediately, and when their buses would caravan to shows, Dolly often rode on Merle’s bus, or Merle would ride on Dolly’s. Many hours were spent between the two discussing the country music business and life. And as you can imagine if you’ve ever seen a photo of Dolly Parton from the mid ’70s, Merle Haggard started catching feelings.
Dolly was of course married at the time to her long-time husband Carl Dean, and Merle was married to singer and performer Bonnie Owens, formerly the wife of Buck Owens. Dolly Parton was always loyal to Carl Dean, and never let temptation creep into her heart. Merle Haggard was not quite as strong.
As time went on, Merle Haggard fell deeply in love with Dolly. And though Merle tried to hide his feelings initially, he ultimately professed how he felt to Dolly, and likely made a pass or two. But Dolly always declined, though in a way that didn’t push Merle too far away. Always the savvy businesswoman, Dolly knew getting Haggard on her bad side would not be good for her career.
It’s also fair to point out that at the time, Merle Haggard was Dolly’s senior by about 9 years, was basically her boss as the touring headliner, while Merle was also actively married. It wasn’t the best moment in Merle Haggard’s career. Combine this with the possessive nature of Porter Wagoner, and you know why Dolly’s career was forged in the fire of older men in country trying to get something from her.
Eventually, Dolly Parton became all Merle Haggard could think of. Day and night, he was obsessed with her. So what did Merle Haggard do with his unrequited love? He did what country artists do with a yearning heart: he put his emotions to music.
Merle Haggard didn’t name Dolly Parton in “Always Wanting You,” but the writing and details were 100% accurate to his state of mind. When Haggard released the song as a single on February 3rd, 1975, many of Merle and Dolly’s fellow performers had their suspicions about the song’s inspiration, and so did the public. The rumors probably didn’t hurt the popularity of the song, and soon the deeper story about what inspired Merle Haggard to write “Always Wanting You” was the worst kept secret in country music.
As time went on and especially after Merle Haggard’s divorce from Bonnie Owens in 1978, the story of “Always Wanting You” became a topic in interviews with Merle, and with Dolly. Merle eventually was forthright about the matter, and Dolly—always judicious— would simply say that Haggard was a “special friend,” and that she felt it was very sweet of him to tell her that he cared that much.
Eventually, in Merle Haggard’s autobiography Sing Me Back Home: My Own Story, he revealed that after writing “Always Wanting You” while in Reno, he called Dolly Parton on the phone at 3 am and sang the song to her, hoping it would impress her enough that she would finally give in. Once again, Dolly denied Merle’s advances.
Perhaps ironically, writing and releasing “Always Wanting You” was what finally allowed Merle to let his feelings for Dolly go. And just as ironic, it all happened in Reno, just like the story in the song “Kentucky Gambler,” written by Dolly, and recorded by Merle that went #1. Merle would later say that recording “Kentucky Gambler” was the moment he first realized that he loved Dolly. Merle took a real life gamble in Reno, and lost.
“Always Wanting You” wasn’t just a #1 song. It was a moment in time in country music history set to song chronicling Merle’s turmoil and torment trying to deal with his true feelings for Dolly.
The two remained friends throughout the years, and when Merle Haggard died in 2016, Dolly said, “We’ve lost one of the greatest writers and singers of all time. His heart was as tender as his love ballads. I loved him like a brother. Rest easy, Merle.”
November 26, 2024 @ 12:52 pm
Merle’s version of dollys well written “in the good ole days (when times were bad) is one of my favorites.
November 26, 2024 @ 4:56 pm
Was Bonnie Owens still touring with Merle in the early aughts? I seem to remember people around me saying his ex-wife was in the band when I saw him play in that era. Hard to remember because the 70s and all of that were before my time.
November 26, 2024 @ 5:21 pm
I’m not sure about the early oughts, but even after they divorced, Bonnie did tour with Merle and they remained close.
You want to talk about someone who put up with all kinds of bloody hell from numerous country music dudes, it was Bonnie. She deserves sainthood for what she did for both Merle and Buck.
November 26, 2024 @ 7:22 pm
God Bless you Trig, for this sentiment.
November 26, 2024 @ 10:55 pm
I saw Hag in concert in the 1990s in New York. One of the iconic looks of country music is duet or harmonizing singers sharing a mike and getting so close that they could almost kiss. (See Buck Owens and Don Rich, or Travis Tritt and Marty Stuart, going for a retro look in “The Whiskey Ain’t Working.) Merle would stand on the opposite end of the stage from Bonnie Owens when they harmonized, each singing into their own mike. At one point, after the song was done and while the audience was applauding, she approached him, smiling, and he turned his back to her and walked away.
Here’s a video of Merle in Anaheim (in good voice) showing his typical warmth toward Bonnie.
(Maybe the bigger problem is that part of the stadium looks like it’s fixing to collapse, under the weight of some dancing spectators., which Bonnie notices and points out to the guitar player.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KITZHP60IWw
November 28, 2024 @ 4:42 pm
Merle and Bonnie seldom shared the same microphone onstage. Bonnie usually stood off to the side to sing the back-up vocals with two members of The Strangers band.
I would not draw any conclusion from that long-standing onstage configuration. They did it that way for many years dating back to the late 1960’s.
November 28, 2024 @ 10:23 pm
It’s not just the mike. It’s the fact that Bonnie would alwayssmile and try to make nice and Merle was dour and would completely ignore her. I noticed it myself at a concert and it’s consistent with the video that I happened to find on Youtube. (Though that video is more noteworthy for the fact that the mangagement of the Anaheim stadium thought that posting a “Please don’t dance” notice on the scoreboard absolved them of responsibility for a potential imminent collapse of a section of the stands.)
November 29, 2024 @ 7:37 am
Merle was a notoriously moody individual. He also had a mid-life crisis of epic proportions. During that era of his life he grew even more sullen and restless. Merle referenced that mostly unhappy portion of his life in his later books.
After his early career years (1960’s to early 70’s) Merle’s stage show changed dramatically. The usually upbeat Merle that joked around and did impressions of other singers was replaced by a rather subdued man that mostly just sang his songs. I attended numerous Haggard concerts during that later era and during some shows he barely acknowledged the audience. Onstage Merle sometimes had very little interaction with Bonnie or the other musicians in his Strangers band. Unfortunately drugs and/or alcohol often exacerbated his onstage demeanor making him even more withdrawn.
The perception that Merle was ignoring anyone gleaned from just one video may not be accurate. Merle was a complex and often introverted man. Hard to know what he may have been thinking in any single moment.
November 28, 2024 @ 12:44 am
It was 2002, when I hung out with Merle Haggard, Chester Smith, Bonnie Owens and some others in Turlock, CA before the concert at California State University Stanislaus. Owens sang with Hag at that concert.
During the concert when Hag sang the line in, “My Favorite Memory of all” that goes, “…the night we made love in the hallway, slept all night long on the floor…” he glanced towards Owens and she said, “Wasn’t me!” and chuckled. Everyone laughed! Bonnie Owens is one of the nicest, sweetest ladies I’ve ever had the privilege to meet.
November 29, 2024 @ 7:11 am
She was with him when he was in Rome, GA. But Bonnie, I think, had some dementia. She was wandering around and my mother and I had some time with her and made a picture with her. Someone came and got her after a bit but she was precious and very sweet. She did sing with Merle that time.
November 26, 2024 @ 5:22 pm
Sure sounds like Bonnie singing background on this song. That’s ironic.
November 26, 2024 @ 5:37 pm
It’s actually Louise Mandrell. It’s one of the few songs she sang with Merle. Bonnie sang most of his female harmonies in the day. It’s another interesting tidbit about the song. Just didn’t know how to fit it in the article.
November 26, 2024 @ 7:21 pm
Have always thought Louise Mandrell was pure class.
November 26, 2024 @ 5:35 pm
Merle was one of the greatest songs writers and singers. I wish country music could be like that again
November 26, 2024 @ 6:01 pm
A sad, sad day when “The Hag” left us.
Same thing goes for “The Possum”.
November 26, 2024 @ 6:28 pm
That’s always been one of my favorite Merle Haggard songs.
Hag also did a great version of Dolly’s ”In the Good Old Days (When Times Were Bad)” a few years before that.
November 26, 2024 @ 7:46 pm
Great story and ty so mu h for including the song so we could listen. So many writers don’t. Thanks for helping us remembering and learning more about Merle
November 26, 2024 @ 8:11 pm
I have always felt that Dolly wore the things she did with her inflated boob’s to entice men. How could she not know the effects is has had and continues to have on a man? She probably has a 1,000 men in love with those fake boob’s and blond wigs. That is just the way I feel. Biblically that is wrong.
November 26, 2024 @ 9:55 pm
Judgemental much?
November 27, 2024 @ 1:47 pm
This is clearly a parody of some sort.
November 27, 2024 @ 3:49 pm
Biblically wrong, just like JUDGING someone? Thrown any stones yet?
November 30, 2024 @ 7:14 am
You examination of Scripture is popular but incorrect. The Bible is filled with admonitions to judge, and instruction on how to properly judge. Judging is simply assessing whether things are correct or not in the eyes of God, using his own Word as the basis.
In fact, much of the confusion would be cleared up if people would simply keep reading Matthew 7 instead of cutting it off after the first verse:
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”
Many, many more verses instruct how to make proper judgements.
Saying judging is wrong is itself a judgement. We make judgements every day and it’s right and proper to do so.
November 27, 2024 @ 8:57 pm
Amen Sally.
I appreciate you having the courage to address where our sister in Christ (Ms. Parton) is in error with modesty.
November 26, 2024 @ 9:35 pm
It’s funny, years ago,it looked like Dolly was testing how far she could go in coming out. She had a husband whom she was never seen with–She said he hated show business. She gave interviews where she spoke about how popular she is among gays and that she loves all her gay fans. And that she travels with her childhood friend Judy, who’s the one person she could spend all her time with.
Dolly wrote an autobiography in the ’90s. .She wrote about how she and Judy leave hotel maids wondering about why they’ve used only one bed. She said they’re not lovers–It’s just convenient to share a bed. I thought Dolly was trolling us at that point–though the word “trolling” had not yet been invented in that context. (This is all stuff that Dolly used to volunteer and talk about in public. I’m not trying to spread rumors.)
I suspect that any supposed romance between Dolly and Haggard was as real as when she was ogling and near groping Billy Ray Cyrus, during his brief heyday in the ’90s, in a song and video called “Romeo.”
November 27, 2024 @ 1:48 pm
Another parody comment
November 26, 2024 @ 10:39 pm
Great article. I had no idea she wrote Kentucky Gambler.
November 27, 2024 @ 3:38 am
A great artiste The Hag. Saw him in London at the Wembley festivals & in Nashville during the 90’s. He was a ladies man & no different to any red blooded individual. He will always be remembered for his talents & live forever in his music. Dolly is the same. Stories like his enhance the life he lived & he is a hero to many. RIP. Hag.
November 27, 2024 @ 4:32 am
YOUR THE MAN..You always have the coolest stories. I never knew this but always wondered because of the music for the astronauts. I cant think of the name of the song. But the way he talks to Dolly on this recording you can hear it in his voice. HAPPY THANKSGIVING my friend.
November 27, 2024 @ 7:34 am
Great article. Never knew this about Merle and Dotty. Love this song as well as Kentucky Gambler
November 27, 2024 @ 3:57 pm
Honest song. When written from the heart songs do well. Merle greatest country music si ger and writer
November 27, 2024 @ 12:51 pm
Louise Mandrell was touring with Merle Haggard at the time, and she sings on “Always Wanting You, ” with Ronnie Reno.
November 27, 2024 @ 4:42 pm
I saw him in San Diego. A sweet guy that I worked with bought tickets and ask me to go. Since I’m from Texas he thought he’d impress me. I didn’t know who Merle was but I fell in love that night..
November 27, 2024 @ 6:57 pm
For the record, 50 years ago there was no social media. The fact that Merle wrote “Always Wanting You” about Dolly was not common knowledge at that time Although it was whispered about within the music industry, most fans were not aware of it. I played the song on the radio when it was a new record and can tell you that it was regarded as just another great Merle Haggard ballad. The song dealt with a universal topic that any man or woman could relate to and became one of Merle’s most beloved songs of that era.
Merle’s desire for Dolly became widely known when he ‘fessed up to it in his 1981 autobiography Sing Me Back Home written with Peggy Russell. Merle related the story of how he called Dolly in the middle of the night to sing her the song he’d just written for her. Alone in his hotel room Merle admitted that he was “smoking weed” while he composed the tune. The song was “Always Wanting You” and Merle felt rejected when the song did not achieve the desired effect. Dolly again told him that a romance with her was not possible and eventually hung up on him.
Though he continued to pine for Dolly, Merle eventually realized that there was no future with her and moved on. Shortly afterwards Merle met another singer that would become his third wife, Leona Williams.
November 28, 2024 @ 1:22 pm
This morning I pulled my copy of Merle’s “Sing Me Back Home” book down from my shelf and was reminded that Dolly wrote an endorsement that was printed on the back of the dust cover. You may find her comments interesting:
“I didn’t know whether to be embarrassed or flattered when I read the chapter about me in Merle Haggard’s book, Sing Me Back Home. I had no idea his feelings for me were as deep and true as he said. Well, if so, it’s only fair since I had admired him for so long, if I had been a single woman and he a single man at the time we met, who knows what kind of trouble we would have wound up in? Maybe another Bonnie and Clyde. I can honestly say his book is one of the best I have read” – Dolly Parton
Two takeaways from her statement:
1) Since her early days in Nashville Dolly was propositioned countless times by other singers & music industry execs. She may well have believed that Merle’s overtures were just another effort to bed her rather than to have a truly romantic relationship. Of course Merle was used to getting what he wanted regarding women so Dolly’s lack of interest probably made him desire her even more.
2) Dolly’s reference to Bonnie & Clyde was not random. She likely knew that Merle was obsessed with that movie to the extent that when it was first released he went to see it multiple times. That film served as inspiration for his 1968 #1 hit song “The Legend Of Bonnie And Clyde.” Dolly knew that Merle would surely appreciate the comparison.
November 28, 2024 @ 11:10 am
What a great read. I didn’t know the extent of this. I do recall Merle also admitting to having a crush on Loretta Lynn in the 70s.
November 29, 2024 @ 1:49 am
Yes, Merle and probably 95% of the other males in the industry back then…
November 29, 2024 @ 3:35 am
Whatever wrongs Merle did toward his women (and he surely did), he paid for in his final marriage with the horrible Theresa.
November 30, 2024 @ 2:39 am
Didn’t know of the Dolly Parton-Merle Haggard tie-in (but perhaps should have),but “the Hag’s” “Always Wanting You” is indeed a Country standard.
December 1, 2024 @ 6:54 pm
In “HAG” the most recent and “definitive” biography on Merle’s life and music
It talks about them going on tour together and it was a monster success but was very short lived. Even cancelled before it could really take off because Merle had become slightly obsessive and was being really persistent about his feelings. She loved Merle and they got along but never had any intention or desire to be with him so she left the tour. This was also after him and Bonnie had seoerated (unsure if divorced officially yet, but she was the acting parent to his children.)