BREAKING: Country Artist Decides to NOT Make a Christmas Album This Year
The Nashville country music community is reeling after the news that one of its own is refusing to make a Christmas album this year despite the blatantly obvious and universally-recognized obligation for anyone and everyone with a record deal and a decently-sized audience to record one this season.
As soon as the news was confirmed that Aaron Flashdace—a middling major label artist who is currently working on an EP and co-writing with Ross Copperman—had no intention of releasing a Christmas record in 2016, speculation immediately ran rampant up and down Music Row as to the motivations for taking such an egregious and defiant action.
Aaron Flashdance emerged from his condo in west Nashville Thursday morning in a robe and slippers to check his mail, slurping at a half eaten-bowl of Lucky Charms, when a throng of reporters descended on him, pilfering the up-and-coming performer with pointed questions. Did he hate Christmas, Jesus, or just America? Was he an atheist or a Muslim? Or did he not understand his duty as a country music artist to make a Christmas record this year like everyone else?
Looking sideways and clearly confused while finishing off a bite of cereal, stupefied by all the attention his ambivalence to Christmas music had brought him, Flashdace stated, “I don’t know. I guess I just didn’t want to, or it never really occurred to me to make a Christmas record.”
“But you’re a country music artist,” one reported retorted, making the obvious point that it was Aaron Flashdance’s obligation to acquiesce to country’s latest copycat trend of celebrating Christmas with superfluous recordings of worn-out Christmas standards.
Brett Eldredge, Rascal Flatts, Kenny Chesney, Jennifer Nettles, Kacey Musgraves, Reba McEntire, Garth Brooks, Trisha Yearwood, Chris Young, The Oak Ridge Boys, and Loretta Lynn are just some of the scores of country music names who’ve already confirmed their Christmas albums for 2016, and it’s not even October. More are on the way, with the only other artist aside from Aaron Flashdance to officially bow out of the Christmas record craze at this point being Kenny Rogers who released a Christmas record last year, and is retiring.
“Clearly Aaron Flashdance has no clue that he’s just torpedoed his entire career,” says country music industry analyst, piano tuner, and pet psychologist Eidelman Frankenfurter. “He just Dixie Chick’d himself basically. The best he can hope for now in his career is an audition spot on ‘The Voice,’ or work as a backup dancer for Kelsea Ballerini.”
Kenny Rogers’ drunk Christmas beard could not be reached for comment.
September 29, 2016 @ 7:51 am
Interesting to note that Hank Williams and to be fair, most of his contemporaries never bothered recording any Christmas songs. When did it actually start?
October 10, 2016 @ 9:47 pm
Ernest Tubb released a version of White Christmas in 1949. And I’m sure there were earlier country Christmas songs but that’s one I know for sure.
September 29, 2016 @ 7:53 am
Curious-was the list of people working on Christmas albums the one serious part of this post, or was it all a joke? Cause I could see that part going either way.
September 29, 2016 @ 8:15 am
Brett Eldredge, Rascal Flatts, Kenny Chesney, Jennifer Nettles, Kacey Musgraves, Reba McEntire, Garth Brooks, Trisha Yearwood, Chris Young, The Oak Ridge Boys, and Loretta Lynn are all confirmed to be releasing Christmas albums this year. We can only assume there are more to come since it’s not yet October.
September 29, 2016 @ 8:53 am
Kenny Chesney is releasing his record Oct 28. It is not a Christmas album, although the timing and title, Cosmic Hallelujah, could easily lead one to think that.
September 29, 2016 @ 10:15 am
That title, alone, makes me not want to even THINK of buying that album. Not that I’ve bought any of his albums retail, anyway…the ones I do have, I bought at a thrift store. At least if I don’t like them, I’m only out a buck or two. Luckily I do like them…they are his early CD’s…nothing recent.
September 29, 2016 @ 3:13 pm
I’m kinda disappointed that Trisha’s doing another one — I thought she already did a darn-near perfect job the first time (with 1994’s ‘The Sweetest Gift’)… unless the new one is supposed to be something totally different like a duets album or a collaboration with Garth (in which case, please, no “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”! :p ).
September 29, 2016 @ 3:30 pm
I agree. Reba’s “Merry Christmas to You” is a great holiday album as well. The track “The Christmas Guest” (although it’s spoken rather than sung) sends chills up my spine.
September 29, 2016 @ 12:35 pm
Yelawolf also has a new country album due – Whiskey in my stocking. It’s Christmas Bitches.
September 29, 2016 @ 8:02 am
Why the hell does it matter if you make a Christmas album or not? Making a fuss over any of this is pointless; if you don’t want to make a goddamn album, then it shouldn’t matter, since we already have dozens of other artists doing it.
September 29, 2016 @ 8:04 am
I’m actually looking forward to the Musgraves Christmas album.
September 29, 2016 @ 12:36 pm
Same
September 29, 2016 @ 5:09 pm
It was kinda funny when Kacey was talking about her Christmas album in 95 plus degree scorching heat at Pilgrimage as sweat poured from the audience.
September 29, 2016 @ 8:05 am
LOL! Such a travesty, refusing to do a cover of Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer!
September 29, 2016 @ 8:10 am
*snickers* I would probably listen to a Musgraves Christmas album…..maybe she can sing “oh holy night” with EC and my country music fantasy of a Musgraves/Church recording will finally come true….hahaha, but seriously, I’m only half kidding…..
September 29, 2016 @ 8:14 am
I’m not much on full-blown Christmas albums, but I’m looking forward to the Kacey Musgraves album. She is my favorite artist and I’m interested to see the direction she will take with it.
September 29, 2016 @ 8:29 am
What’s the point of everybody making a Christmas album? With so many different Christmas albums by so many different people, it’s not like anybody will actually buy them. When one or two artists make Christmas albums, sure, they’ll be bought, but 10? Nobody cares. All that competition means all those artists and their little helpers will barely make any money out of it. It’s a bad business decision.
September 29, 2016 @ 8:33 am
Being a new Country music fan (yes, it happens…) I was really surprised at how many Christmas albums Country artists put out.
Is this the norm, or is this a special year?
In many other music genre, an artist that launch a Christmas album is considered a has-been or well in his/her way to get there. So imagine my surprise…
September 29, 2016 @ 9:04 am
To tell y’all the truth, had I have been in the music job and had success, yeah I’d make a Christmas album but it wouldn’t be your average Christmas album where it’s nothing but Carols. For the life of me, I cannot find the article, but I remember Trigger you posting one on the news feed about how virtually nobody is covering Frank Sinatra standards anymore (or The Great American Songbook) so I had this fantasy about creating a Christmas album that broke the rules on Christmas music.
Lucky for me as a consumer, I’ve made a vow to not only listen to Christmas music (or at least my preferred albums) and mix them with Jazz Standards.
October 11, 2016 @ 9:16 pm
I think Neil McCoy just put out an album of songs from the great American songbook.
September 29, 2016 @ 10:21 am
Trigger, you really need a “Delete” button! Let me try this again:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGJoPmGA5uc
September 29, 2016 @ 10:45 am
My sister-in-law works with the second cousin of Mr.Flashdance’s former high school sweetheart who confirmed what I suspected was the reasoning behind Mr. Flashdance’s ” poor business decision ‘ regarding the release of a Xmas record .He’s atheist .
September 29, 2016 @ 10:49 am
I’d find a conventional holiday album underwhelming, but if Musgraves produced some off-kilter selections (a la John Prine or Jill Sobule) I’d be on board. Haggard’s got the best Christmas song. As for holiday albums, no one rivals James Brown.
September 29, 2016 @ 12:01 pm
Showing my age here but I have said for years that all Christmas albums except those by Bing Crosby and Elvis should be banned! That is all the Christmas music needed by anyone.
Merry Christmas
September 29, 2016 @ 5:10 pm
I wonder if Elvis Christmas Album was the first of this genre in Country and started the trend which slowly went out of control, all in the interest of a quick buck.
October 10, 2016 @ 7:01 pm
Possibly the first 78 Christmas book might have been Bing Crosby. The most common heard version of White Christmas heard was recorded in 1947 after the master was lost or worn out from 1942. I can’t say if the set was released before or after the ban of 1948.
As a side note Gene Autry recorded Rudolph in summer 1949 while Margaret Whiting and Jimmy Wakely released Silver Bells in 1950 months before it was featured in The Lemon Drop Kid.
September 29, 2016 @ 4:14 pm
I’m a Ray Conniff Singers Christmas Album man myself.
September 29, 2016 @ 7:07 pm
I spin Bobby Bare’s “Christmas at the Jersey Lily Lounge” all season long!
September 29, 2016 @ 7:57 pm
Haha, that original Oak Ridge Boys Christmas album was on heavy holiday rotation in our house when I was a kid. “Jesus was born today . . born in a manger.”
September 30, 2016 @ 3:29 am
Rumored tracks on the Kacey Musgraves Chrsitmas Album include:
“Smoking Weed With Santa”
“It’s Christmastime And Men Still Suck”
“I Have Heard The Angels Get High”
“You Should Love Everyone At Christmas (Except For Christians)”
September 30, 2016 @ 7:20 am
Ha! This literally made me laugh out loud. I would love to hear these songs.
October 16, 2016 @ 4:35 am
Dying ?
September 30, 2016 @ 5:55 am
This is hysterical. I am looking forward to the album from Musgraves album though. Something about her singing Mele Kalikimaka has me very excited for Christmas. 🙂
September 30, 2016 @ 5:59 am
A-fuckin-MEN, Trig!
Christmas albums have filled the void left behind by the albums full of covers.
October 1, 2016 @ 11:12 pm
Mr. Flashdace’s answering machine picks up the following message:
Yes, Mr. Flashdace, this is Scott Borschetta. I called to let you you have been terminated from your contract with Big Machine Records. Thanks.
October 11, 2016 @ 12:10 am
Borschetta, pick up a phone? Surely you jest…
He would hire a process server to drop by and serve papers to notify the artist hes being sued for breach of the ” intergalactic overlord we own your life 360″ contract.
October 5, 2016 @ 8:28 am
The Brian Setzer Orchestra can do Christmas music all year round and I would cram it into my ears.
October 10, 2016 @ 6:39 pm
I saw Loretta’s album mentioned on the E T record shops page last week when I found that letter from David McCormick about media snubbing the E T store. Also a few weeks ago I heard about vinyl reissues of Glen Campbell and Merle Haggard.
October 10, 2016 @ 9:50 pm
Even Jimmy Buffett is getting in on it (he’s obviously not anymore, but his career started out country)
October 16, 2016 @ 4:36 am
This literally made my morning and I nearly spit out my coffee ???
October 16, 2016 @ 8:16 am
What would be even MORE shocking is if a “country music” singer decided not to do a “Support The Troops” album. That might make the Four Horsemen of The Apocalypse rise from the pits of Hell and destroy humanity!!
I think Trigger did this angle already, but I might be wrong.
October 31, 2016 @ 8:16 am
I found Loretta’s album at Walmart. Also heard Asleep at the Wheel has its 3rd Christmas album and for Bluegrass an album from Circa Blue.