Osama Bin Laden: “Taylor Swift’s ‘Mean’ Is About Me”
During yesterday’s raid of Osama Bin Laden’s compound, numerous documents, computers, hard drives, etc. were confiscated from Bin Laden’s personal quarters. Slowly, US intelligence officials are sifting through the new data looking for leads about what is left of Al Queda’s command and control structure. During the process, the CIA discovered one very curious bit of information that it leaked exclusively to Saving Country Music: that Osama Bin Laden believed American pop country star Taylor Swift’s recent country hit “Mean”, which has caused months of speculation of who it is about, was indeed about him.
Bin Laden made the claims to a local Pakistani cultural writer who had been studying the effects of Western music on the local Pakistani nightlife. The CIA obtained a correspondence between Bin Laden and this reporter, where he pleaded his case.
Of course it’s about me. Duh, It’s called “Mean” and I’m freaking Osama Bin Laden, leader of Al Queda. I’ve blown up buildings and shit, killed thousands of people. You can’t get any meaner than that!
Apparently Bin Laden was a big fan of American country music, and a staunch purist of the genre.
What, you think that Jamey Johnson and I have the same beard on accident? Gray highlights and all? Please. This pop country crap is infecting country music like infidels are infecting the Holy Land, and Taylor Swift is the worst! She’s got a voice only Allah could love. Somebody needs to take a burqa and shove it down her pie hole! I’d rather listen to a camel giving birth than that racket. Give me the good stuff, some old Waylon, or some Hank . . . one, two, or three!
And what’s up with these “New Outlaws”? Let me tell you, you’re no Outlaw until you’ve been eating rocks in Tora Bora as Uncle Sam lobs handfuls of bunker busting bombs at your ass like they’re Jolly Ranchers at a 4th of July parade. The worst thing to ever happen to Justin Moore and Eric Church is the shitter on their tour bus backing up. Greenhorns.
And Bin Laden had some opinions about the other potential candidates for the subject of “Mean.”
I have a lot of respect for Bob Lefsetz. Really, I do. I’ve subscribed to his Lefsetz Letter for years, and even missed a dialysis session right after 9/11 so I could make sure to secure the latest copy. But let’s face it, he’s the music equivalent of an ambulance chaser, and though he’s sneaky about it, he’s an attention whore. And as for The Triggerman? The dude is the biggest music elitist I’ve ever seen, and that means A LOT coming from me. That self-absorbed, arrogant prick only wishes “Mean” was about him to inflate his already bloated ego. But sorry “Trig”, the song is about me. I already confirmed it with Taylor. We’re friends on Facebook.
Jamey Johnson’s beard could not be reached for comment.
May 2, 2011 @ 12:26 am
i thought he would listen to the pop stuff…
May 2, 2011 @ 3:35 am
wonder how he feels about XXX
May 2, 2011 @ 5:52 am
Xsama Xin Xaden.
May 2, 2011 @ 6:59 am
I don’t know why but that makes me laugh.
May 2, 2011 @ 5:35 am
I just heard Bin Laden has been killed.
May 2, 2011 @ 6:26 am
Yeah he has, it’s a sad day for the mujahideen and for country music.
May 2, 2011 @ 7:12 am
Too funny, Triggerman. Thanks for the laugh!
May 2, 2011 @ 7:20 am
dont forget this!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WlnSaIwfEg
May 2, 2011 @ 9:10 am
Stop it! I can’t take that!
May 2, 2011 @ 10:47 am
um, never heard of those two before but listening to the minute of it, i’ll just say, refer to Dale Watson’s song
May 2, 2011 @ 7:55 am
I’ll probably cause a stir with this, but I’m willing to bet that Bin Laden was not killed last night, although he may indeed be dead. Why do I say this? Because the mansion where he was allegedly staying was burned to the ground, his “body” was buried at sea, the only image to be released has been revealed as a fake, and, most importantly, the Taliban has released a statement saying that he is still living.
May 3, 2011 @ 7:38 am
I’m waiting to see the body before I begin any celebration..
May 2, 2011 @ 10:04 am
Not a big Trace Adkins fan, but anyone else think “Welcome To Hell” should be playing all around the country, right now??
May 2, 2011 @ 11:32 am
“Joyfully celebrating the killing of a killer who joyfully celebrated killing carries an irony that I hope will not be lost on us. Are we learning anything, or simply spinning harder in the cycle of violence?” – Brian McLaren
Nothing has been bouncing around in my mind harder than this quote. Since I heard fireworks at midnight last night.
May 2, 2011 @ 12:54 pm
I can appreciate what you’re saying to an extent, but I also think that Osama bin Laden is a special case, given what he’s responsible for and how long he had escaped justice.
May 2, 2011 @ 1:25 pm
Is it a special case, though? His death comes after 1.2 million civilian casualties in the middle east. 1.2 million middle eastern civilians who did nothing to deserve death have died in this “war on terror”. Sons and daughter’s of American’s have been dying for the interests of an elite few who used lies to invade Afghanistan and Iraq. Osama Bin Laden was a monster, and I believe that he needed to be dealt with and punished, but it is completely brutish to grab your flag and march down the street screaming, “USA, USA”, over a mans death.
The best way I have seen as to how we should go about reacting to his death is this:
“Our reaction to the news last night should be the kind often exhibited by victims”™ families at a perpetrator”™s lethal injection — a reaction typically marked by both muted relief but also by sadness over the fact that the perpetrators”™ innocent victims are gone forever, the fact that the perpetrator’s death cannot change the past, and the fact that our world continues to produce such monstrous perpetrators in the first place.”
I’m sure I will be labeled as a naive hippy at some point today, but I just can’t get behind the orgasmic euphoria of my fellow countrymen over another man’s death.
May 2, 2011 @ 1:48 pm
Haha you are a fucking hippie we got this mother fucker a fucking men hoss I have been celebrating this since I first heard Geraldo say Osama is dead and just like the awesome song by Trace Adkins said welcome to hell mother fucker. He got a nice little 5.56 NATO FMG right in his face. I’m glad the brave boys of DEVGRU got to take him down and not a Predator he got to see his killers and then him and his coward son got sent to there judgement and found out no virgins for his ass just one angry god. It thrills me that right now he and his son are burning in hell USA God bless the boys in Afghanistan and Go bless the boys from DEVGRU and The 160th SOAR Night Stalkers who avenged the 3000 deaths of those 343 of my brothers in The FDNY, NYPD, and NY EMTs God bless America
May 2, 2011 @ 2:06 pm
What about the 1.2 million middle eastern civilians? Who is going to avenge them? America condemned the celebrations in the streets after 9/11 over in the middle east, but here we are 10 years later doing the same thing. You see nothing wrong with that?
I ask that you at least consider dropping the blind nationalism act and realize that we are all one. Over here is no different than over here, we are still talking about innocents dying. Just because someone was born somewhere else does not make their life worth any less than yours or mine.
Yes, the world is perhaps a safer place because Osama is dead, and for that we should be happy. But we should not be doing things like this:
http://www.pressherald.com/news/Graffiti-on-Portland-mosque-under-investigation.html
It’s disgusting.
May 2, 2011 @ 2:10 pm
What about em?? I could care less im happy a monster is done. I know who will try to avenge the muslim dead and thats the terrorist we can send them to hell to maybe now they will quit using IEDs and come out in the open to give our boys some clean shots at em the cowards cant handle the USMC so they hide in the mountains so dont start on me with your sympathetic bull shit i have family in the military so dont ever fucking go there
May 2, 2011 @ 2:15 pm
You, my friend, are a walking stereotype.
I suggest you watch this video, start at 1:47 if you don’t have the patience to watch the entire thing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jl2JQfxnnHU
May 2, 2011 @ 2:23 pm
Alright folks, we are way off topic! And please keep it respectful!
May 2, 2011 @ 7:51 pm
Really i watched your little video and let me tell you something hoss these boys aint talked into going into the corp or the army they do it for the money and for the love of there country and if you dont like the way we git er done then you sir can go live with your muslim buddys over there and get the hell outta america the greatest country in the world. And maybe i am a walking stereo type but im proud to be a redneck and proud to be southern and damn proud to be a american
May 2, 2011 @ 2:04 pm
I do not disagree with anything that you say above at all. I’m fresh from re-reading my copy of Andrew Bacevich’s Washington Rules, in which he discusses similar points that you make in your first paragraph. And his enlightenment started after he retired from the Army. I just think some of the celebration you describe was bound to happen, given who we’re talking about. He was reponsible for the most lethal foreign attack ever on American soil. And then there’s the indiscriminate nature of that attack. A monster, as you say, and someone who didn’t have anything positive to offer to the world. Quite frankly, I’m glad (or something like glad) that he’s gone. I have a problem with the USA, USA cheers, too . Not so much because it’s over this particular man’s death, as it’s impossible for me to have any compassion for him. This isn’t a sporting event, though. I do like the quote in your third paragraph. Much more appropriate.
May 2, 2011 @ 2:20 pm
Well said. Thanks for posting a well thought out response as opposed to posting a comment that could be summed up with, “America, Fuck yeah”.
May 2, 2011 @ 4:08 pm
My pleasure and I hear you.
May 2, 2011 @ 2:30 pm
Sorry, Trig. Although I think this was a good mature debate prior to Captain America posting his profanity laced childish rant.
May 2, 2011 @ 4:50 pm
Jacob, well well well. Who knew the boobie-staring host of Fear Factor was politically astute?!? I’m not touching this subject with a ten foot pole. However, I wondered if you had heard of John Pilger? He’s an ex-war correspondent that makes documentaries for the BBC. I thought you may find some of his thoughts interesting:
http://www.johnpilger.com/videos
May 2, 2011 @ 9:31 pm
Haha yeah Joe Rogan is a surprisingly intelligent guy. Thanks for John Pilger recommendation, can’t say I’ve heard of him. I just checked out a few of his video’s on that site and it seems like good stuff that I’ll definitely look deeper into. Thanks again, Carla.
May 2, 2011 @ 1:29 pm
Love the article Trig.
I’m just waiting to see a picture of a Navy Seal standing over Osama’s dead body giving the thumbs up
May 2, 2011 @ 1:50 pm
Bin Laden died in 2001. http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,41576,00.html Whatever we did yesterday had nothing to do with Bin Laden. It was something that would have had extreme consequences and we covered it up by saying we had killed a man who had been dead for 10 years.
May 7, 2011 @ 6:38 pm
100% political move by Osama bin Obama!
May 2, 2011 @ 1:58 pm
Come on in son have a seat
Don’t mind the screams,don’t mind the heat
It’s been like this round here for a long,long time
We haven’t had the chance to meet
But I’ve heard about you on TV
And I think we’re gonna get along just fine
I can’t help but notice
You look somewhat surprised
Did ya think son after what you’ve done
The Lord would let you slide
Welcome to Hell your new home
You did the crime now you’ll do the time
Right where you belong
Welcome to Hell end of the line
Your final sin got you in
And now your soul is mine
Welcome to Hell
I hope for your sake you’re the kind
That can stand to burn ’til the end of time
‘Cause that’s exactly what you’re gonna do
There’s some ots left on the lake of fire
Where we send your kind to retire
And I picked out a nice little hot spot just for you
I’ve got one last thing to tell ya
And let me make this clear
I don’t know what you’ve been told
But there ain’t no virgins here
Welcome to Hell your new home
You did the crime now you’ll do the time
Right where you belong
Welcome to Hell end of the line
Your final sin got you in
And now your soul is mine
Welcome to Hell
Your final sin got you in
And now your ass is mine
Welcome to Hell
Welcome to Hell,boy
You’re gonna love it
May 2, 2011 @ 9:20 pm
Love that song. Saw Trace perform it live
May 2, 2011 @ 10:51 pm
Yea I love it too. And as for Trace me and him share a lot of the same belifes like he’s a member of the Sons Of Confederate Veterans which I support FULLY and his support of the troops is better than anybody elses besides Toby Keith of course and I agree with him on a lot of things. But his music he’s made some real shitty music but on the other hand he’s made some amazing music music that I love like this song and whoop a mans ass, every light in the house is on, arlington, and the song fightin side all good songs but then there’s badonkadonk and brown chicken brown cow.
May 2, 2011 @ 2:24 pm
Am I sad that the world produces people like Osama Bin Laden? Yes.
Am I sad that many innocent people died as a result of his actions and our questionable reactions? Yes.
Am I sad that this will likely do very little to stem terrorism and Islamo-facism? Yes.
Am I sad that we sent the message that the most elite fighting force in the world will relentlessly, vengefully hunt you down if you dare bring violence to our soil? Hell no.
I hope that the friends and families of the 9/11 victims rest a bit easier now, knowing that this guy isn’t kicking back in a Pakistani mansion somewhere. Call it blood-lust, but to me it is justified in this case.
May 2, 2011 @ 2:28 pm
Nobody ever made the argument that you should be sad. I agree wholeheartedly that this can bring peace of mind to many people. This is a good thing. Nobody is disputing that, but in no way is it right to grab your flag and act like a brute because a man died. It’s barbaric.
May 2, 2011 @ 2:44 pm
Agreed.
May 2, 2011 @ 4:41 pm
Jacob, I think the word I would use would be boorish (’cause I like the letter B). I’d say that if we bombed the hell out of the whole city just to get bin Laden, killing thousands of civilians i the process, and people busted out their flags for that, it would barbaric. In my mind, we have vanquished an enemy who made war on us in heinous fashion and in this case, we did it without collateral damage. Still, keeping my flag in the closet.
May 2, 2011 @ 5:05 pm
I agree with that as well.
May 2, 2011 @ 8:48 pm
you guys summed out how I feel better than i could have myself. i guess it’s a feeling of relief that a man responsible for so many deaths is gone, but it feels wrong celebrating someone’s death no matter. my grandpa was a heck of a fighter pilot in WW2 and he used to say they never celebrated shooting down another plane or winning a battle. that shit just happens in the movies
May 2, 2011 @ 9:23 pm
I am gonna bet those Seals drank some beers after they threw that prick in the ocean though.
May 3, 2011 @ 7:48 am
Well said. And lets not forget that it took us nearly 10 years to find one of the worlds most recognizeable men who was hiding in a mansion in a populated ctity near the Pakastani version of West Point. I’m glad that an enemy leader is gone and this is a step in the right direction, but I am a little confused and disappointed in the celebrations in the streets.
May 2, 2011 @ 2:46 pm
http://youtu.be/vHvF8L9ulqA
May 2, 2011 @ 3:28 pm
I knew it!
May 2, 2011 @ 3:55 pm
Whoa Whoa Whoa…Im way confused now, I thought it was originally written about Triggerman? So does this mean triggerman is/was Bin Laden? and if so how is he still writing articles if the military has his body??? Many questions remain……..
May 3, 2011 @ 12:01 am
I used to work in the Twin Towers and I miss them and my friends and co-workers very much. When I heard our military killed Osama Bin Laden I am relieved that he’s no longer a living threat to the US, but I’m not joining the people downtown to dance around on TV either.
May 3, 2011 @ 1:08 am
Although some people on here who have sympathy for scum of the world I just wanna take a minute to say that I am very happy that this man is dead and I wanna say Thank You to the men from the U.S. Navy Special Warfare Development Group and to the men of the 160th SOAR your efforts to keep this country safe on May 1 will live forever. Most people just think these guys are Navy Seals but these guys are faceless hereos we will never see these men and they will never be given medals or awards or never be famous on tv they have more than likely not seen there familys in 2 or 3 years bc unlike regular servicemen and women they don’t get to leave the fight every 6 months or so they work day in day out with a smile on there face and get the job done no matter what the risk is if they die they won’t have a televised funeral and there true efforts and sacrafices will never be known to us they’ll never get a true thank you or the credit they deserve. Obama had little to do with this like he’d like you to believe. But he’ll be the one getting credit for it the mans never done a good thing in his life but these operators do it on a daily basis. The familys of the dead men don’t get to know what there son, husband, or daddy did there told he died bravely. The men operating in black will never get the recognition that they truely deserve mostly bc we don’t need to know what there doing over there just that there keeping us safe. So to all the Tier 1 Operators in Afghanistan right now we love you and appreciate truly your many sacrafices Thank You SFOD-D, US Navy DEVGRU,and 160th SOAR
May 3, 2011 @ 6:28 am
Not a single person here has shown sympathy for Osama bin Laden. For example, Jacob identified bin Laden as a monster who had to be punished. Guess you missed that one. It’s the gleeful dancing on someone’s grave while waving the flag that many (including myself) find unseemly.
May 3, 2011 @ 7:55 am
I don’t know that I see your point, Jack… I’d piss on his grave if he had one. I can’t draw any moral equivalent between terrorists who rejoiced after the Trade Center fell and American’s being in a celebratory mood after learning of Bin Laden’s death. I wasn’t out dancing myself, but it put a big smile on my face for awhile.
May 3, 2011 @ 8:12 am
There is no absolutely moral equivalence equivalence between the 9/11 terrorists and those who celebrated bin Laden’s death. A bit further above, I said that I thought the”barbaric” was too strong a word to describe the celebraters. And I will admit with no shame whatsoever that my first reaction to hearing about his death was something like “Fuck, yeah!” Every time I see a picture or video of the ruins or of the Towers before 9/11, I feel what sure seems like hatred for those responsible bubble up inside me. But I will restate that I don’t think anyone here has expressed any sympathy for bin Laden.
May 3, 2011 @ 8:56 am
Jack, you seem like an interesting guy and no doubt I would enjoy sharing a beer with you, but you keep retreating behind this idea that no one expressed sympathy for OBL. No, but while you do admit feeling relief, you do keep passing judgement on how people have chosen to express their relief. You say, “Fuck yeah,” and maybe high-five your buddy. Then you can go about your business. That doesn’t mean that everyone sees it that way, or should. It is a genuinely triumphant moment for America and that is going to resonate differently in each individual. To me, the full spectrum of emotion that has been displayed in the past two days is a true testament to our freedom of expression. I chose to celebrate that freedom, you seem to condemn the chosen form of expression.
Another quick thought, many of the pictures that I have seem of flag waving and celebrating have been of young people. Realize, if you are 21 years old today, then you were 11 when the towers fell. Psychologically, you are experiencing this differently than a 41-year old. The living, breathing big bad wolf of your childhood just got killed off by the world’s best sheepdogs. If you experience this emotionally and boorishly rather than rationally and calmly, it is understandable and fine by me.
May 3, 2011 @ 9:21 am
Big A,
Thanks for your thoughtful response and right back at you with respect to sharing a beer. I think it’s more that I think accusing someone of having sympathy for bin Laden is code for “traitor” and that casually throwing out that insult, whether directly or implied, is one of my pet peeves.
If you look back on my numerous comments about the celebrations, I think they fall far short of condemnation. Still, your point that this is a “genuinely triumphant moment for America and that is going to resonate differently in each individual” is well taken.
May 3, 2011 @ 10:27 am
when di this turn into a Trace adkins is the man topic, dear fuckin god if you are gonna praise anyone give thanks to seal tema six, if it is really true, the whole burial at sea thing is a little fishy to me. But holy shit man Trace Adkins is a fuckin ignoramous and cna kiss my hony ass cause he is not as goddamn soldier and deserves no fucking praise for singing a song he didn’t even fucking write. Jesus fucking christ man why don’y you go watch another larry the cable guy stand up so you can get some more git er done joke for the rest of 2011
May 3, 2011 @ 10:29 am
sorry about the typos got real pissed i have a friend who is former special ops and that just got me heated
May 3, 2011 @ 11:02 am
Hey man I have the most respect and love for your friend and I just said that up above about trace bc somebody agreed with me about his song. Did you not read my long comment about the Tier 1 operators? Sorry that I pissed ya off though man
May 7, 2011 @ 6:35 pm
ar,ar,ar…no but really?
November 25, 2012 @ 8:24 pm
why?
November 25, 2012 @ 8:26 pm
okay who likes taylor swifts music?