Saving Country Music’s ANTI ACCA Awards LIVE Blog
Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the ANTI “American Country Countdown Awards” LIVE blog. Yes, it’s yet another country music awards show, replacing the three abysmal years of the now defunct “American Country Awards.” Sorry all previous ACA winners, your trophies are now even more meaningless.
As much as all of country music’s awards shows are ridiculous on some level, the ACCA’s add an additional layer of obvious pandering to sponsors and informercial-style gaming of the American public and ridiculous pedantical pageantry. So please don’t take the idea of paying attention to them in this manner as a validation of these stupid awards. The idea is hold their feet to the fire and offer our spirited dissent. And who knows, there may actually be some cool moments to celebrate as well.
See Award Nominees & More Info on the ACCA’s
Airing on FOX starting at 6 EST, 7 CST.
So lock S-foils in attack position, and let’s go!
Warning: Language
9:16 Final Recap – So in its first year in existence, the American Country Countdown Awards figured out a way to do one worse than it’s “American Country Awards” dubious predecessor. It wasn’t that the presentation was low rent per se, just that the moments were so deflated, the pauses so awkward, the jokes and speeches so canned that you didn’t feel like they built any momentum at any point in the presentation. The inaugural ACCA’s proved why you can’t just manufacture an awards show out of thin air and expect it to fly. It wasn’t just the music and the performances, you didn’t get the sense that anyone in the building, let alone at home, was buying in. They brought in the big production company in Dick Clark Productions, but the show had no spark, and Florida Georgia Line could have not been a worse pick as hosts. They literally told this joke:
” “Hey Tyler, I have to say you have a large sack.” “Yeah, it’s nuts.”
Who the fuck wrote that? Who authorized or signed off for something that stupid to be aired on national primetime television? Are you kidding me? Popularity can’t make up for talent, and they should have put someone in there that could be self-aware enough to be the least bit entertaining.
Choice performances were diminished by being featured in the annoying “medley” format, and the big awards of the night to Reba McEntire and Kenny Chesney felt meaningless.
I’m sure there will be another show next year, but if the “ACCA’s” want to fly as a 4th awards show, they’re going to have to do much, much better.
9:04 – Thanks to everyone for following along, I guess. I’ll compose a recap here, and then we’ll call it a night.
Seriously, thanks for reading.
9:02 – Worst country music awards show ever. Swear on my life.
8:59 – And the awards end with what’s ostensibly become a football commercial. Just about appropriate.
8:58 – Hank Jr. is now wearing an “Icon” cap, maybe hinting he is the next signee to Scott Borchetta’s “Nash Icon” venture? Juicy development. More on this later…
8:57 – Still miffed at Jr. for not squashing Hunter Hayes when he had a chance.
8:56 – It’s been a while since I’ve seen Hank Williams Jr. I barely recognize him without Kid Rock hanging on his nuts.
8:55 – I think the other awards shows have it right: Don’t let the artists speak for more than 15 seconds.
8:53 – “Jason Aldean won the Artist of the Year.” That could be my encapsulation of this evening’s presentation.
8:51 – I pray to God I never have to be subjected to a human interaction with Jason Aldean’s drummer.
8:50 – What the fuck is Brian Kelley wearing now?
“If your wardrobe changes reach double digits in a two hour presentation, you’re not country.” —Jason Isbell (not really).
8:46 – Kenny Chesney cries alligator tears during his acceptance speech. Shuffles off to catch some more melanoma.
8:42 – This show has been so bad, Kenny Chesney actually delivers one of the better performances and songs.
8:41 – Doesn’t Kenny Chesney have a Panama Jack kiosk to make an appearance at?
8:39 – I’ve been chided by a few that Vince Vaughn is actually a big country music fan. I do remember when he introduced the “Lost Highwaymen.” But handing out this fake award to Kenny Chesney doesn’t help his country cred at all in my opinion.
8:36 – No sarcasm. This is the worst awards show I have ever experience based on virtually any metric you employ. I can’t even imagine pop country Kool-Aid drinkers can get into this.
8:31 – I feel a rant brewing for that Lady A shit.
8:30 – Now Lady Antebellum is on stage rapping and name dropping Macklemore. Fuck these awards.
8:28 – Florida Georgia Line’s joke. “Hey Tyler, I have to say you have a large sack.” “Yeah, it’s nuts.” That’s it. Someone got paid to write that bullshit.
8:26 – Somehow, someway, they figured out how to suck the energy out of the building even more than last year’s fatal “ACA Awards.”
8:22 – Eric Church’s acceptance speech, “Yo.”
8:21 – Ha! Maddie & Tae looked like they’d rather be listening to a sex ed sermon.
8:18 – Eric Church could not be here tonight, so his 7-story inflatable Satan accepts this award on his behalf.
8:17 – And their stupid Album of the Year award goes to Eric Church.
8:13 – And Vince Vaughn’s connection to country music is?
8:09 – Brett Eldridge just won something apparently. I was gawking on Twitter, which proved to be more entertaining than this show.
8:04 – One more hour of this. Thank Santa this isn’t a 3 hour awards show. I’m predicting tanked ratings.
8:03 – Love you Reba, but man, was that speech canned.
8:02 –
8:01 – No, don’t give Kix Brooks the mic again!
8:00 – Country music needs more full-figured gals who can actually sing.
7:57 – And here the medley goes: 21 seconds of the hooks of all the hits resulting a completely forgettable performance despite the strength of the material.
7:56 – Alright now, Miranda Lambert and Kelly Clarkson singing “How Blue” is not bad at all. Let’s hope it doesn’t turn into the medley.
7:55 – Is this a country awards show or Charlie Rose? Get on with this! No wonder they didn’t have Kix host.
7:52 – Hopefully this Reba stuff turns into the one redeeming value so far.
7:48 – See, that deflated feeling were all experiencing is what happens when the awards you’re handing out have no meaning.
7:46 – Kip Moore is SO casual he can’t even tie his stupid tux tie, or disguise it any better that this song rips off the beginning verse from Bruce Springsteen’s “I’m On Fire.”
7:45 – Breakdown Artist of the Year goes to Kip Moore.
7:42 – Spencer must be in Miranda’s auxiliary. Also saw him with Miranda when she performed “Somethin’ Bad” on the CMA Fan Fest special this summer. May be the best real country musician we see all night. British chap on the right.
7:39 – Hey, that’s Spencer Cullum Jr. on steel guitar from Caitlin Rose and Jonny Fritz’s band, and his new band with Jeremy Fetzer called “Steelism”!
7:37 – What a horrible song selection from Miranda Lambert, and it doesn’t compliment her voice whatsoever.
7:35 – This presentation so far has more awkward moments than watching porn with my mom.
7:32 – So apparently that dude from Florida Georgia Line made a crack about having sex with Carrie Underwood. I guess he doesn’t know her husband is a professional hockey player, and the ACCA’s don’t give out penalties for cross checking.
7:30 – Hoy shit, it’s a Jerrod Niemann sighting!
7:28 – Those panty waists didn’t even have the balls to say “stoned.” Take a cue from Kacey Musgraves and screw the censors.
7:25 – Tyler Hubbard bringing back Jams.
7:23 – Does Florida Georgia Line know it’s fucking December? It’s always summer when you’re sporting a subpar IQ.
7:22 – Sorry folks, website just crashed. Good problem to have I guess. Back up now.
7:17 – Not the “ACC Awards” Luke, the “ACCA Awards.” That’s okay, nobody else knows that either.
7:16 – Wow, my niece’s grade school presentation has a better pentameter than this show so far.
7:14 – Wearing a collared silk shirt with a baseball cap = self-conscious about being irrevocably bald.
7:13- No folks, there’s no purple alligators, Luke Bryan’s coat is made of PVC.
7:11 – Oh yeah, so the awards are all determined on sales, so we pretty much could figure out the winners before the show. I was going to do this, but completely lost interest.
7:08 – Oh my God Florida Georgia Line. Somewhere there’s a fern in a corner saying, “Meh, I could do better than this.”
7:06 – This thing is already fighting to find its pulse.
7:05 – Sources telling me Carrie Underwood’s gams will be receiving a special tribute tonight. RIP>
7:03 – Was hoping we’d at least get the redeeming value of Carrie Underwood performing “Something In The Water.” Maybe at the end for 18 seconds.
7:02- Oh shit, here comes the Greatest Hits “medley.” I’d rather hear Carrie Underwood giving birth.
7:01 – Way to start off topical ACCA’s, with an 8-year-old Carrie Underwood song.
7:00 – And here we go!
6:57 – What we know will transpire:
Hosts: Florida Georgia Line. Yes, really. It was supposed to be Kix Brooks, but then they unceremoniously replaced him.
Special Awards: Kenny Chesney will be given the “Groundbreaker Award” for “Innovation, excellence and expanding the country music genre.” Reba McEntire will be honored with the “NASH Icon” award. She is also the first signee to Scott Borchetta’s NASH Icon label, a partnership with Cumulus Media who is the big player behind these awards and the weekly “American Country Countdown” radio show.
Performers: Kenny Chesney, Miranda Lambert, Luke Bryan, Lady Antebellum, Jason Aldean, Carrie Underwood, Kelly Clarkson, Brett Eldredge, and Hank Williams Jr. will close out the show with a “party song.”
Presenters seem to come mostly from outside the music world, including Vince Vaughn, MLB pitcher Clayton Kershaw, NASCAR’s Jimmie Johnson, Emily Kinney from the Walking Dead TV show, and Kix Brooks.
– – – – – –
6:50 – Let me start off by saying that I’ve been consternating over the decision to launch a LIVE blog over this ridiculousness over the last few weeks, and still only do so reluctantly. The simple fact is I have to watch this stuff anyway and would be conducting a LIVE blog in my head anyway, so I might as well share it. If you believe it is superfluous, unnecessary, a waste of time, or even counter-productive, you probably won’t get much of an argument out of me. But we also can’t all close our collective eyes and pretend none of this is happening just because we’re not paying attention to it. If there were any country awards worth paying attention to, we all know it would be the CMA’s, and the ACM’s, maybe.
Drake O.
December 15, 2014 @ 6:13 pm
I like that Evans added “according to ACC”
KathyP
December 15, 2014 @ 6:14 pm
Carrie was just glowing. Jason scowling as he takes a sip of his drink. That’s about right.
Trigger
December 15, 2014 @ 6:34 pm
Carrie did good, but I hate the medley. Give me a solid performance, esp. from someone who can sing.
Cayts
December 15, 2014 @ 6:15 pm
The usually-silent FGL member made a joke about how awesome it was to hook up with Carrie Underwood, did he not?
Sandra
December 15, 2014 @ 6:20 pm
I cant watch it because we don’t have it in Australia and none of the live stream videos are working. Damn it, it would of been even funnier if I was watching it and reading your live blog.
Summer Jam
December 15, 2014 @ 6:21 pm
LMAO Trigger, it’s hilarious how you were like F this and just stopped updating!
I don’t blame you, all these ridiculous country awards shows are sooooo predictable. What’s even the point of watching? It’s always superstars that win that don’t deserve it. I will never watch crap like this because rarely is there any true talent nominated, like Easton Corbin, Josh Thompson, Craig Campbell, Josh Turner, Josh Thompson, and hell even someone as popular as Jake Owen.
KathyP
December 15, 2014 @ 6:22 pm
Commercial break came just in time to switch to The Voice and hear Craig Wayne Boyd. Better than a DVR.
Houston Erwin
December 15, 2014 @ 6:23 pm
Florida Georgia Line should be embarrassed with that opening. It was terrible.
Wez
December 15, 2014 @ 6:23 pm
WTF is a group duo?
Houston Erwin
December 15, 2014 @ 6:26 pm
They didn’t even include Florida Georgia Line in the video announcement for nominees.
Wez
December 15, 2014 @ 6:28 pm
I thought that. Wasn’t sure if I had just missed it.
KathyP
December 15, 2014 @ 6:30 pm
They didn’t do it for Luke Bryan, either.
Trigger
December 15, 2014 @ 6:31 pm
Yeah, this is a mess so far. The wheels are wobbling.
Houston Erwin
December 15, 2014 @ 6:48 pm
Im seeing a trend. They have left out the number 1 nominees for each award. The one not named is always the winner.
Trigger
December 15, 2014 @ 6:51 pm
There’s no suspense. A fifth grader with a Country Airplay report and a calculator could have figured out the winners a month ago. I would say the awards feel like an afterthought to this, but the entire thing feels like an afterthought. The energy in the room is bombing.
BrettS
December 15, 2014 @ 6:24 pm
Forgot all about this being on. Was too busy listening to Lyle Lovett
Houston Erwin
December 15, 2014 @ 6:27 pm
At least they are decent enough to play the censored version of this.
Drake O.
December 15, 2014 @ 6:39 pm
Did that one guy give a Walking Dead spoiler? Anyone caught up with the show care to answer if that girl died in it
Drake O.
December 15, 2014 @ 6:40 pm
Sorry not meant to be a reply to you LOL
Houston Erwin
December 15, 2014 @ 6:40 pm
She dies.
H
December 15, 2014 @ 6:37 pm
Not sure Maranda lambert can sing it’s pretty rough like a lot of her performances
JC Eldredge
December 15, 2014 @ 6:38 pm
I’m starting to think the list of performers is the list of winners. Could be wrong, but just the way they are performing after they win??
Sandra
December 15, 2014 @ 6:47 pm
I think your right. Good observation.
Kelly
December 15, 2014 @ 6:45 pm
Spencer has toured with Miranda as her steal guitar player for her past two tours 🙂
Sam
December 15, 2014 @ 6:46 pm
Not Miranda’s Best performance but still better than everyone else so far. Hope she is sangin better for the Reba tribute.
Powderfinger
December 15, 2014 @ 6:47 pm
This post, along with all of this terrible music, is presented by Samsung Galaxy.
Cayts
December 15, 2014 @ 6:50 pm
Am I alone in thinking Kip Moore doesn’t suck? While maybe not “country,” dude has good songs and is pretty good live. Writes his own stuff. His album as a whole was actually pretty good…
Trigger
December 15, 2014 @ 6:52 pm
Kip Moore may not suck, but that performance left some to be desired. Just wasn’t feeling that song whatsoever.
Nick
December 16, 2014 @ 11:29 pm
I thought Kips performance was highlight if show. Love him, live the song and so glad he won – although meaningless to us, he’s worked hard, poured lots into his career so to see him get some recognition is awesome!
KathyP
December 15, 2014 @ 6:54 pm
I saw Kip Moore live two summers ago at a country music festival. I liked him. The raspy voice, the stage presence, the songs. I have no problem with him winning this.
martha
December 15, 2014 @ 7:20 pm
That ‘ up Moore song is pretty good. I like his raspy voice.
Nicholas
December 15, 2014 @ 6:51 pm
You know the show is bad when the highlight is a medley of a bunch of old hits. Peaked, literally, at the beginning of the show. Yikes.
hoptowntiger94
December 15, 2014 @ 6:51 pm
I have it on the tv cause nothing else is on until MNF starts. That dude singing with his tie untied singing a song that sounds like Springsteen – I just knew Trig would have something to say about that!
KathyP
December 15, 2014 @ 6:59 pm
Yup, Miranda/Kelly, the highlight so far. By a country mile.
Powderfinger
December 15, 2014 @ 7:00 pm
I agree. The Reba tribute will be hard to beat. I wonder how many bros out there are just totally confused right now.
Trigger
December 15, 2014 @ 7:08 pm
I agree, just hate the medley. Give an artist more than 30 seconds to try to have a moment. That’s what live performance is all about, and Reba has the material to deliver one.
Liza
December 15, 2014 @ 7:05 pm
I can’t stand Kix Brook’s good ole boy schtick. I think it’s as obnoxious as FGL.
TK
December 15, 2014 @ 7:21 pm
Kix Brooks is a damn phoney. I’m trying to figure out why Dunn would team back up with him for anything.
Lunchbox
December 15, 2014 @ 7:05 pm
first quarter just got over with on MNF. what’s going on over here? how does Miranda look? i bet she looks good…
Wez
December 15, 2014 @ 7:06 pm
the commercials make the target audience quite clear.
Sandra
December 15, 2014 @ 7:12 pm
I’m calling it. Eric Church is going to win Album of the year.
Houston Erwin
December 15, 2014 @ 7:13 pm
If it goes by sale numbers then it will be Luke Bryan.
Houston Erwin
December 15, 2014 @ 7:19 pm
Well you are clearly much better at guessing than me lol
Trigger
December 15, 2014 @ 7:20 pm
Good call.
KathyP
December 15, 2014 @ 7:12 pm
Eldridge is awful.
JC Eldredge
December 15, 2014 @ 7:17 pm
Awww he really isn’t. He has the flu.
KathyP
December 15, 2014 @ 7:20 pm
OK, I’ll give him that.
Jay
December 15, 2014 @ 7:16 pm
Spotted Josh Abbott. I know he’s just dying to cross over. They can have him far as I’m concerned.
Trigger
December 15, 2014 @ 7:26 pm
Really? Good eye. They’ve been doing cameos in the crowd all night.
Jay
December 15, 2014 @ 7:34 pm
Was brief. He was drinking a beer.I’m betting they are grooming him.
Nick
December 16, 2014 @ 11:35 pm
Yup they’re definitely doing some “grooming” – but I’m good with that. #taste
Drake O.
December 15, 2014 @ 7:19 pm
“Maybe if I keep repeating myself they’ll cheer”
Rita Ballou
December 15, 2014 @ 7:23 pm
I just wanted to come over and crash the party….because Eric Church is putting me to sleep.
Liza
December 15, 2014 @ 7:31 pm
They should be ashamed to produce this.
bamstrait
December 15, 2014 @ 7:31 pm
This show looks like something the “Nashville Network” would have aired in the 80’s, very poor production values.
Michael
December 15, 2014 @ 7:46 pm
Anything TNN produced is better than this.
Applejack
December 15, 2014 @ 8:18 pm
Speaking of TNN, I wonder what the Statler Brothers are up to these days.
Despite being in their 70’s, they would still be way more entertaining as hosts than FGL. They could actually sing in harmony and tell jokes.
Enjoy Every Sandwich
December 16, 2014 @ 9:47 am
Bro-country fan: “…harmony? That’s like, what old people do, like. LOL. Country has to evolve! BTW what is ‘harmony’?”
harrison
December 15, 2014 @ 7:32 pm
really, a double performance by lady antebellum?
harrison
December 15, 2014 @ 7:33 pm
This is absolutely a disgrace
Rosalie
December 15, 2014 @ 7:39 pm
The ACCAs are really making me appreciate how not-completely shitty the CMAs were.
Trigger
December 15, 2014 @ 7:49 pm
The CMA’s were like watching an Oscar winning performance compared to this. Everyone thinks they can just throw an awards show and as long as they have the big names and spend the money it will go over well. If the awards don’t have any meaning, the moments mean nothing.
Gena R.
December 15, 2014 @ 11:01 pm
I forgot it was on, but judging from your write-up — especially this part: “…the moments were so deflated, the pauses so awkward, the jokes and speeches so canned that you didn”™t feel like they built any momentum at any point in the presentation… you didn”™t get the sense that anyone in the building, let alone at home, was buying in” — this show sounds like it would be especially ripe for SNL parody. (I could totally see Kyle Mooney and Beck Bennett as FGL… 😀 )
Courtney
December 15, 2014 @ 7:42 pm
Kenny chesney is the most sawed off turtle looking sumbitch I ever did see
KathyP
December 15, 2014 @ 7:43 pm
Does Chesney have the flu, too? Ok, maybe that’s harsh. I first saw him in 1997. Daryl Singletary was on the bill, too. Both newbies. Daryl won the day, but Kenny won the years.
JC Eldredge
December 15, 2014 @ 7:48 pm
lol, I don’t know but he didn’t sound that great.
harrison
December 15, 2014 @ 7:45 pm
Love him, hate him, he’s got some good ass songs
Michael
December 15, 2014 @ 7:45 pm
The ONE good thing about the old ACA awards was that the award was an electric guitar so it could be used.
NOTE: I refuse to watch this disgrace of an awards show.
Trigger
December 15, 2014 @ 7:49 pm
Somehow, even the ACA’s were better than this.
CJ
December 15, 2014 @ 7:49 pm
Haven’t like Miranda’s live performances lately. Something is off, it’s as if she’s bored with everything. Not that I blame her if she’s indeed bored by this particular awards show lol.
I read that her new single will be Little Red Wagon. Will you be posting a review, Trig? Thanks!
Trigger
December 15, 2014 @ 9:59 pm
Maybe, we’ll see.
harrison
December 15, 2014 @ 7:50 pm
Hubbard is a fag
Chris
December 15, 2014 @ 7:51 pm
I’m not even watching this bro-country radio love fest. Let me know when radio starts playing and awarding more than a few country women and more than 1 or 2 hosts the 5 or 6 “country music” awards shows.
harrison
December 15, 2014 @ 7:53 pm
Remember when aldean used to not be a total horndog?
JC Eldredge
December 15, 2014 @ 7:55 pm
1) Aldean can’t sing for shit live recently.
2) The one that never sings in FGL is obviously the only one in the group that can read.
harrison
December 15, 2014 @ 7:56 pm
I feel like if aldean took off his hat, he would be bald with mange hair in spots
JC Eldredge
December 15, 2014 @ 7:59 pm
YES!!!!! Me too!
martha
December 15, 2014 @ 8:02 pm
I’ve seen him without his hat. He ain’t bald yet but he does have a receding hairline.
Liza
December 15, 2014 @ 7:56 pm
Best line…“If your wardrobe changes reach double digits in a two hour presentation, you”™re not country.” ””Jason Isbell (not really).”
Courtney
December 15, 2014 @ 7:59 pm
and here to sing the original bro country anthem mr brocephas himself.
Bigfoot is Real (no auto-tuning thank you)
December 16, 2014 @ 7:49 am
Brocephus!!! Awesome term. All three judges gave you 10s!!!
Justin
December 15, 2014 @ 8:00 pm
BROCephus? Really
BrettS
December 15, 2014 @ 8:02 pm
I’m sorry just never cared for Hank Jr. Kinda feel like he’s to blame for all this bro-bullshit!! Ok there, I said it. Feel better now
Kevin Davis
December 15, 2014 @ 9:03 pm
Yes, I think it is fair to say that Hank Jr. was a significant predecessor to the bro-country phenomenon. Not early Hank Jr. but “rough and rowdy” Hank Jr. If you get the ’20th Century Masters’ collection of Hank Jr., you will get an excellent sampling of his early work. I do like some of his later material, beginning in the 80’s, but I hate “All My Rowdy Friends.” Toby Keith would then copy this party boy theme in the mid-00’s, and prior to that (in 2002) Kenny Chesney started churning out beach music…all of which led to bro-country.
BrettS
December 16, 2014 @ 5:55 am
Good point Kevin. Agreed
Jon D.
December 15, 2014 @ 8:04 pm
Is Hank Jr going to be the next announced Nash Icon artist? Just basing it on his hat he was wearing?
GR
December 15, 2014 @ 8:05 pm
Hank should have come out with a stool and acoustic guitar.
Michael
December 15, 2014 @ 8:08 pm
He is one of the boys now.
kingfish
December 15, 2014 @ 8:08 pm
Hank’s stool is more country than FGL.
Applejack
December 15, 2014 @ 8:20 pm
Pun intended?
Sam Jimenez
December 15, 2014 @ 10:01 pm
“We have events almost every week in Nashville, where we honor ourselves.” – Todd Snider
“This presentation so far has more awkward moments than watching porn with my mom.” – Trigger
zyderock
December 16, 2014 @ 9:54 am
Coverage from Ashley at the Nashville Scene on the “show” pretty entertaining: http://www.nashvillescene.com/nashvillecream/archives/2014/12/16/the-inaugural-american-country-countdown-awards-oh-balls-2014
Troy
December 16, 2014 @ 2:53 pm
I didn’t even bother watching. After reading Trigger’s live blog, I am happy I didn’t. I spent my time listening to Jason Eady.
jimmy row
December 21, 2014 @ 3:14 pm
Is that a pic of dabney coleman from out of time?