Taylor Swift’s 0-fer at ACM’s Due To Overexposure
The internet is exercised today over the fact that Taylor Swift did not win any hardware at last night’s ACM Awards. Fans are looking for the fix, and haters are wondering if this is the end of the Taylor fad. Well, you’re both wrong.
Back when she blew her performance at the Grammy’s her manager said Taylor was “overexposed.” Taylor won nothing by design. Fans and foes should not read anything into it. This is a move by a hyper-controlled career to keep the franchise on track. In fact, look at how many people are talking about it (including muah). Taylor is getting more free pub by not winning than she would by taking home one or two awards. Taylor may eventually prove to be a fad, but don’t buy into this charade, one way or another.
And another thing: These are just the ACM’s. They’re are the consolation prize for the CMA’s, and the CMA’s these days are a joke.
When I first tuned in to the ACM Awards last night, my senses that are so sheltered from the doings of pop country were wholesale violated in the most ill of ways. It started off with a song called “Hillbilly Bone,” which was ostensibly a rap duet sung by Blake Shelton and Trace Adkins. (You can see the duo disgracing the country music mother church with this filth HERE.) In a word, it was shocking, and it made me fear for the direction of the entire human race. I would have rather seen an abortion.
Next came Kenney Chesney clearly lip syncing, and I mean CLEARLY. I mean, even if you have a tattoo with your name and Kenny’s encased in a heart on your ass, last night your brow was furrowed in the universally-recognized “WTF?” position. It was bad. Bad bad.
After that I wasn’t sure I could take any more. I suffer through the CMA’s cover to cover every year, so the ACM’s in my opinion are extra credit. What pulled me through was one of my favorite country writers, one Juli Thanki, live blogging the event on the9513.com. Her quick wit made the whole night worth it. Here’s a sample size of some of her handiwork:
7:05 Imagine Kenny popping out of the screen in 3D? No thanks.
7:10 – Aww, listen to the crowd pretending they know who Bob Wills is
7:33 It must be difficult to dance in assless chaps.
9:30 Brooks and Dunn now have to accept the Top Vocal Duo award and pretend like they don’t want to beat each other to death with their own rib bones.
9:50 This camerawork is making me nauseated. Or maybe it’s the light reflecting off Keith Urban’s waxed chest.
9:53 Who knew Nicole Kidman could move the muscles in her face enough to sing along?
And some zingers from her Twitter account:
Hello, Non-Threatening Mixed Gender Pop Country Band!
Crappy pop-country band shilling for crappy chocolate? Seems appropriate.
Did I tell you guys about my GENIUS idea in which Miranda and Brandi Carlile tour together? They also fight crime.
Randy Travis looks like the Cryptkeeper.
You can see the whole 9513 live ACM blog, including a few of clever comments by clicking here.
April 19, 2010 @ 8:52 am
Today’s Pop Country Music is just a another “rise and soon to fall” genre, of flashy fame hounds. Playin a song that sounds like the last one, that sounds like the last one, that sounds like the last one, that someone told them to sing……I believe that this is similar to the flashy one hit wonders of the Hair-Metal era, except some of those guys actually had BALLS(It might have been hard to tell by looking at them.)Their fame clocks are-a-tickin, its only a matter of time. Here today, GONE……not soon enough.
April 19, 2010 @ 9:04 am
I watched a 20 inning baseball game the day/night before, it would have taken something extraordinary for me to turn the TV on and this certainly wouldn’t have been it.
I think country rap is a wonderful direction for the mainstream to pursue. When rap and rock got together it did wonders – for the underground.
April 19, 2010 @ 9:11 am
Someones confused.
April 19, 2010 @ 9:13 am
Goddamn I thought they quit lip syncin performances in the early nineties!
April 19, 2010 @ 9:23 am
PUKE MY FUCKIN’ GUTS UP !!!
April 19, 2010 @ 9:51 am
Burch,
At least Limp Bizkit and Co. were playing with an open hand. That was their shtick: blend rap and rock. This is rap, wearing country clothes.
I honestly don’t understand why we don’t hear a bigger outcry from mainstream country fans about all the hip-hop influences bleeding into their “country” music. Country artists making rap gestures with their hands and talking about “bling” and “cribs.”
I’m all for “diversity,” so why don’t we keep music diverse instead of perverting all genres until we have one big “supergenre” of pop that all sounds the same.
Sickening.
April 19, 2010 @ 9:52 am
David,
The pop 80’s were alive and well last night. I can’t believe they tried that last night. It went over like a poop in a punch bowl.
April 19, 2010 @ 10:28 am
I unfortunatly ended up watchin’ the damn thing because my family wanted to “Check it out” and wanted me to watch with them being all that it was Sunday meaning “Family Night” so i watched the damn awards and jesus christ either them sound engineers fucked up on the audio or every single one of those artists voices are flat but then when i listened to Miranda Lambert and Brooks & Dunn, They sounded decent. And was it just me or did Ronnie there skip half of the song “My Maria” He sounded great but that man was in a diffrent world and it was clearly obvious he was wasted and IMO that good christian man has some problems but damn for their last ever peformance that was no way to show up, I was disgusted hell even all the male country artists were disgusted Mr. Atkins there looked like he wanted to throttle Ronnie and when they got the award for Top Vocal Duo Of The Year Ronnie kept hiding his face behind Kix Brooks hat and didn’t even bother to say thank you to his fans for everything that they have done meaning supporting them every step of the way and for buying their music. He just hid behind Kix and let Kix do all the talking and walked off stage like what the fuck? Ohwell. But as for the rest of the ACMA’s it was a shitty performance and they all sounded like a broken record but the two i mentioned above, And how can you call it the Country Music Awards when you got Rap Artist handing out Awards to so called “Country” artists. Hell if Brad Paisley or George Strait went to hand out Awards to Rap Artist’s they would be laughed off the stage. IMO this may sound racist but LL Cool J and the rest of his retards attempting poetry should stay the fuck off our stages.. ACMA’s is suppose to be a “Country” thing so keep it country or don’t bother handing out awards. ohwell.. Country’s image has been ruined so it probally doesn’t matter.
April 19, 2010 @ 11:40 am
Yeah I would expect people to get upset about it. Though a number of modern pop country fans really are just pop music fans so they probably wouldn’t care. Still it’s gotta curdle the stomachs of a fair number of listeners.
April 19, 2010 @ 11:48 am
This pains me a little, but I have to point out that Hank Jr. did what could be rap in country when he did “Born to Boogie.” Listen to the lyrics and how the song is put together, it is basically a rap song and that was in 1987.
April 19, 2010 @ 12:18 pm
Rick,
Great point about having rap artists hand out awards! We’re gonna use that precious face time to promote rap, but do you think they’re going to return the favor? No, because rap doesn’t care about country, and all country is trying to do is pander to the “young hip” demographic. Bullshit.
Picturing George Strait in full cowboy regalia hanging out some rap award just made my day.
BTW, this has nothing to do with race for me. We should celebrate our differences BY BEING DIFFERENT! Hip hop already dominates our culture. No need to try to inundate it into country in tasteless ways.
April 19, 2010 @ 12:21 pm
Colt,
Born to Boogie is where Jr. lost me, and lost a lot of folks. I think there’s a quote out there from Hank III saying he likes all his dad’s records up to that point.
Good point. You can find a very small handful of songs, and pretty much tie every modern day pop country song to them.
April 19, 2010 @ 1:19 pm
EITHER NOBODY ELSE HAD A PROBLEM READING THANKI’S TWAT OR DIDN’T TRY BUT IT TOLD ME SHE HAD IT BLOCKED..MAYBE YOU AND HER HAVE SOMETHING GOING ON..I DON’T TWEET ANYWAY JUST LIKE I DON’T LISTEN TO POP COUNTRY..I’M GLAD YOU TOOK ONE FOR THE TEAM.. TRIGGERMAN TWEETING WITH THANKI OR TWATING WITH TAYLOR..I THOUGHT I SAW A TWEETY BIRD..LOL..
April 19, 2010 @ 2:00 pm
Thanks for the update… knowing the ACM’s were on I opted to remove my wisdom teeth with a rusty bottle cap…GLAD I MISSED IT!
April 19, 2010 @ 2:34 pm
Amen to that Triggerman.
And i’m glad that my George Strait comment made your day. Glad i was able to do it. ;]
April 19, 2010 @ 2:55 pm
Fogerty was there, that is neat. I missed Chesney, but, who the fuck was that chick dancing around saying Giddy Up? That was worse than Taylor Swift in my opinion, I mean that was a dance-pop song. Even my son noticed something wrong. He asked and I quote “Daddy, why are those people wearing cowboy hats and singing this song. They don’t sound like cowboys” That is when you know something is wrong, when a 5 year old boy can tell shits fucked up!
April 19, 2010 @ 3:01 pm
Go Tyler! Or wait, what’s your kids name?
April 19, 2010 @ 3:02 pm
For anybody curious about the “Hillbilly Bone” rap, put a paper bag on your knee, click the link and fast forward to the 4 minute mark.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKlSbGhSCWA
April 19, 2010 @ 5:31 pm
“taking one for the team” is an understatement….i don’t know how you put yourself thru watching that crap. it would put me into a rage. THANKS from all of us…
April 19, 2010 @ 6:45 pm
Thankis quips are brilliant! Wish I could have still been in America to have experienced the show myself. I was on a plane and got home yesterday – 20 hours in transit – yawn. Cher looks amazing, wonder how she looks close up? I digress – Oh my god, that song Hillbilly Bone is BRILLIANT. It is catchy and has the awesome recall of other novelty songs like Achy Breaky Heart and Don’t Worry Be Happy. I can’t even get angry about it cos it doesn’t have a country chord in it – it’s just a really humorous, piece of mainstream radio fluff. I notice they are singing about jeans and hillbilly bone, does this genius little ditty also contain a rather lewd double entendre?!?! GASP. Damn you Triggerman, I’m gonna have it stuck in my head all day now. Hillbilly bo bo bo bo bo bone.
April 19, 2010 @ 7:02 pm
Carla, you devil.
You and Juli are two pees in a pod.
April 19, 2010 @ 8:13 pm
Hahaha! That’s funny. Like you and this dude I met in Austin called Kyle – reminded me HEAPS of you.
April 19, 2010 @ 10:19 pm
I watched it. I want to die.
April 20, 2010 @ 5:52 am
I think Carrie Underwood’s performance of “Temporary home” was nice…Don’t quite like her performance at first though.
Carrie’s win was only fair. Taylor’s got enough.
April 21, 2010 @ 10:58 am
I don’t watch TV, and I sure as hell don’t listen to country radio, but I heard through a friend that the local country station here was ripping the current crop of “country” stars for not being REAL country. I’m sure those same stars are played regularly on their station, but it brought home what you’ve been saying about people waking up to the shit Nashville’s been spoon-feeding them. Perhaps a change is in the wind…
April 26, 2010 @ 6:18 am
TAYLOR SWIFT IS TO COUNTRY WHAT AIR SUPPLY IS TO ROCK
April 26, 2010 @ 10:05 am
Here’s a joke I just made up:
Taylor Swift’s plane crashes in the ocean,
and she is thrashing around in the water
trying to keep from drowning.
A boat approaches to rescue her but when
the captain see’s who it is he just keeps
on going.
“Stop! Come back! Where are you going??” She shrieks.
“Away from you!” He yells back.
“But why?” She screams.
“Because you suck!”