Thomas Rhett’s Wife Lauren Akins Is Way More Interesting Than He Is

Random Notes 52 Comments

Look, Thomas Rhett seems like a really swell guy. You want someone to date your sister or daughter, or watch over the dues payments to your local youth soccer association, who better?

But as a “country” artist, the guy’s got a whole bunch of nothing. Thomas Rhett has the personality of a cinder block. His sole attributes are having a famous father, and being an entirely willing vessel for the marketeers on Music Row to do whatever they wish with him free of personal will like a pop country version of silly putty, which for the most recent portions of Thomas Rhett’s career has been to portray a white boy version of Bruno Mars prancing around on stage to lame pop songs.

It’s not a requisite, but most musicians worth their salt have a screw or two loose, or at least did at one time. It’s their payment for a poetic disposition. But Thomas Rhett is so well-adjusted and affable, there’s just absolutely nothing about him that’s rendered interesting or intriguing whatsoever, even though he’s arguably one of the biggest stars in “country” music at the moment, mostly by hook and crook. Most Americans couldn’t name you one Thomas Rhett song or pick him out of a lineup, but somehow he’s the reigning ACM Entertainer of the Year with Carrie Underwood.

Understanding this dilemma that the son of Rhett Akins is basically a blank slate when it comes to personality, the Music Row marketeers have made use of about the only thing interesting and appealing in Thomas Rhett’s life: his wife. For years every time we’ve seen Thomas Rhett performing on stage at one of country music’s stupid award shows, the cameras find Rhett’s wife Lauren Akins almost just as much as Rhett himself. Her likeability rating is through the roof, while people can’t help but look past Thomas Rhett.

Lauren Akins is now one of those people that is famous for being famous, with millions of Instagram followers. She published a book last year called Live in Love. High school sweethearts with Rhett, Lauren got a degree in nursing, and has used her skills to volunteer and advocate for the underprivileged throughout the world, including traveling to Haiti, Honduras, and Uganda, and works with an organization called 147 Million Orphans. She and Rhett adopted a Ugandan orphan in 2017 named Willa Gray.

Now in 2020, Lauren Akins is finally starting to be featured beside Thomas Rhett, as opposed to hiding in his anemic shadow. Because it truth, she’s the star of the show, even though she doesn’t perform. On the CMA Awards in early November, Lauren Akins didn’t just sit demurely out in the crowd like she’s done for the last few years, she actually presented an award. Now she is co-hosting the CMA’s dopey Christmas special on Monday night (11-30) with Rhett (TIP: It’s not worth your time). Next year, who knows, maybe she will host it alone. She probably should.

This isn’t to endorse people who become famous for being famous, or get famous because they’re married to someone who is kind of famous. I’m sure in the coming years, we can look forward to Lauren Akins learning how to make floral arrangements on the Today Show with Hoda Kotb, or debating the finer points of American immigration policy with Whoopi Goldberg on The View, or appearing on some other inane midday time waste. It’s still of no particular consequence to country music.

But following the career path of Lauren Akins emphasizes just how aggressively uninteresting many of today’s top “country” stars happen to be. That’s why much of the media is fixated on their personal lives and spouses. Thomas Rhett is basically a lifestyle brand, with the particulars of his home life being of much greater interest to bored housewives than his music, especially his wife Lauren.

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