Weird Al & Friends Finish Unfinished Johnny Cash Songs
On the heels of the news of the release of the Lost Notebook of Hank Williams project spearheaded by Bob Dylan, a new project has just been announced, taking the same concept to some unfinished transcripts from the late Johnny Cash, slated to be called Johnny Cash’s Forgotten Files. Just like the Hank Williams project, before the album is even released it is stirring up some controversy, principally because of who has been chosen to head the project: none other than “Weird” Al Yankovic.
“We know it seems like an unusual pick at first,” explains Time Life spokesman Bob Frankenfurter. “But over his 35+ year career, Weird Al has proven a master of mimicking the tone and style of other artists. So who better to oversee the fleshing out of these precious, previously-unreleased songs!”
None of the songs to be recorded have any music. They are simply lyric sheets, some with partial lyrics or only ideas scratched on paper. They were apparently stumbled upon by accident as a bookkeeper and an intern had an impromptu sex act in a closet at BMI’s Music Row offices.
Just like the Hank Williams project, Weird Al isn’t being charged with finishing all the songs himself, but to farm the songs out to other celebrities.
“I look at this like Hollywood making movies out of of cheesy 80’s sitcoms and cartoons.” explains Yankovic. “Basically the music business is completely out of ideas, so they will try anything to make a buck. Who did I pick for the songs? It was simple, I called up my closest cronies, and whoever I thought would be sensational enough to help sell records, with absolutely no regard to creative aptitude or relevancy to a project bearing Johnny Cash’s name. And Sheryl Crow, because apparently it’s a requirement she’s involved in all of these type of things.”
The list of contributors includes names not known for music first, like the recently-retired NBA superstar Shaquille O’Neil and actor Gary Busey, though Weird Al was quick to point out Gary’s acting role as Buddy Holly, and that Shaq has release five studio rap albums.
Weird Al also encouraged an avant-guarde approach to how each contributor related to the unfinished song, to try to facilitate creative inspiration. “I wanted each artists to not just relate to the song itself, but the actual piece of paper it was written on, that still holds a little of Johnny Cash’s essence.” Apparently Weird Al sent the songs out in Fruit Loop cereal boxes, making the contributors dig through the cereal with their hands to locate the song sheets, like they were prizes. After that the contributors could do what they wanted.
“Fo shizzle my nizzle, I’m involved in that Johnny Cash shit,” Snoop Dogg reported to TMZ outside of a Riverside, CA night club. “I took my song sheet, wrapped it up with my special Snoop Dogg kush and smoked that shit. I ain’t got a clue what was on it, but it inspired me to write a song called “High on The I-5.” I think Johnny would be proud.
Gary Busey had a different approach. “I dressed up in my finest suit, took my song to one of the finest ballet’s in town, dined it at a five star restaurant, took it home, and then made sweet love to it on a bear skin rug in front of a raging fire.”
Apparently when Shaquille O’Neal was given his song, he accidentally ate it with the rest of the Fruit Loops. When confronted about it later, he simply said, “Who the fuck is Johnny Cash?”
Track list for Johnny Cash’s Forgotten Files:
- Cindi Lauper – My Heart, Your Hand
- Carrot Top – On The Lonesome Streets of Cincinnati
- Mr. T. – A Prairie Wind
- “Weird” Al Yankovic – The Sound of Heartbreak
- Snoop Dogg – High On The I-5 (originally titled ‘Jesus, Keep Me From Sin’)
- Gallagher – Beautiful When She Sleeps
- Shaquille O’Neil – ???? (accidentally eaten)
- Sheryl Crow – Cold Winter, Colder Heart
- Terry Bradshaw – Two Left Feet
- Gary Busey – Sex On A Bear Skin Rug (originally titled ‘Mother, Take Your Final Rest’)
When “Weird” Al was asked why more of Johnny Cash’s immediate family was not used in the project, he responded “Johnny Cash has immediate family?”
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August 24, 2011 @ 7:43 am
Uhhhh. Yeah. Johnny Cash would not be proud. I have to use this to comment on your radio programming Triggerman. For some reason, KOOK is unavailable to me but it opened up the opportunity to dig into your episodes. Great mixing of great music. Really. I get sidetracked sometimes, if you can imagine, and well, I’m now enthralled with the Triggerman’s DJ’in skillz. Why don’t you take a stab at finishing JC’s unfinished lyrics? I’d rather eat gravel than hear a song by Gary Busey.
August 24, 2011 @ 7:49 am
Thanks for listening Denise!
August 24, 2011 @ 2:08 pm
Uh. You do realize this article is satirical, right?
August 25, 2011 @ 7:22 am
Uh. Yeah. The first hint was Weird AL’s “YOU KNOW THIS IS SATARICAL” eyeballin’ . . . .
August 24, 2011 @ 7:43 am
Ha! Brilliant!
August 24, 2011 @ 7:57 am
awesome! haha…
August 24, 2011 @ 8:06 am
This is great. Haha.
August 24, 2011 @ 10:58 am
HAHAHAAHA. Best article ever.
August 24, 2011 @ 11:25 am
What a disgrace to Johnny Cash!
August 24, 2011 @ 4:49 pm
“I ain”™t got a clue what was on it, but it inspired me to write a song called “High on The I-5.” I think Johnny would be proud.” Instant classic!
August 24, 2011 @ 7:43 pm
this better be a fuckin joke
August 25, 2011 @ 12:06 am
Good stuff right there trig lol. I at first thought it was serious just bc what nashville will do to make money doesn’t suprise me and actually I’m looking forward to what they do next there just grasping straws. On another more serious note though the unfinished hank songs should ONLY be completed by hank himself which aint happening anytime soon or 3 that’s the only way I’d listen or buy it. 3 does his grandaddy perfect.
August 25, 2011 @ 1:57 am
Seriously? The name Bob Frankenfurter didn’t clue everyone in on the joke? If Trig REALLY wanted to mess with folks heads he’d have used Bob Fluffernutter.
August 26, 2011 @ 12:16 am
Well I was half asleep anyways lol. But yea know I feel like an idiot for being the only one who didn’t get it first
August 25, 2011 @ 4:59 am
My god, there are some dumbasses reading this post…
August 25, 2011 @ 7:40 am
Lighten up Dan. You’re reading this post too.
August 25, 2011 @ 9:05 am
Who the fuck is Shaquille O”™Neal?
August 25, 2011 @ 9:16 am
You know! Retired NBA star who starred in Shazam!
August 25, 2011 @ 9:21 am
This made my day,Trig. Hilarious! The Sheryl Crowe line made me blow Mtn. Dew out my nose.
Thanks man!
August 25, 2011 @ 10:10 am
Out yer nose? That’s gotta burn.
August 26, 2011 @ 6:39 pm
Yeah, I too laughed out loud at the Sheryl Crowe reference. She’s like bloody Bono. Apparently it’s mandatory to have him in every single music doco, regardless of the genre, sharing his pearls of wisdom.
August 25, 2011 @ 4:07 pm
Haha brilliant
August 25, 2011 @ 7:21 pm
““But over his 35+ year career, Weird Al has proven a master of mimicking the tone and style of other artists.”
Funny thing is, there is some truth to that. Al can write some great parodies, and actually has enough musical talent to pull it off. I appreciate his poking fun at the music business and pop culture in general, though can only listen in small doses. Has he ever tried to do any serious music?
One of your best articles yet, Triggerman. I also got a good laugh at the Sheryl Crow line.
August 25, 2011 @ 7:27 pm
He does. He’s also directed and produced music videos for serious artists. I actually have a lot of respect for Weird Al, and he honestly was my first music obsession as a boy.
August 25, 2011 @ 9:07 pm
Truth is, Weird Al probably has too much self respect, and respect for other artists, to really be a part of that sort of debacle.
August 26, 2011 @ 6:16 am
Did you learn to play the accordion?
There are not many people who can work in so many genres. Didn’t realize he did serious videos for others, but that doesn’t surprise me.
August 26, 2011 @ 11:40 am
good read triggerman! i won’t say weird Al is one of my favorites, but he’s done a lot of stuff i really like. i’m actually quite curious about the result of his take on johnny cash. should be interesting, looking at the names. but, no matter how you look at this, it’s maybe the best answer to this strange hank williams-project, in which i’m not really interested.
by the way, the only sheryl crow-songs i have in my cd-collection are on various tribute-cd’s. keeps her off the streets, i guess.
August 29, 2011 @ 12:50 pm
I’m a huge Weird Al fan, to the point of having his autographed tattooed on my leg. Ive been a fan of Cash since I bought my first album on a whim. A combo of those two would be amazing. Yes, Al is a comedy musician, but him and his band have played every type of music available. They recreate songs perfectly, in addition to recreating particular artists styles. I think if Al was handed Cash lyrics and was asked to write the music, you would hear it and think that he had gotten the music from him as well. I know this article is a joke, but damn, it would be awesome
September 7, 2011 @ 10:32 am
This is an insult to the integrity of what country music used to be. All the people on that list have no business even trying. Because none of them are even real artist’s. Hank Williams and Johnny Cash deserve better than this!!!