Brian Kelley of Florida Georgia Line’s “Kiss My Boots” to Tyler Hubbard (A Rant)
WARNING: Language
Imagine being the untalented one in country music’s most notoriously untalented and historically terrible duo Florida Georgia Line. FGL was literally patient zero for the horrible scourge of Bro-Country that ravaged country music for over a decade. What a legacy to live down. These dudes were lucky to last a dozen years before the public told them to get fucked and they imploded in a blaze of bad white boy raps, rehashed 808 beats, and faded designer denim.
Florida’s Brian Kelley should be glad he’s not cleaning bidets at Mar-a-Lago for a living. He hung on to the nut sack of Tyler Hubbard to stardom, standing there making millions as his entirely disposable harmony vocals were run through an Auto-Tuner before being buried imperceptibly in the mix. Brian Kelley was a prop so the outfit could qualify for “Duo of the Year” trophies and because Tyler Hubbard looked like he was still eating glue in the 8th grade.
Now Brian Kelley has a new song out called “Kiss My Boots,” and apparently it’s a send off to his former bandmate. Gone are they days when these two were rubbing their taints together, and writing terrible tractor rap songs with seven other assholes that would get stuck at the top of the country charts for 17 weeks. These dudes are the reason people now think it’s okay to call Beyonce “country.”
Kiss his boots? Instead, Brian Kelley sticks his foot in his mouth. He’s supposed to be calling out Tyler Hubbard, but instead Kelley enacts a spectacular self-own from how shitty this song is. Don’t get me wrong, I do find a little sadistic pleasure in Beavis and Butt-Head bloodying each other up in a public manner. It’s not like Tyler Hubbard is worth defending. But this dog don’t hunt. It takes a big dump on the kitchen floor, and lays there licking itself while you have to clean it up.
“It was healing to write. I feel released now. Everyone processes things differently. I went inward,” Brian Kelley says about “Kiss My Boots,” as if it’s all erudite and heady or something. In reality it’s a terrible and dated Bro-Country song with hackneyed beats and list-tastic lyrics that adds vengefulness to its list of sins.
“Want the world to know that you did me wrong,” Kelley sings. “I don’t know how you act sweet, after how you did me. Here’s a middle finger to you through a song.”
Oh get the hell over it you big baby. You’re acting worse than if you got your heart broken by a woman. So Tyler Hubbard was talking shit about you behind your back? Millions of Americans were screaming obscenities at their radios every time Florida Georgia Line came on as you became the laughing stock of American entertainment.
Brian Kelley, take your damn millions, and enjoy the rest of your life playing the county fair circuit like a man. Because if you think this Bro-Country mess is due for a resurgence in 2024, I’ve got some Sam Hunt stock to sell you.
And what’s up with this completely meaningless chorus? “I’m crankin’ Hank, drinkin’ Jack. I’m crankin’ Hank, drinkin’ Jack,” Kelley belches out. Just like at the height of Florida Georgia Line, Brian Kelley is out here spewing inane country buzzwords over electronic hip-hop beats without any rhyme or reason and thinking this will fly. What the fuck does Brian Kelley know about Hank except for bastardizing a legacy and bloodline that has allowed idiots like himself to get filthy rich?
Florida Georgia Line imploded because Tyler Hubbard completely gave into the conformist attitude about COVID and political correctness, while Brian Kelley fell for every single conspiratorial canard being shared on fringe cable news, causing irreparable friction between the two. They truly are the Tweedledee and Tweedledum of the political binary, illustrating bumbling Americans succumbing to propaganda. They deserve each other.
The only good thing about “Kiss My Boots” is that it hopefully dooms any and all prospects for a Florida Georgia Line reunion tour in the future, while hopefully the Country Music Hall of Fame refuses these Bro-Country acts from consideration like baseball’s steroid era. The last thing anyone should ever have to endure is recalling the embarrassment of Bro-Country.
Go get bent, BK.
Two Guns Down (1/10)
March 7, 2024 @ 11:50 am
Finally! The reason I read this site is because of these kinds of articles. The kind which tell honest truth, do not pander in any way and show everyone who hasn’t caught on yet why most of the “top” country songs aren’t even country (Kelsi Ballerini ring a bell?) being aired, promoted and pushed into reality by the likes of “Country Music” Television.
Both words in quotes because they neither air country nor music.
Trigger, you FINALLY penned the article FGL needed to have written about them. This is perfect and absolutely describes not only the problem with bro country, but also the fail that is Tyler Hubbard (5′ 9″ anyone?).
Please. Make a similar article about Kane Brown. This fucking guy needs to have his career flushed down a toilet, fished up out of the ocean and get flushed again before once more fishing it up, tossed into a dumpster fire and then buried in the “we will never speak of these dark days again” pile.
March 7, 2024 @ 8:12 pm
Kane has plenty of talent.
He has a nice voice.
Can, you know, Actually sing.
*gasp*
March 8, 2024 @ 8:11 am
Kane Brown is a monotone, talent-less hack making anything BUT country music.
He can’t sing. Not my problem you are tone deaf.
He has zero range, always sings in a lower register thinking he sounds sexy and smooth, meanwhile his endless braying out of what they attempt to call music is almost universally detested, except in rare cases such as yours. The fact that they push his trash… I mean, “music”.. to streams so hard they have no choice but to be heard just shows he needs to continually be propped up by his producers and the mainstream in order to keep making money off of him. His current song which recently went number one on CMTs “hot 20” list was just another display of his style of having zero vocal range compared to even the worst karaoke singers. He sounds like a retiree adored lounge lizard who sees he has no other choice but to keep the old ladies happy with his velvet jackets with sequins on the lapels in order to get by and continue to call himself a musician.
Marginally talented at best, his duet with his lovely wife was mostly her much better, clearer and cleaner voice. She actually displayed a range right next to his monotone-as-usual performance.
Kane Brown is a shitshow of autotune and a dumpster fire of horrid vocals and even more horrid songs devoid of passion or anything resembling a good vocal performance.
Put him against the likes to Charley Pride, Ray Charles, Darius Rucker even, Cody Johnson or Jelly Roll for that matter! Kane has NO RANGE. Period. If you can’t hear that, it’s not our fault that you find the catchy chorus and bridge to mean talent while ignoring the piss poor vocals.
Kane has no talent. He is pushed as though he does, but if you listen carefully and let your musical ear mature, you can do little else but agree
March 8, 2024 @ 10:25 am
Laughing …
March 12, 2024 @ 7:27 pm
Let’s not forget Kane Brown’s futzing with charting and unorthodox entry into country…
.https://savingcountrymusic.com/kane-brown-market-manipulations-the-manufacturing-of-an-organic-star/
Talent, yes, in manipulations of charts….
March 12, 2024 @ 8:09 pm
Maybe Di Harris should read that as well. Thanks for linking it.
But you have it right, Penn Central. Organic star much like organic gasoline.
March 7, 2024 @ 11:50 am
Still a better love story than Twilight
March 7, 2024 @ 11:52 am
Absolutely brilliant! I really hope this is the death knell of this kind of -hmmm, can’t call it music. FGL hurt my ears in the first recognizable techno beat. How they made it to where they did is a good indication of just how fucking stupid people are in this country.
Thanks for the heartfelt laugh.
March 7, 2024 @ 11:54 am
Boy, haven’t seen an article this mean in awhile. Of course, haven’t heard a song this dumb in awhile. With all the good news to be had these days, part of me does miss the days of regular scathing articles, eloquently eviscerating those who sorely needed it. But then I’ll listen to WSKY or any of the multitude of great artists coming out, and I get over it pretty quickly. I really loved the line about the dog; I’m going to steal that one.
March 7, 2024 @ 4:46 pm
+1
I rather enjoyed the following line myself. I laughed out loud.
“Gone are they days when these two were rubbing their taints together, and writing terrible tractor rap songs with seven other assholes”
March 7, 2024 @ 11:55 am
I think it’s a stretch to say this song is about Tyler Hubbard. To me, it’s just a bad break up song. Sounds a lot like that stalker song Tyler Farr had about a decade ago. Redneck Crazy?
March 7, 2024 @ 12:04 pm
The Brian Kelley camp is betting big on the press and the public thinking this is about Tyler Hubbard. That’s why we immediately saw articles about it in Rolling Stone and Billboard. Adding a leaven of doubt just creates even more intrigue in the song. Brian Kelley is currently married and hasn’t broken up with his wife. If it’s not about Tyler Hubbard, the Brian Kelley camp sure isn’t in any hurray to correct the record.
March 9, 2024 @ 11:25 am
Thank you for dredging up that turd! That song came out when I was working at a sheet metal shop in Central PA and the crew of course listened to shitty pop country drivel. 2013-14 was the last time I listened to country radio and that song was the most pathetic incell bullshit I had ever heard. One of the most pathetic people there loved it. George Jones died during that time and none of the “country” folk knew or cared. Had to GTFO back to where we have actual mountains.
March 7, 2024 @ 11:55 am
When you get hurt, it’s hard to get over it but I hope they will both move on with their dreams and continue to support their political choices .
March 7, 2024 @ 11:58 am
I LOVE your reviews! So true on these 2 and so glad they will be no more. Winning all those awards! OBNOXIOUS!
March 7, 2024 @ 12:05 pm
So, do you like the song or not? Just be clear.
March 7, 2024 @ 12:23 pm
yeah Trig, tell us what you really think…
March 7, 2024 @ 12:49 pm
I thought John Lennon’s crappy and bitter song about Paul McCartney, “How do you Sleep,” would never be topped in terms of childish pettiness. BK must have discovered Lennon’s album in a bargain bin and found inspiration. (“Who is this strange man with the stringy hair and funny glasses? Never heard of him. Oh well, I can steal the concept.”)
March 7, 2024 @ 1:07 pm
Should have just covered Charlie Marie’s “Kiss My Boots”. Actually a good song and gets the same point across 😛
March 7, 2024 @ 1:15 pm
So basically COVID was worth it.
March 7, 2024 @ 6:20 pm
Trig, put this on the short list for Comment of the Year
March 8, 2024 @ 6:23 pm
I would love a year end roundup of best comments
March 7, 2024 @ 1:22 pm
I had never heard a note of FGL’s music. From what has been said about it, I understood without hearing it.
I broke down and tried this. Maybe made it a whole minute before hitting the stop button.
What a fucking terrible piece of “country” music.
And ‘Ol Hiram would dislike it too, I believe.
March 12, 2024 @ 6:15 pm
Yeah, I made it through the first chorus before stopping it. On a positive note: it’s actually better than anything FGL did, but that wasn’t a high bar to reach.
March 7, 2024 @ 2:02 pm
Not a fan of this, but I will I am surprised how he actually sings. I like his voice better than Tyler Hubbard.
March 7, 2024 @ 2:03 pm
You definitely took pleasure writing this. Ha!
March 7, 2024 @ 2:25 pm
Really weird and unnecessary post.
March 7, 2024 @ 2:37 pm
There’s an old South Park episode where the guys try to make a hit Christian Rock album by just replacing the words “baby” and “girl” with “Jesus” in pre recorded, soft rock love songs because they falsely assume the audience is full of idiots that won’t really notice.
That feels like what they did here. Except, they actually managed to put even less effort into it. Feels like they genuinely took some shelved, buzzword laden, bro country breakup anthem, and slightly tailored it to be about another grown man.
Theres no way you could play that song for anyone who didn’t know the context and they wouldn’t assume Brian was talking about a former lover. 0% chance.
Knowing that People Magazine and US Weekly are running articles about this song being about Tyler Hubbard, and then listening to it expecting a “Hit Em Up”, Tupac-esque diss track, is a laugh out loud funny experience.
The fact that no one in the studio said “it kinda sounds like you want to f**k him one last time, instead of punching him in the face, Brian. Should we make it less melodramatic, maybe call in our hardcore buddy Brantley Gilbert and add some aggressive guitar riffs to make this a little angrier?” is amazing in its own right.
March 7, 2024 @ 4:02 pm
Folks really need to appreciate the role the media is playing in this rollout. Right after the song was issued, there were half a dozen headlines in major publications asking “Gee, is this song about Tyler Hubbard?” That’s the marketing strategy behind it. That is what the publicists and label are pushing. People love a good vs. story. That’s one of the reasons I decided to address this with a rant. I’m not playing their little game. I’ll flip the entire table and tell it like it is.
March 8, 2024 @ 8:44 am
It definitely comes off as contrived.
News cycles and reigns in pop music are so short – in 99% of cases. It’s been so long that people just forgot about these two and their beef. Plus, the individual names aren’t recognizable to the general public outside of the group. Even with great PR stirring the pot, it’ll be damn near impossible to get that back.
(FTR, totally forgive you for editing out the set up of my joke, probably would have attracted undue attention from those who would have missed the point entirely)
March 7, 2024 @ 2:42 pm
Terrible article, idiot comments. Wow, lol.
March 7, 2024 @ 4:09 pm
Don’t make it so obvious next time, Brian.
March 9, 2024 @ 12:16 am
Did your taint get too sore?
March 11, 2024 @ 8:09 pm
If everyone around you is the asshole, you might need to take a look inward.
March 7, 2024 @ 2:51 pm
Needs more autotune
March 7, 2024 @ 2:54 pm
Great article, Trigger. Out of totally morbid curiosity watched the video. No one in their right mind would believe BK would kill a rattlesnake with a knife. The song was just as stupid.
March 8, 2024 @ 7:08 am
I made it about 45 seconds. I just can’t. But that’s the case for all pop country for me. It all sucks ass.
March 7, 2024 @ 3:30 pm
His picture makes me miss Dan Seals – the song makes me glad Dan isn’t around to hear it.
March 7, 2024 @ 3:53 pm
Ah hell Trigger, why do you wanna ruin county fairs for everyone by encouraging
this turd to spend the rest of his life playing the circuit?
March 7, 2024 @ 3:59 pm
There both dumb and I hated every FGL album ever released. If this is about Hubbard it’s childish and stupid.
That said, his first solo album revealed he is capable of actually singing, unlike what he did in FGL. Not well enough to tolerate the bullshit, but not the worst voice I’ve heard..
March 7, 2024 @ 4:14 pm
Trig, LOVE The Article !, Love “FLAT-OUT” Honesty…..BUT, The Term “Bro-Country”, And For Some Reason, This Term has Been Haunting My Head for a Few Days ! As An Proprietor of an Independent Brick and Mortar Record Store, I Have Been Asking Myself, “WHO IN THE HELL STARTED”, “Bro-Country”, Not so much the Term, BUT, The Actual Singers Themselves ? I Would Love To Hear What You Have to Say ’bout This in DETAIL !, And I’m Sure You Wish You Could, But That is for another day as I am SURE it Would Be an Essay ….But For Me, I Say It Started with garth Brooks, Kenny Chesney and Tim McGraw !!!
March 8, 2024 @ 11:30 am
The exact bro-country term and phrase is rather unique to study and can (and does) include a lot of performers, most of whom not currently relevant.
In 2013 the term was coined by Jodi Rosen, and quickly adopted both as a criticism and as a legimitate subgenre by its fans.
Wikipedia editors have a curious relationship with the phrase and its defenition, but they have (or had) what was called ‘the Luke Bryan compromise’ often invoked when deciding if an artist was to be a bro country or a country artist according to their articles.
Jason Aldean is generally credited as recording the first bro country song, BUT the roots of the sub genre go back even earlier, including but not limited to Blake Shelton’s ‘hillbilly bone’ song, and some might even argue that Rodney Atkins’ ‘what i love about the south’ is a precursor to the bro country subgenre.
The singers most credited for initiating it are usually Jason Aldean and the 2 guys from florida georgia line, although Aldean was previously successful with other songs.
Established singers like Blake Shelton and Luke bryan were among the first to chase the trend, and copycat singers like Cole Swindell (a luke bryan understudy) quickly came out of the woodwork to imitate the style, including Chase Rice and the heretofore not terribly successful Brantley Gilbert.
The perfect trifecta of bro country is generally regarded as being aldean, fgl and luke bryan, with some including blake shelton on the list. those four are the most obviously successful artists to succeed at bro country.
other singers, like Lee Brice, have released bro country hits but differentiated themselves from the style and didn’t put all their eggs in one basket, later either demonstrating real country cred (lee brice is known to perform ‘Old violin’ for instance) or following other trends
The bro country bubble lasted around five years, if you count ‘Hillbilly bone’ as it’s inception, or around 3-4 years if you call dirt road anthem the first.
In 2015 Chris Stapleton had a huge upset at the november awards and the bro country lock on country radio effectively ended overnight (in actually a long slog already in progress)
Major country coverage focused on Sam hunt (who didn’t make bro country by definition but wasn’t far removed, resulting in the brief ‘Metro-bro’ term that never gained traction, and the newly discovered Kane Brown, who was doing randy travis and george strait covers online but immediately got sucked into the trend chasing of the system.
But that all ended quickly as Chris Stapleton made waves and the era ended although it was already in decline
So officially bro country broke out with Jason Aldean, but really blake shelton was making it even a couple years earlier.
And let’s draw attention to the line from the Rodney atkins song ‘what i love about the south’ not to be confused with the phil harris song of the same name.
“hot women skinny swimming barely belly button deep, turn muddy river water into sweet sweet tea’
Gross. but also a great example of bro country lyrics, and that one was in the books five years before B.B.S. (before blake shelton)
So bro country was creeping its way in during the early 2000s but broke big in the first couple years of the oughts.
March 10, 2024 @ 1:21 pm
Fantastic summation! Can you elaborate on the “Luke Bryan compromise” you mentioned, I haven’t heard that before
March 11, 2024 @ 12:36 pm
Hi! Okay so, and i say this only by scrolling through the edit history on Wikipedia articles, but there was a dispute on whether or not being cited as an example of bro country by the person who coined the term was enough to justify putting an artist as a bro country artist. In the edit history they refer to ‘the Luke Bryan compromise’
In fact, among bro country artists, there is a persistent trend of their Wikipedia articles being adjusted away to either pop country, country, pop, or bro, country, and away from country music proper.
The Wikipedia, editors, usually wind up, reverting these, but in the cases of artists who are consistently edited, there is a compromise
I was unable to find exactly what I read years ago about the Luke Bryan compromise specifically by looking through edits, but what came to my attention looking through the articles is that a lot of people have edited the articles just to change the genre.
March 12, 2024 @ 3:42 pm
We do not like to think this, much less admit it, but review Kenny Chesney’s catalog of the last 30 years. Brome was not built in a day.
March 12, 2024 @ 7:21 pm
How could you forget to dishonorable mention “Brown Chicken, Brown Cow”? Showing how even an established artist could get drawn into the Bro-country cesspool. It was as an un-“Happy Like” era!
March 7, 2024 @ 4:44 pm
Much like Shania’s “Liar”, the you tube comments almost universally praise this drivel. Is the BK camp removing all negative posts? You bet your boots.
March 12, 2024 @ 3:43 pm
Access media. Let’s talk Marvel Phase 5. Same thing.
March 7, 2024 @ 5:29 pm
….”while Brian Kelley fell for every single conspiratorial canard being shared on fringe cable news, causing irreparable friction between the two. They truly are the Tweedledee and Tweedledum of the political binary, illustrating bumbling Americans succumbing to propaganda.”….
It could not be more on brand for you to include that line just so you can feel you criticized both sides equally, despite the fact that nearly every single thing about Covidstan that the media apparatchiks called a conspiracy theory is now established fact.
Tweedledum is in your mirror, dawg. The left is evil, but at least they know what they believe in and fight for it.
March 7, 2024 @ 5:47 pm
We’re not going to get into a political discussion here. But what I was referencing when it comes to Brian Kelley and conspiracy theories has nothing to do with Covid. At one point Kelley and his wife seemingly elevated the Wayfair child-trafficking conspiracy theory that was tied to Q-Anon, which basically believed the furniture company was trafficking children and has been credibly debunked. I’m not say all child trafficking claims are conspiracy theories. That one was, and that is what I was referencing.
March 7, 2024 @ 8:55 pm
Trigger gets to make political comments, but he won’t allow commenters to do so. I’m done visiting this site. I 100% mean that. Trigger won’t miss me and will likely celebrate my leaving but I’m done having my comments censored. It happened on some recent articles. Trigger can’t seem to handle anyone else dropping edgy humor because this site is his sole effort to (unsuccesfully) drive aspiring female country artists to his crotch-ular region.
March 7, 2024 @ 9:18 pm
Honky’s comment wasn’t censored. I made a request that we not get into divisive political discussion in this comments section, and then answered his accusation. Nobody’s comment has been deleted in this comments section. Comments are very rarely deleted. But when I think it’s a matter of heath or personal safety, I will delete a comment.
Here is the comment you left on an article recently about 17-year-old performer:
“I never root for artists to get back on the “junk” but I’m making an exception here and hope this kid gets on the hard stuff like heroine or crack. Once he has a few public intoxication charges on a mini golf course I’ll be ready to listen to his music.”
People leave comments on this website like the artists themselves, their parents, their spouse or loved ones will never see them, often behind aliases. This came into sharp focus recently when Shannon, the wife of Blackberry Smoke drummer Brit Turner, had to come here less than 48 hours after her husband had died to answer accusations he’d died due to vaccines.
If you no longer don’t want to come to this site, so be it. But if I allow comments like the one you left to go through, I’ll lose more followers than I’ll gain by appeasing you.
It is not an easy job moderating comments. I’ve never said I’m perfect at it. But I do the best I can.
March 8, 2024 @ 12:19 am
A close family member of mine is a prominent person in the anti-Covid-vaccine movement, so I have attended anti-vaccine book signings and film premieres and conferences and presentations by leading figures with Skyhorse Publishing, CHD, the Highwire, etc. with her. [I’m open to hearing views that don’t gibe with my own, and the people I’ve met there strike me as totally sincere and well meaning.]
The common view espoused in the movement is that the Global Elite, led by WHO, the World Economic Forum, Klaus Schwab, Bill Gates and others who keep low profiles are intent on reducing world population from 8 billion-plus to fewer than 500 million; that the Covid vaccine is a bioweapon whose INTENDED PURPOSE is to kill the people who take it; that college athletes and others in that age group who were vaccinated have been “dropping like flies;” and that others who’ve been vaccinated will meet that fate in the year ahead.
If “nearly every single thing” that the leading lights of the anti-vaccine movement have said about Covid, that “that the media apparatchiks called a conspiracy theory is now established fact,” then I probably won’t make it through this year and you’ll get to say “I told you so” on my grave–at least virtually, or in spirit.
March 8, 2024 @ 6:59 am
Interesting.
Two of my family members were forced to take the jab for their jobs.
The WEF is a nasty pick of work.
March 8, 2024 @ 6:58 am
Don’t leave, Strait.
Your insight is needed here.
March 8, 2024 @ 8:16 am
Going to disagree with you, Strait.
Trigger has never disallowed a single political point I have made in response to his articles or replies to replies, even as I publicly accuse him of pandering. He may not always agree with me and oftentimes has a hot retort, which I appreciate because it shows his passion for this, but he never, EVER one time disallowed my posts.
Disagree =/= disallowed.
I have nothing but respect for Trigger, honestly. Again, we may disagree on things but we are both adults and can understand that we can have a difference of opinion without being petty toward one another.
March 8, 2024 @ 9:42 am
I’m going to weigh in here. as a sometimes divisive contributor myself.
I don’t personally know Trig’s political leanings, but i can say that Trig and i disagree, often extremely, about certain things and ideas in the country music space.
But even though trig disagrees with and sometimes openly rejects my opinions (see: maddie and tae ‘girl in a country song’) he not only declines to censor them, but encourages the discussion because what makes SCM unique in the music coverage world is that there’s lots of different opinions all coming together to share their input, hopefully to the growth of all.
For instance, a maligned former commenter that to my knowledge no longer interacts with SCM turned me on to several often overlooked classic country singers that I decided i was quite in enjoyment of, and Im sure some of my reccomendations in these comments have sent open minded readers to new albums and experiences also.
In fact, from what I’ve observed, disagreement is not only tolerated but encouraged, excepting cases when the discussion contributes nothing at all towards the topic of the article itself, as evidenced by some ‘political tangents’
March 8, 2024 @ 10:12 am
Nail right on the head, Fuzzy TwoShirts.
I agree with you as this is also my experience.
March 8, 2024 @ 11:42 am
Bye, Felicia.
March 11, 2024 @ 8:26 pm
Bye lil B. You will be missed by no one. I’m sure you’ll check back to see if anyone commented to your pouty drivel.
March 7, 2024 @ 7:07 pm
Just what the world needs more of.
People hating on each other.
March 7, 2024 @ 7:35 pm
I agree; but sadly, hate is what attracts eyeballs these days.
March 8, 2024 @ 5:52 am
It’s humor, Di. It’s this thing where we laugh and have a good time teasing someone for doing or making something stupid and terrible, you should try it.
Haven’t you been reading this site for a while? What do you expect?
March 12, 2024 @ 8:01 pm
How boring the world would be with only “love”….
March 7, 2024 @ 7:52 pm
Let’s be honest: with some of the nondescript lyrics pointed out here already including Hank and Jack……..in isolation this wasn’t about Tyler Hubbard at all.
But Kelley’s promo/marketing team, especially after an underwhelming chart run with “See You Next Summer”, cynically concluded the only way they could possibly drum up attention and hype for his direct follow-up……………..was via a “bad blood” marketing angle. So that’s why “Kiss My Boots” was selected as the new single.
It’s beyond cynical, desperate and gross, but at the same time who can blame them? Nothing else was going to draw attention to Kelley’s release. It is what it is! (exasperated shrug) And that’s also precisely why Kelley is being coy in its promotional rollout and not just flat-out confirming it’s about Hubbard: because he and his promotional team are banking on that curiosity to keep it viable over a longer duration of time. I don’t think it will work, but again: can’t say I blame them for this desperation tactic.
March 7, 2024 @ 9:03 pm
This song could be interpreted in many ways.
Maybe he’s singing about an ex girlfriend? From a 3rd person narrative.
Mitchel TenPenny had a song last year that was similar.
T Hubbs isn’t referenced at all
March 7, 2024 @ 10:09 pm
Hilarious! I loved reading this and laughing. I can’t name one song they have recorded. I have ignored and evaded country radio since the 2010s.
March 8, 2024 @ 5:58 am
Pathetic. Weak. Lame…..few words that come to mind. You know the guys voice is really not bad, but geez this is so petty. It would have been cool if he really was a man about it confronting his old buddy. Secret message through break up song is pretty cowardly. This dude so wealthy from being a sidekick….. kind of pisses me off.
March 8, 2024 @ 5:59 am
What a WEIRD video. Should we call someone to check on this guy? I’m concerned.
Brian, put the blade down. The snake people aren’t real.
March 8, 2024 @ 7:01 am
—> Gone are they days when these two were rubbing their taints together, and writing terrible tractor rap songs with seven other assholes that would get stuck at the top of the country charts for 17 weeks. <—
This is just amazing. Slow, standing clap.
March 8, 2024 @ 7:12 am
Bro?
Why Bro?
Bro?
Fuck you Bro.
Despite the hope that the bro spat will forever silence the garbage known as FGL, I have the a feeling they brogive each other when the millions begin to dry up. I love you bro. lol
March 8, 2024 @ 7:23 am
The video is even more stupid and lughable than the song!! That scene with the knife!! That’s why people hate “country” music.
March 8, 2024 @ 8:07 am
And to be honest, they helped to do (because they weren’t the only ones that did so, they were just arguably the most out there) a lot of damage to the genre.
If this is the start of a war between these two chuckle heads, it is a war that I hope both sides will lose. The country music genre would be a hell of a lot better off for it (IMHO).
March 8, 2024 @ 8:16 am
…being a bidet at mar-a-lago – don’t wanna imagine what that indian person did in the previous life.
March 8, 2024 @ 10:56 am
i thought there weren’t any bidets in the U.S.A. shocked!!
March 8, 2024 @ 8:18 am
Thank you. This is one of the most entertaining pieces you’ve written. I have heard of FGL, but if I have ever heard the band, I guess I have no reason to remember anything so forgettable. But if FGL inspired this pointed, hilarious rant, I guess it was worth something.
March 8, 2024 @ 8:49 am
Trigger, I enjoy your rants. Ignore the haters.
March 8, 2024 @ 9:07 am
Well, one unintended consequence is that maybe he gives a bit of relevance to Kix Brooks comparitevly speaking.
March 8, 2024 @ 9:28 am
OK, the song is bad, but how does a grown person make that video? So I guess he’s the snake guy, and he gets a call that a snake has been spotted in the middle of the woods. And so he heads out there to track it down, mostly by sticking his face into every hole and dark crevice. And then whoa lucky! Snake appears. Giant timber rattler so as one does when approaching a giant timber rattler he gets down on all fours and again pokes his face at it, I guess trying to scare it? And then we’re led to assume kills it with some knife skills. It’s like a Napoleon Dynamite daydream. Seriously WTF?
March 8, 2024 @ 10:03 am
its patently obvious that the end goal here is to get people to assume it’s about TH in a way that is both non-proveable, but also totally inoccuous.
This way people will scour it for clues, flock to social media to look for youtubers going over it like matpat going over a fnaf trailer, following both TH and BK looking for vague posts that can be interpreted as responses, and all of this essentially free publicity without anyone actually stopping and breaking the cycle by concluding the song sucks at any interpretation.
Frankly, the whole ‘drama’ between these two is pretty small, but in this world of social media addiction, even the small act of unfollowing someone on twitter is hilariously ‘micro-aggressive’ and gets lots of phone-addicted people of the limited critical thinking and live in the moment behaviors drawn into it like blood attracts sharks.
Peter Griffin and Glenn Quagmire breaking up was more genuine and less ‘much ado about nothing’ than TH and BK allegedly breaking up over political positions.
and while genuine differences between people are and can be serious (i recently fell out with a close friend over a big misunderstanding) these two obviously don’t come from households were genuine communication is prioritized, as evidenced by both of them having limited vocabularies and a clear lack of introspective skills, and their interviews demonstrate a very face value level of thinking. The underlying conclusion is that this ‘difference’ between them is less serious than the inevitable inability of one or either party to have a civil discussion without it being escalated by the inability to differentiate discussion from arguments or attacks.
Frankly, it all seems juvenile.
unfortunately for either party, the fact that they are now a pop culture laughing stock and a meme that is hip to knock on, neither individual is likely to do well as a soloist despite any future merit of their works.
And this is sad.
Even though i personally doubt either one will write anything super profound or relevant in the modern country era, if they did, it deserves to be appreciated for what it is without the caveat of who its from holding it back.
March 8, 2024 @ 12:57 pm
What?!?! A guy whose entire career has been about shitty music is out here making shitty music?!
March 8, 2024 @ 2:57 pm
I now feel bad for the snake..
It was probably forced to hear this whiny singing autotuned toad.
Country and all music would be better off if autotune was banned .
March 8, 2024 @ 3:57 pm
FGL may suck,but I LOVE Beavis and Butthead !!!!!!!( At age seventy !!!!!!!)
March 8, 2024 @ 4:02 pm
Bonds,Clemens,McGwire,Sosa,Palmeiro and lots of other PEDs papas were at least GREAT.FGL is like the just-retired MLC catcher Mike Zunino,.199 hitters.
March 8, 2024 @ 5:17 pm
Just retired MLB catcher Mike Zunino,who had a .199 career BA.
March 8, 2024 @ 5:36 pm
The FGL reunion is inevitable when the Bro Country Cruises start in 10-15 years or so.
March 8, 2024 @ 5:55 pm
Probably much sooner than that.
Ronnie Dunn is recognized as a virtuoso singer and after doing all the heavy lifting for Brooks & Dunn for 20-plus years, decided that he should be on his own.
Only problem, was, he found out that there’s no demand for arena or high-end hotel-casino concerts featurning “Ronnie Dunn.” So he got back with Dunn pretty quickly.
Similar thing happened (on a smaller scale) with Raul Malo and the Mavericks.
I’d bet the same is in store for the FGL boys.
March 8, 2024 @ 8:14 pm
Lucky,
It was the changing of the guard. Brooks was not the lynchpin believe me. Though I understand what you are saying. I think it was B&D plateauing like all entertainers eventually do. Then the good ones move to a legacy act. They are deserved of that by the way.
March 8, 2024 @ 6:45 pm
Bro-Country cruises ? I likely will be on the Pearly Gates Ranch when the handsome cowbros have their cruises.
March 8, 2024 @ 11:18 pm
Hell itself is probably a Bro Country Cruise.
March 9, 2024 @ 5:57 am
“He hung on to the nut sack of Tyler Hubbard to stardom, standing there making millions as his entirely disposable harmony vocals were run through an Auto-Tuner before being buried imperceptibly in the mix.”
Fucking roasted
March 9, 2024 @ 11:13 am
I’m confused, is he talking about Hank Cochrane or Hank Snow?
March 9, 2024 @ 11:32 am
Clearly he’s talking about Hank Early, the steel guitar player for the Turnpike Troubadours.
March 9, 2024 @ 1:12 pm
Why the crude language?
March 9, 2024 @ 3:15 pm
Because it’s a rant, and it’s purposely ridiculous and over-the-top. There was a language warning on the article.
March 9, 2024 @ 1:44 pm
A cruise with fugly folk,Cooler Brown.
March 9, 2024 @ 1:45 pm
Are white boy raps like black boy Country ?
March 9, 2024 @ 4:23 pm
I’ve missed the snarky Trigger, so thank you! I thought this kind of thing only happened in hip-hop.
Possible idea for a future post: Are there any -good- songs in the country music canon that were believed to diss other songs/performers?
March 10, 2024 @ 1:29 pm
Interesting idea!
March 9, 2024 @ 6:23 pm
I wouldn’t know either of these guys if I was pissing on them and have no intentions of listening to the song. But this article was a hysterical read! Thanks I needed a good laugh.
March 9, 2024 @ 10:12 pm
I am assuming the score of 1 is because it was at least “enjoyable” as a self-own.
March 10, 2024 @ 5:05 am
…and yet, still less annoying than Jason Isbell and his hooker fiddle player.
March 10, 2024 @ 8:19 am
Somebody didn’t get the memo…
March 11, 2024 @ 3:18 pm
The song wasn’t that great but I’ve heard worse being applauded on here. I agree that he was carried by Tyler though. Of course your hate for fgl is totally absurd. Just move on. Sure their music was never classic country but a lot of well liked country artist have made a good living singing music that doesn’t sound like classic country even when classic country was present country.
March 12, 2024 @ 8:38 am
I’m 5’9″,Jimmy the Black .(I’m African-Canadian/American.Does that make me Brady the Black ?)
March 12, 2024 @ 9:12 am
When I was growing up in the 70s, and 80s, I didn’t like country music. It sounded dreary and wailing to me. When 90s country came out, I was in high school, I loved it and I listened to country, rap, and pop.
When the songs by FGL, Thomas Rett, Luke Bryan, Jadon Aldean, Blake Shelton, Sam Hunt, etc. I was in my mid to late 30s. I thought they were really cool because they combined two (or three if you consider the pop element) genres from ‘my time’ or my high school & young twenty-year-old days.
For a sweet moment in time the bro country songs were fun. Eventually I got tired of songs about trucks, beer, tailgate romancing, and the cliche phrases copied from one song to the next, one artist to the next.
For me it’s the feeling Brantley Gilbert’s Bottoms Up envokes, FGLs Cruise, Jason Aldean’s Dirt Road Anthem, and Luke Bryan’s That’s My Kinda Night. Nostalgia from high school expressed and mixed with lyrics and beats encompassing the myriad of genres I enjoyed.
March 12, 2024 @ 3:49 pm
Where IS Confederate Railroad today ? They were a guilty pleasure,for obvious reasons.
March 12, 2024 @ 7:37 pm
“…..These dudes are the reason people now think it’s okay to call Beyonce “country.”….”
Thanks evil devil spawn FGL for normalizing this trend. 808s, suto-tune have not only been adopted as “country” by the foreign owned conglomerates and the idiot Bro’s – now the outrageously privileged billionaires as well.
How will we be rid of it – firstly by ignoring this shallow, last ditch effort at salvaging fame(eew).
March 16, 2024 @ 3:22 am
When they eventually reconcile, I SO hope it’s in gay porn.
August 30, 2024 @ 8:10 pm
I’ve heard better songwriting from 10th graders. Does anyone from Maryland want to be my partner in the mason dixon line?
February 25, 2025 @ 6:02 pm
LOL, what a miserable life the author of this page lives… you literally cry in all of your posts about your buzz / trigger words. Anything you don’t like is “bro-country”. Genres change over time, it happens in every genre (yes, it does). Not saying new is better than old, just a fact. Go get laid, dude. Guessing the last time a woman touched you was “back when music was real” and “before bro country” aka 1975.
April 10, 2025 @ 2:45 pm
Does that mean Bri and Ty (‘Bri and Ty”?????? SWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) COMBINED have a room temperature IQ ?