Luke Bryan almost never writes his own songs, because of course he sucks at it. But for some godforsaken reason, he decides to take a stab at it here, yet inadvertently bullseyes his own juggler.
“Country Nowadays” does NOT represent actual country music these days at all. It represents one man’s over-ripened perspective as he overextends himself by feverishly grasping for attention for his dying career.
It’s the ever-present shame of actual country music fans out there who must witness what passes for “country music” in the minds of corporate stooges when it’s featured on a national stage.
Now it’s time to give the WORST offerings in “country” music their fair due. And no, we’re not holding back our feelings at all. We’re rearing back and letting ’em have it.
You crave hearing a new song from Dan + Shay like you crave hearing Christmas music before Halloween. The emasculated tones, the aggressive use of AutoTune, the entirely soul-bereft delivery…
Lo and behold, as elite media is praising BigXthaPlug to the hilt because they hate country and country fans, this dude is locked in the slammer once again on the day of his album release.
Though 2025 continues to see the rise in popularity of more country-sounding songs, this parallels a dramatic rise in really really bad straight up pop and hip-hop tracks being inexplicably pushed to the country market.
When you thought Morgan Wallen couldn’t outdo himself any more in insulting huge swaths of the American population after moronically shouting the ‘N’ word into the cold Nashville night, he comes in heavy.
Imagine using the most advanced surgical procedures to meticulously isolate and extract the very kernel essence of what made performers like Sam Hunt and Florida Georgia Line so sinister and cringe
Better him than me. About the only reason you’d ever see this lil’ buckaroo anywhere near Jason Aldean’s monstrosity on Lower Broadway in Nashville is if was involved losing a bet. That’s basically the reason one Fantasy Footballer.
We’ve run down the Song of the Year nominees, the Single of the Year nominees, as well as the Album of the Year nominees for 2024. Now it’s time to give the WORST offerings in “country” music their fair due.
After a 30-second taste, I determined I’d rather ingest an Almond Joy laced with a razor blade, or put out a flaming bag of poo on my front porch in a brand new pair of $1,800 Lucchese boots than be subjected to this song.
If you’ve ever wondered who those zombies are whose idea of a good time is to frequent Lower Broadway and spend five hours hopping between corporate bars, this song is exclusively for them.
I saw Jason Aldean perform on the 2024 CMT Awards, and now I’m a RACIST! Aldean performed in front of the 27-story University of Texas Tower in Austin, and murdered it harder than Charles Joseph Whitman.
To add the mother of all insults to injury, for the video for his new song, Sam Hunt casts himself in the role of Johnny Cash from the iconic San Quentin prison performance from 1969. What hubris.
Brian Kelley, take your damn millions, and enjoy the rest of your life playing the county fair circuit like a man. Because if you think this Bro-Country mess is due for a resurgence in 2024, I’ve got some Sam Hunt stock to sell you.
Perhaps there’s never been an individual inhabiting the Earth that has felt more safe and happy in the enveloping arms of corporate America while suckling off the industry teat of high fructose corn syrup than Walker Hayes.
We’ve run down some of the best songs and the best singles in country music in 2023. Now it’s time to dredge up the worst of the worst, which in 2023 sees multiple songs attempting to rework older songs.
It should be of no surprise to anyone that as we check in on the bulbous, puss-filled malignant growth that is Dustin Lynch’s pop country career that it’s in need of laceration, draining, and intense radiation.
The horror on this poor woman’s face says it all. What could cause this reaction? Let’s look at some of the worst case scenarios in country music.
We need another country music awards show like we need another natural disaster. In fact, I’m half certain it’s because humanity is so busied by meaningless baubles like redundant country music awards shows that God has forsaken us.
So Jake Owen is still a thing, huh? I thought he’d be managing a Chipotle in Murfreesboro at this point. But the summer drunk song season is here, and so the perennially tan one is back to drop another deuce.
This weekend, Police and Fire personnel had large swaths of downtown Austin cordoned off due to a mass casualty/hazardous exposure event, also known as the CMT Awards. The barriers and checkpoints weren’t there to keep freeloaders out, it was to keep the grotesque infection of pop country quarantined.
Not only does Will Thompson’s “Checklist” perfectly parody problematic country music found on the radio, it also maligns a lot of the other elements that accompany these kinds of songs, like rap cadences, the rising radio chorus, and Auto-Tuned vocal signals. He’s pretty merciless and thorough.