Hilarious Craigslist Ad Seeks Major Label Talent in Nashville
Whether the author is some major label lackey with a rabid lack of self-awareness, or some huckster looking to lampoon the current state of country music, an ad posted on the Nashville subset of Craigslist has been causing a stir and putting people in stitches after being posted Tuesday night (3-24). Professing to be a major label looking for a new star, the ad hits on nearly all the bullet points of what is bad about modern mainstream country music.
“Major Nashville Record Label seeks Male Recording Artist aged 21-27. Not interested in female acts,” the ad starts out, and is just savvy enough throughout to be somewhat believable. “Be at least 5’8 tall, have straight white teeth and at least rudimentary knowledge of basic guitar chords. Preferable if you’re new to town, haven’t played out very much and aren’t working with a Manager. Want to work with clean slate. Have every song needed for first album on hold.”
The track list is pretty hilarious too, citing “Hank It Up” and “Damn Girl (The Thigh Gap Song)” as some of the cuts on hold.
What’s even more fun to ponder is the suckers who will respond to such a thing thinking it’s legit, and how they could be screwed with once they do. But what makes the whole ruse so excellent, just like with all good humor, is how much based in truth it is. Unless of course, it’s real.
March 25, 2015 @ 5:26 pm
The ad is funny, but its potential consequences concern me. There are many desperate aspiring artists in Nashville, and it would be quite sad if they are lulled into a sense of false hope.
March 25, 2015 @ 6:13 pm
You mean, exactly like Music Row does to dozens every day? I think that’s part of the genius in the commentary.
March 25, 2015 @ 6:38 pm
If someone is too stupid to figure this out then they are prime candidates for the country music Darwin Awards.
March 25, 2015 @ 5:27 pm
I heard Chase Rice had ‘Damn Girl (The Thigh Gap Song)’ on hold for his next album. Gonna wanna raise some hell over that.
March 25, 2015 @ 5:36 pm
This seems like it has Trailer from Farce The Music written all over it
March 26, 2015 @ 5:46 am
This was posted on FTM Wednesday morning.
March 25, 2015 @ 6:28 pm
“Meemaw’s Nanner Puddin” . That might chart.
March 25, 2015 @ 6:36 pm
I don’t even want to know what ‘Rural Route 69’ is about.
March 25, 2015 @ 6:50 pm
LMAO this made my day!!!!!!
I completely lost it when I got to “Skeeter Bite” on the list. The song list is laughable because it’s so true.
March 25, 2015 @ 6:53 pm
😀 Thanks for the chuckle, Trig. I would think a title like “Straight Outta Jerkwater” would be a dead giveaway for satire, but you never know…
March 25, 2015 @ 7:44 pm
Nice! 😀
March 25, 2015 @ 7:46 pm
Anyone who thinks a tracklist which contains song titles like “Rural Route 69” and “Meemaw’s Nanner Puddin'” is real is really gullible.
March 25, 2015 @ 7:48 pm
Brilliant ….omg … it was only a matter of time , I guess .
Damn… this is CRYING funny ! …..
March 25, 2015 @ 8:58 pm
“Beer in a Duck Blind” will go straight to radio. After all, it’s a drinking song. 😉
March 25, 2015 @ 10:12 pm
New Country Rules
It’s country if…
Radio says it is.
Any label says it is.
Any blog or website says it is.
Sam Hunt says it is.
Taylor Swift says it is.
Plies says it is.
Lil Wayne says it is.
P Diddy says it is.
Insane Clown Posse says it is.
A hood rat says it is.
Ozzy says it is.
“The man on the moon” in every other bro-country song says it is.
A man sings it.
A man wearing a ball cap sings it.
A man with giant arm tattoos sings it.
An ex-baller sings it.
“Gonna” or “wanna” is in the title.
Sings to a “girl.”
Tells a “girl” what to do.
The music is 100% synthesized pop.
The vocal is 500% auto-tuned.
March 26, 2015 @ 5:59 am
Nice! One question though: is an “ex-baller” a former athlete, or is it a man who has been gelded? Judging by some current country videos I’m inclined to think it’s the latter. 😉
March 30, 2015 @ 4:04 pm
What if Abbath, Gaahl, Caligula, Nachtgarm, Dead, or Euronymous say it is??
March 30, 2015 @ 4:06 pm
Or for that matter, George Fisher, Ross Dolan from Immolation, or Seth Putnam from A.C. say it is?
March 26, 2015 @ 2:46 am
Unfortunately, the track listing in the ad just gave a bunch of songwriters some prime ideas. We’ll see if five or six of them can co-write “Straight Outta Jerkwater” for real.
March 26, 2015 @ 8:41 am
I’m actually surprised there hasn’t been a song in the past five years called “Hank It Up.” That has Tyler Farr written all over it.
March 26, 2015 @ 6:03 am
Not sure why the ad would call for a knowledge of guitar chords; in a bro-country video aren’t you supposed to just gyrate around like a bad rap singer in tight jeans? Seems a guitar would just get in the way…
March 26, 2015 @ 10:12 am
Don’t forget that you also need to throw faux gang signs with your hands while you’re gyrating. The coordination required to do both at the same time has, fortunately, weeded out some of the really bad bros.
March 26, 2015 @ 7:07 am
Oh Lord… this is hilarious. If this somehow goes viral it would be funny if it was brought up in interviews. Most would claim ignorance, Jason Aldean would get mad and FGL would probably say something along the lines of “there isn’t anyone who wouldn’t want to be a country music star and sing about that type of stuff like we do.”
March 27, 2015 @ 7:53 am
Reminds of the Gary Floater bit. Was there ever a review of A Hero Never Learns?
March 29, 2015 @ 11:43 pm
I wanted to vomit when I read “Meemaw’s Nanner Puddin'”. That’s the cheese st thing I’ve ever seen before.