I Wrote an Article About 90’s Glam Metal Duo Nelson. You Can Probably Guess Where This Goes
Come on in boys, the water’s fine!
Is it wrong that every time I think about brothers Matthew and Gunnar, known collectively as the 90’s glam metal raid-your-sisters-closet bubblegum rock band Nelson, I think of a pair of overly affectionate and mostly albino Afghan hounds falling asleep with their heads on each others shoulders? I’m talking about the lanky and long-haired dog breed that I have conveniently provided a picture of on your right.
Yes, I’m probably what’s wrong with America.
Not that I’ve had much reason to think about Nelson since they struck the one hit wonder pose in 1990 and got spit out of the ass end of Geffen like a hairball shortly thereafter. But even when I was just a pubescent little 13-year-old listening to them on some shitty rock station I thought someone needed to take some coarse sandpaper and rough these dudes up. It’s not that time hasn’t been kind to Nelson. Even in 1990 these guys were the butt of zeitgeist jokes.
I mean of course Nelson is making a fucking country record, right? That is about the exact thing I would expect a band like Nelson to do in 2015. It would be more surprising if Nelson didn’t make a country record, and the only real question is, what in the hell took them so damn long?
Here’s a stupid quote from them:
“We’ve experienced the same kind of bias our father always had to overcome,” Gunnar Nelson told Rolling Stone Country. Their father was actor and singer Ricky Nelson apparently. “He was always a guy who, by the critical press, was treated guilty until proven innocent. He always had to fight for respect. He’d be in crowds of 10,000 people but only paying attention to the one critic flipping him the bird.”
Oh I’m sorry, were you saying something? I was too busy vehemently flipping the bird at the idea that FREAKING NELSON IS MAKING A COUNTRY RECORD!!
If we’re going to talk about respect, how about respecting country music?
Oh but you haven’t even heard the best part of this yet ladies and gentlemen. If you think it’s funny/sick enough that Nelson is “going country” in the first place, wait until you hear how they are planning to go country. I feel bad for the folks that ducked out halfway through this article because they’re going to miss the best part.
What is the vehicle 80’s glam metal band Nelson is going to use to ingratiate themselves to the country music community? How are they going to win over skeptics and garden variety fans alike? How will they bust through the acidic rhetoric from sites like Saving Country Music to ascend to country music stardom?
Wait for it. Wait for it . . .
They’re make a double LP of country Christmas songs!
Can’t make this dumb shit up people.
Apparently Nelson also made a country record at some point in the mid-late 90’s for Warner, but it never saw the light of day because the duo quickly got dropped. “Nobody would think it was real, so we’re dropping you,” is what they were told.
Apparently now we’ve reached to point where people will be believe anything.
July 27, 2015 @ 8:47 am
I would say that this is a remarkably cynical move, if the concept of cynicism meant anything in country music anymore.
July 27, 2015 @ 8:49 am
I thought this was one of your fake articles, but then I noticed the band was real and the Rolling Stone Country link was real.
Do rock bands gone country even make money for this thing to be a fad? I mean, we haven’t even really seen Steven Tyler’s album out yet….what is driving this push other than “Hey, X is doing that…..it would totally be cool if we did too.”
July 27, 2015 @ 8:52 am
The commercial viability of some of these moves is very dubious. The reason a band like Nelson became a laughing stock is because they came in at the very tail end of a fad that was already dying , and did it in a really cheesy way. So this move seems about par for the course for them. My feeling is this won’t go anywhere.
July 27, 2015 @ 11:00 am
Heh, to be fair, Trigger, let’s see a photo of your 13-year old pubescent self and talk about how unlikely it is that you would be where you are today based on what you were then. Come on, the photo of Nelson is from over 20 years ago! They are accomplished musicians and singers by any account, and if they want to make a country Christmas album, I’d sooner give them a pass than Kid Rock or Steven Tyler. No songs about beer, pickup trucks or fishing, that’s a good start.
July 27, 2015 @ 11:43 am
I don’t have any digitized, but trust me, I was a lady killer.
Look, for all we know, Nelson Country may be the next coming of Hank Williams. Who knows? And I think I’ve proven over the years with folks like Steven Tyler and Jamie Lin Spears and others that I’m willing to give them a fair shake. But with the onslaught of 80’s and 90’s washout bands making country records, I think we should all be able to see the irony and humor in all of this. But apparently, I have exposed a huge demo of Nelson apologists with my post. Who knew?
July 27, 2015 @ 3:49 pm
Let’s hope they’re doing it again~ coming “…in at the very tail end of a fad that’s already dying…”
After all~ how many more of these kinds of things can you write?
July 27, 2015 @ 1:41 pm
What you idiots don’t seem to realize is that ROCKERS can drop their talents down to make a COUNTRY record because, quite frankly, country music is much EASIER to perform than a good ROCK song. I’ve yet to see a COUNTRY guy go ROCK and be successful…although there are a TON of “country” acts who try to BE all rockin’ and such…and look like bigger sissies than even the hairiest of the hair bands could possibly touch.
July 27, 2015 @ 1:51 pm
Rock on Rockin’ Mike.
I agree with you country guys trying to rock look like sissies most of the time.
Rock.
July 27, 2015 @ 2:05 pm
Most rockers could never sing a country song at a competent level (by the traditional standards of country music). In general, rockers simply lack the vocal texture needed for country. This is especially true of hard rock singers.
July 27, 2015 @ 2:08 pm
Wait… there’s hard rock SINGERS? And here I thought all they did was scream and shoot heroin.
July 27, 2015 @ 3:02 pm
Har. Where’s the like button when you want it?
July 27, 2015 @ 2:07 pm
Ah, yes: the veritable ROCK fan who thinks his music is superior to all others because of screeching guitars. Given your dismissive attitude towards COUNTRY, one assumes you have little to no respect or fondness for the format. How, then, would you be at all qualified to tell anyone whether any “COUNTRY” songs made by any has-been ROCK act is any good? I’ve yet to see a ROCK guy go COUNTRY and do anything but embarrass the whole genre, their legacy and all of us who actually like real COUNTRY music.
It might do you good to look around this website before leaving another comment. We openly bash all of these newer COUNTRY “artists” because their rock, rap, hip hop and electronic influences have little to nothing to do with the music we like. The closest we get to endorsing COUNTRY ROCK around here is Alabama and Dwight Yoakham, and they aren’t trying to be Van Halen. While we’re on the subject of comparisons, however, let’s not forget to point out that COUNTRY has a far lengthier and richer history than rock, stretching well into the 1700s. It also involves something called good songwriting to involve the audience instead of just machismo and distortion, impressive or not.
July 29, 2015 @ 2:26 am
Uh, Conway Twitty, Johnny Cash, Waylon Jennings. Any one what to add some more rockers gone country. (Johnny Cash doesn’t really count cause he never changed his sound. They just changed the label they gave him.)
July 29, 2015 @ 8:35 am
The key difference between these performers and Nelson, Steven Tyler, Bret Michaels or any of these other guys, is that Twitty, Cash and Jennings all called country home. They weren’t just hopping in to make a quick buck because their fortunes had slid elsewhere. If Nelson or Poison were still popular, they wouldn’t even dream of making a “country” record. It’s also important to note the difference in styles: Waylon played with Buddy Holly as a guitarist, but his debut solo album was Waylon at JD’s, a country record as I recall. Twitty’s debut record was also country. However, he also dabbled in a style called rockabilly along with Johnny Cash, which is equal parts rock & roll and country. Cash’s music being re-branded isn’t the same thing as hair metal has-beens bruising their way into a different genre, trying to save face by claiming that they were raised on country music, and then playing the same crap they always have. Plus, the key reason that Cash’s music was re-branded is because he identified with country music and considered himself a part of the genre, not because his career needed a boost. His sound is so bare, however, that many other genres love to try to claim him as their own (such as rock & roll).
July 27, 2015 @ 4:22 pm
If it was so freakin’ easy, why did Steven Tyler and Bret Michaels suck so bad at it?
July 27, 2015 @ 8:53 am
yeah I knew they were Rickys sons. I get enough Christmas music a year to overlook it.
July 27, 2015 @ 8:56 am
‘. . .same kind of bias our father always had to overcome.’
That bias being, ‘Hey, I’m not a nerdy, vapid child TV star. Listen to my cool music!’
There is evidently an overwhelming genetic predisposition for this type of bland, milquetoast shit in the Nelson family.
(And yes, I only used milquetoast in response to the use of zeitgeist .)
(Drink. Oh shit, drink again!)
July 27, 2015 @ 8:59 am
I think Ricky Nelson was underrated. Hello Mary Lou is a great song. So is Garden Party and a number of his other tunes.
July 27, 2015 @ 9:19 am
Trigger,
How in the heck do you not know who Ricky Nelson is? Jeez, that’s about as bad as not knowing who Vern Gosdin is. Are you serious?
July 27, 2015 @ 9:45 am
Jeez, nail me to the cross. It’s sarcasm people. I took it out just to avoid any confusion.
July 27, 2015 @ 9:50 am
Hahahahah!!!!!
July 27, 2015 @ 2:56 pm
Pffft lol
July 27, 2015 @ 11:11 am
I’m sorry Trigger, but my first thought was exactly what Clint said. 😉
July 27, 2015 @ 11:51 am
What I was trying to illustrate is that it’s ridiculous to think that the modern country music fan is going to know who Ricky Nelson is, and then would use use that knowledge to endear themselves to the idea of Nelson making a country record in 2015. Most modern country fans barely know who George Strait is. The whole premise of this entire thing is ludicrous. A double Christmas LP? But apparently Ricky Nelson has built up enough good will that it spills over to shield his offspring, despite their ridiculous early 90’s bit, and the fact that they’re carpetbagging in the country realm. I guess my bit has become stale.
July 27, 2015 @ 12:49 pm
I mentioned Alan Jackson & Garth Brooks in a conversation about country music once with young people (early to mid twenties) and one said something like, “Why do people always talk about dead guys like they are the greatest thing ever? They’re dead get over it.”
So I may as well have said Ricky Nelson and Duane Eddy. Or just made up a name.
I know it sounds insane but I’ve seen worse on Farce The Music.
July 27, 2015 @ 2:51 pm
Sorry Trigg. I honestly thought you didn’t know who he was. I guess sarcasm is sometimes hard to convey with a keyboard.
July 27, 2015 @ 2:58 pm
It was worded really poorly. I rarely edit stuff out like that, but I didn’t want it to become the topic of discussion.
July 27, 2015 @ 12:01 pm
I agree but their father is all they have to work with in the credibility department so you use what you’ve got I guess.
Of course this is ridiculous but these has-beens and never-was people are seeming to come up weekly in the country music news and after a while it’s hard to get the outrage machine up and whirring. It’s hard to live in a perpetual state of outrage at this stuff, or at least it is to me anyway.
Plus, the other thing that gets lost with these carpetbaggers, as you accurately call them, is that virtually all of them end up as flops if they even actually make any music and get beyond just talk.
The whole thing has become a joke like most of the mainstream wing of country music, sadly.
July 27, 2015 @ 7:11 pm
I only know him by name… Had an argument with my Father once about his life and death but then realized I was confusing him with Ricky Van Shelton. Or it could have been Ricky Martin… who knows… The only Ricky I truly stand behind is Skaggs.
July 27, 2015 @ 8:25 pm
No love for Ricky van Shelton? In my opinion he’s up there with some of the best country vocalists ever, and he’s still alive by the way.
July 27, 2015 @ 9:22 am
Rick Nelson was a great artist. What is milquetoast about having James Burton on guitar? Nelson doesn’t get enough credit for his role in the development of country-rock. He also recorded one of the best versions of “Summertime.” He went into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1987, back in the days when that museum always got it right. He is also rightfully in the Rockabilly Hall of Fame. People that knock his music have a hearing problem as those hit of his were great records. “Hello Mary Lou”/”Travelin’ Man” might be the best two-sider ever.
July 27, 2015 @ 11:10 am
‘Garden Party’ is a great record and the message of the song ‘Garden Party’ should not be forgotten by any big star with a hint of integrity.
‘if you can’t please everybody, you may as well please yourself’
If only we had more artists that took that philosophy to heart today. You can make snide comments about the Nelson twins all day but Rick Nelson is a very important figure in American music.
July 27, 2015 @ 11:47 am
I think you could even call Rick, the poor man’s Elvis.
July 27, 2015 @ 11:58 am
My knowledge of his music is somewhat cursory, but I know that both Bob Dylan and John Fogerty have a high opinion of him. The first time I ever heard “Hello, Mary Lou” was through CCR’s cover (that also goes for other CCR covers like My Baby Left Me, Ooby Dooby, The Night Time is the Right Time and Before You Accuse Me. So thank you, CCR) I remember Fogerty being interviewed about Ricky Nelson on one of those VH-1 list shows, I think. After singing his praises, he then said, “Oh, and did I mention? Great guitar.” (referring to James Burton). I do remember when Garden Party was on the radio. ’72, I think.
July 27, 2015 @ 9:22 am
I’m hiding anything sharp . I’d suggest you do the same ,Trigger .
July 27, 2015 @ 9:52 am
Got to add “What he said” to Jim McGuiness’ comment, especially about James Burton. One of my favorite concert moments was Emmylou Harris’ very first UK concert, she introduced The Hot Band, ending up with “And the man you’ve all really come see, James Burton on lead guitar.” Always admired her for realizing that because it was absolutely true, the whole audience was on its feet. Burton was a man who could pick and choose his gigs, so if he went with Rick Nelson, that was good enough for me and should be good enough for anyone. Of course, I had the advantage of never having seen Ozzie & Harriet.
July 27, 2015 @ 10:01 am
Oh boy! A remake of “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer”? Woo-hoo!
July 27, 2015 @ 10:36 am
Hi Trig!
Me thinks Nelson has acquired a new PR concern. Gunnar recently did a Celebrity Wife Swap … Vince Neil being the other celebrity “husband”.
Rick Nelson was one of my favorites; as handsome as Elvis and very talented.
P.S. I’m old.
xo galea
July 27, 2015 @ 10:36 am
My only problem with this Trigger is that you used the word metal and Nelson together.
July 27, 2015 @ 10:39 am
I can’t say exactly why, but Nelson always somehow reminded me of the band in the movie ‘The Lost Boys’:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmbt1RjPn4M
July 27, 2015 @ 10:40 am
Yeah, easy to make fun of them…but ever since I read this article, “(I Can’t Live Without Your) Love and Affection” has been going thru my head and won’t leave…
July 27, 2015 @ 10:51 am
Jesus.
July 27, 2015 @ 10:57 am
I’ve always thought doing a Christmas album is the best way to get mailbox money. No matter who plays the music, little old ladies and old men and Christmas-o-holics will buy the damn record. Seriously, think about it.
July 27, 2015 @ 11:04 am
Blake Shelton, is that you? https://savingcountrymusic.com/blake-shelton-calls-classic-country-fans-old-farts-jackasses
July 27, 2015 @ 11:24 am
Definitely not. Though I wouldn’t have minded sharing a bed with Miranda Lambert for a few years. 🙂
July 27, 2015 @ 12:26 pm
I shall also be producing a country album. I shall call this endeavor “Doom Country.” It will feature my invention, the Doom Guitar. It sounds vaguely like a steel guitar, but it has so many electronic enhancements that it makes the most horrible schreeching sound you could possibly imagine. It is a good crossover sound, for it entices those old farts who want to hear steel guitars, while also attracting those non country carpetbaggers by like sounding hell itself. Nobody wants to hear quality music, they want dumb shit that should not even be called music. To that end, I have also included rapping in “Doom Country.” But why have a human rap? That is what everyone else is doing, and I am not everyone else. It is obvious that humans are becoming obsolete anyway. My pantented Doombots will be performing the rapping parts, and my court jester will be doing his best Tyler Hubbard impression as the lead singer. This will be the top country album in history, and it will ensure my inevitable world domination!
July 27, 2015 @ 12:40 pm
I dub this Nelsongate.
July 27, 2015 @ 12:43 pm
Calling Nelson metal is like calling Luke Bryan country.
July 27, 2015 @ 2:05 pm
Glam metal is the verbiage they are using, or at least that was used in their Rolling Stone Country feature.
July 27, 2015 @ 1:41 pm
And how many copies can we expect this to sell? Five, to polite family members?
July 27, 2015 @ 1:58 pm
I’m really disappointed that these guys are the offspring of Ricky Nelson. He was a good singer and I loved him in Rio Bravo with John Wayne and Dean Martin.
July 27, 2015 @ 2:07 pm
On thing is for sure: Using their father’s legacy as a shield has certainly worked, at least in this comment thread.
July 27, 2015 @ 5:36 pm
listen, if Nashville thinks i need a double LP of Xmas music sung by the Nelson brothers, then who am i to argure? at least a tomato isn’t making it…
July 27, 2015 @ 5:53 pm
The CD should be titled “Call Us Caitlyn”.
This is some real gender bender stuff going on here.
July 27, 2015 @ 6:08 pm
One thing that I haven’t seen mentioned yet is how many rock or pop singers have actually done respectable country crossovers. Ray Charles comes to my mind. Better yet, Conway Twitty, who was originally marketed as a rock and roll singer.
July 27, 2015 @ 7:55 pm
Ha ha ha! Afghan hounds! Exactly! Do you think they argued about which one would get to wear the bangs? That look is “blue steel” if I’ve ever seen it. The line between reality and Zoolander is blurry at best.
July 27, 2015 @ 10:01 pm
i forecast that this won’t quite break the billboard top 800, it will stall out somewhere around #830 or so on the charts, but it will probably sell a respectable two dozen copies ( counting digital downloads and Nelsons grandmother) that is my prediction.
July 28, 2015 @ 7:27 am
So predictable. They’ll come out with their chain wallets, leather bracelets, over-sized earrings, mid-length dyed hair and one shitty forearm tattoo to boot.
July 28, 2015 @ 12:07 pm
So…you’ve ruined my day. My sons’ names are Gunnar Lee and Mathew Kain…Gunnar and Mathew. I hate you.
July 28, 2015 @ 4:22 pm
Trig looks like your reporting is 17 years late–they recorded a country Album in 1998 as The Nelsons 🙂
July 28, 2015 @ 4:43 pm
That was mentioned that in the article. Funny Warner decided not to release it because they were worried people would not think it was real. But today apparently, the public is primed for Nelson country.
July 28, 2015 @ 4:48 pm
I just think that Pop or soft rock music posing as country is just wrong. That’s what bothers the hell out of me, far more than who is doing the singing.
July 28, 2015 @ 5:45 pm
its all bad. country radio has been a joke for so long why not? really, none of these guys are more ludicrous than any other. Tyler, korn, hootie, manson, nelson, the guy from poison and that rapper guy, whos to say which one going country is the worst? its like trying to point out the ugliest turd in an outhouse.
July 28, 2015 @ 6:05 pm
In fairness Darius Rucker has put in much more time and commitment than the others you listed and produced some better music even if it isn’t really my thing. He doesn’t feel like a complete carpetbagger like the others.
July 28, 2015 @ 6:24 pm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnkCxcStvIA
Verdict? I dig it but it is rockabilly, after all. It’s 2005 but it’s kind of cool.
July 28, 2015 @ 6:37 pm
A lot of the guitar work on Ricky Nelson’s records was the great Joe Maphis too not just James Burton.
July 28, 2015 @ 6:45 pm
A bit off topic,sorry, but this is tangible proof that country, rock and blues are eternally intertwined.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gbx8c8ta_I8
July 29, 2015 @ 11:48 am
Based on the quotes you’ve pulled from the Nelson kids, I’d say all they know about their dad’s contribution to country music is what they’ve heard in “Garden Party.”
July 31, 2015 @ 3:54 pm
I think you’re unfair to ‘Glam Rock’ by saying Nelson was a part of that musical genre.
July 31, 2015 @ 9:31 pm
“Glam Rock” was the term they used in a recent Rolling Stone Country feature. I just repeated it.
August 4, 2015 @ 7:42 am
They looked silly with the long hair, but after their initial flare up in the rock music word, Nelson went on to blur the lines between rock and country a long time ago. Their cd “Because We Can” from 1995 had a few country’ish songs on it – specifically, “Cross My Broken Heart” sounds like a softer version of Little Texas. Actually, Little Texas would be a good comparison. I don’t know how long an act has to play country influenced music for them to be “allowed” to go full country, but I have to believe that it’s less than 20 years?
August 17, 2015 @ 2:52 pm
I don’t know if anyone in here remembers the Austrian death metal band Pungent Stench from the 1990s. Personally I think it might be hilarious if they tried doing a country album.
September 23, 2019 @ 5:24 pm
Nice to see that the original blogger has a fan club. Nicer to see that some knowledgeable people disagree re RN. So did Carl Perkins. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0G7D_clJQ7M. The twins’ music I don’t know so well, but I wouldn’t underestimate talent in a family like that.
https://medium.com/@jeremylr/the-ultimate-list-of-rick-nelsons-songwriting-chops-e433fd356f85 and they don’t do this for nothing. https://www.rockhall.com/inductees/ricky-nelson
February 23, 2021 @ 9:56 pm
I think this article just reminded us how great Ricky Nelson was and how dangerous it is to freebase in a small aircraft. As for the twins, I really don’t give a shit about Christmas so maybe their Christmas album would be the one for me, doubt it though.