Luke Bryan’s New Song “Fish Hunt Golf Drink” (A Rant)
Bro-Country (#535) on the Country DDS.
It would be celebrated as benevolent charity, and welcomed as a divine validation of the awesome presence of the Almighty if a hantavirus-infected rodent crawled up the keister of this incessantly embarrassing country music goober, and started gnawing away until it keeled him over, forever silencing his completely embarrassing, expendable, and culturally disastrous redneck shitracket.
In a slavish and naked attempt to stay relevant, Luke Bryan has released a song so spectacularly tooled and refined for optimum resonance in 2016, it’s outright eerie. Did Bryan take a blow to the noggin and somehow completely memory hole the last decade? Does the truly think that list-tastic Bro-Country swill is still all the rage, or ripe for resurrection? What in the Florida Georgia Line is he thinking by unleashing this atrocious pablum?
The same people consulting Luke Bryan to release this “song” are equivalent to the ones that said the War in Iran would be over in 72 hours. “Fish Hunt Golf Drink” should definitely be taken as a sign of a declining empire in its last dying gasps of cultural relevance, trundling down the toilet hole in the throes of late stage Capitalism.
Anyone in any way even slightly tangentially involved in the writing, production, and/or recording and distribution of this song should be frog marched into the middle of 16th Avenue in Nashville, and publicly pelted with rotten fruit as onlookers point and laugh at their diminutive genitals.
Luke Bryan almost never writes his own songs, because of course he sucks at it. But for some godforsaken reason, he decides to take a stab at it here, yet inadvertently bullseyes his own jugular, bleeding out whatever final modicum of popular relevance he might have been clinging to.
And goodness, what has happened to Luke Bryan the man? He’s really let himself go. Remember when he was out there trying to be country music’s sexpot, humping the air on stage with a signature hip hunch he coined “the move“? Now in the visualizer for this song, he’s perfecting some sort of dad bod version of Refrigerator Perry’s Super Bowl shuffle, looking like a man in arrears for a colonoscopy and prostate exam.
But of course, “Fish Hunt Golf Drink” will be #1 on country radio for seven damn weeks, and precede every single college football game this upcoming fall in some ESPN cross-promotional monstrosity cooked up by a bunch of cucks in khakis, making all actual country fans want to sink into their couch cushions each Saturday as they feel their balls shrivel up into their abdomen.
Yes, “Fish Hunt Golf Drink” is definitely reigniting conversation around Luke Bryan once again. But not in the way they intended. Even dudes who were rockin’ Morgan Wallen mullets a few years back are looking at Luke who’s clinging to his position on American Idol to keep him off the county fair circuit, shaking their heads and saying, “It’s a no from me, dog.”
As you might be able to tell, the take on this song wasn’t particularly favorable here at Saving Country Music dot com.
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May 19, 2026 @ 7:47 am
I almost think that this song is intentionally this bad because “hate listens” are still listens. There is no other way I can see how “climb tree” is an actual lyric. Aside from ‘Country Girl Shake It For Me’ which has a good guitar riff and overall sound I genuinely do not understand why people like Luke Bryan. His lyrics are absolutely juvenile redundant and just plain stupid, and his vocal ability is poor. I’m struggling to come up with the correct insult to use on people who like Luke Bryan’s music.
May 19, 2026 @ 7:47 am
So is that a no?
May 19, 2026 @ 7:49 am
Multi millionaire a hundred times over Luke Bryan sitting on a really nice dock singing about bills was enough to make me shut this off immediately. My ears are thankful.
May 19, 2026 @ 7:52 am
“The same people consulting Luke Bryan to release this “song” are equivalent to the ones that said the War in Iran would be over in 72 hours.”
This is fucking hilarious! And the same people that like this song are probably the same that said the War in Iran would be over in 72 hours, too.
May 19, 2026 @ 8:14 am
*slow clap*
May 19, 2026 @ 8:15 am
I wish this single was over in 72 Hours.
May 19, 2026 @ 7:57 am
I think the guy’s just having fun.
May 19, 2026 @ 8:03 am
lol funny to me to see this after one of my favorite podcasts also made fun of this song in yesterdays episode. This has set back by years everyone who has ever tried to tell their friends country music is actually good
May 19, 2026 @ 8:15 am
Yeah, Incidentally, hatred for this song has pierced the zeitgeist and is all over the place in podcasts, sports commentary, social media posts. It really is touching a nerve in all the wrong ways. I’m kind of behind the times issuing this rant.
May 19, 2026 @ 8:16 am
Cucks in Khakis are playing one of the smaller stages at CMA Fest. I think any festival you’re involved in booking this year should consider them too.
It is not a good song. Nice to see another of the increasingly rare Triggerants.
May 19, 2026 @ 8:21 am
Give the guy a break!
May 19, 2026 @ 8:31 am
“Wake up, coffee, camo, climb tree”
Yeah, you can tell he really tried his hardest.
May 19, 2026 @ 8:29 am
…unlike a pretty large portion of the genre’s die-hard fans – we may have to tune ourselves to the fact that some country stars might actually have a wicked sense of humor. his swing may not be freddy couples and the dance moves not quite dwight, but all in all a fun clip to watch. when a near 80 guy tees up for the driver at the par 3 – chances are he’s pullin’ your leg.
after all, the discerning country aficionado knows since george jones’ turning down “too cold at home” – because of the golf reference in there – golf & country must not be mentioned in the same sentence (anymore).
May 19, 2026 @ 8:42 am
Yeah, I’ve seen some cope about how this song is supposed to be taken tongue-in-cheek or something. I also think there’s a handful of 50-something dudes out there that identify with Luke Bryan’s bad dad dance moves. But I don’t think this was meant to be a parody or something. It was released in mid May to become a summer anthem on radio. It’s right in line with Luke’s singles “Hunting, Fishing and Loving Every Day,” and “Sunrise, Sunburn, Sunset.” This might be the most quintessential Luke Bryan summer single he’s ever released.
May 19, 2026 @ 8:35 am
Sounds like a sequel to his song Hunting, Fishing and Loving Every Day. The guitar lick even sounds the same.
May 19, 2026 @ 8:45 am
This is hysterical. The chorus is straight from the movie “Idiocracy.” The next one will be a series of grunts.