Luke Bryan’s “That’s My Kind Of Night” (A Rant)
WARNING: Language
Let’s start this off by dispatching with the 700 lb gorilla in the room and say what everyone is thinking, but few are willing to say publicly: The only reason Luke Bryan’s “That’s My Kind Of Night” is a #1 song is because bored suburban moms and their daughters want to fuck him. Luke Bryan’s music has the nutritional value of notebook paper, and is the clinical result of when an entertainer spreads his arms wide in a submissive pose and relents his entire will to the country music industrial complex, saying “Do your worst.” Luke Bryan has no soul. He is more machine than man. He has the integrity of a Guatemalan mule bridge with a squadron of M1 tanks trying to cross it. “That’s My Kind of Night” is like a diabolically-specialized form of audio diarrhea that marries the ideal ratio of water to solids so when it is sent through an industrial fan it inflicts the widest collateral damage on as many people as possible.
2 1/2 years ago a stupid little blog called Saving Country Music proposed that in due course, we wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between country and rap songs. The hypothesis was generally laughed at or ignored, and even I didn’t know just how far we would come in such short order. And now yet again the #1 song in country music is a country rap featuring an appearance by a prominent hip hop artist. “A little Conway a little T-Pain?” Yep, that pretty much sums up American music in 2013, sans the Conway—replaced by Luke Bryan and his vomit-inducing country rap trend-chasing ilk.
But one of the disappointing things about this song is just how little T Pain there is after this was the big news ahead of the song’s release. Sure, he’s name dropped and appears on the track, but T-Pain is buried in the mix even more than the banjo. If you’re going to have T-Pain or some other washed-up rapper make an appearance on your shitty country song, then own it dammit. Have T-Pain popping out of a birthday cake with his rainbow dreads cascading out from under his top hat while shooting off Roman candles, Auto-tuning the shit out of anything and everything in his hack-ass, no-talent-having path. But T-Pain’s meager appearance is indicative of the approach to this song: round the edges off and take half measures until you have the most candy-assed, milktoast, generic song possible to infect the gullible masses with booty-shaking ear worms in a complete vacuum of artistic value.
The “Uh! Uh!” at the very beginning of “That’s My Kind of Night” is indicative to the kind of submissive role this supposed “country” song takes to its rap and pop influences. The reference to “real good stuff” hidden under the seat may seem risque for country, but this type of pussy-ass drug referencing has been bastardizing pop songs for years. And then here comes the indolent references to rural culture like “big black jacked up trucks” and “diamond-plated tailgates.” At one point Luke Bryan talks about floating down the Flint River with a girl and catching her a catfish dinner. Let me assure you folks, the only thing Luke Bryan could “catch” on a river may smell fishy, but that’s only because it originates from the pussing nethers of some floozy who’d be stupid enough to raft up with a tenderfoot like Luke in the first place.
The live video for this song does it one worse. As you will notice below, only women are shown in the crowd shots, because that is what all of this is geared toward because corporate country females are the last demographic too ditsy to figure out how to steal or stream their music. The submissiveness displayed by some of the young girls in this video is downright scarey, and reminds one of the worshiping of the Golden Calf in Chuck Heston’s The Ten Commandments. Seriously, what the fuck? The glazed over look in some of these girl’s eyes and the servile gesturing is outright cultish.
And what’s up with this guy and his monkeyshit green electric banjo? The thing looks like the instrumental equivalent of a bedazzled vagina. Anything whose paint job is characterized as “avocado burst” has no business in country music.
Worst country song ever? I’d have to say no. Jason Aldean’s “1994” is a milestone that may take years to depose, but Luke Bryan’s “That’s My Kind Of Night” is certainly worthy of the type of ridicule reserved for only the absolute worst of quotation mark “country” songs.
Two guns way down!
– – – – – – – – – – –
September 4, 2013 @ 10:38 am
I couldn’t make it though the whole song. Yet another piece of trash peddled to the masses. The horny women this is played too will love it.
September 5, 2013 @ 9:54 am
Gotta disagree with ya here…even horny women don’t enjoy listening to utter drivel like this song! 🙂
September 5, 2013 @ 2:02 pm
You made a good point
September 4, 2013 @ 10:46 am
I love it when you get pissed off!
September 4, 2013 @ 10:47 am
Great Read!!! I think this song is worse than 1994. But we can all agree that Jason Aldean & Luke Bryan sound like pile of cow shit.
Saw Hank III in Pittsburgh the other night. New songs sound good, really excited for the record to drop.
September 4, 2013 @ 10:48 am
I was waiting for some time to see this song get roasted.
September 4, 2013 @ 10:53 am
I was waiting until I could see the whites of its eyes.
September 4, 2013 @ 10:52 am
Jesus Fucking Christ on a cracker. I just listened to it, but I had to watch it too. First, I don’t even know who the fuck T-pain is, but I can’t hear anyone beside pussy boy anyway. Why don’t he talk like a rapper and at least say, “Bitch, get me another beer”? I’m thinking this dude wants to hump himself, more than the 15 year old girls in his audience. So much for lunch, I’ve got to go run my fingers down my throat. I think you should have a “gun in their own mouth” rating.
September 4, 2013 @ 10:56 am
God dammit, Trigger, I hate it when you bring this horse shit to my attention. My life would be a lot better if I had gone on not knowing about this song’s existence.
September 4, 2013 @ 10:59 am
I agree with everything except your bias against avocado burst.
September 4, 2013 @ 11:07 am
But with a banjo? Come on.
September 4, 2013 @ 11:12 am
For fucks sake, when will this yuppy ass-fuck retarded phase of music be over with for good. And what the fuck is wrong with the people that listen to this crap. My blood pressure goes through the roof at the very thought of what has happened to country music. I think a real Outlaw Movement is in the near future “Beating the living fuck out of Todays Country Stars!
Fuck!
September 4, 2013 @ 11:38 am
Wow. What a piece of shit this “song” is.
I used to DJ in a country bar in my hometown, needless to say they (meaning the corporate whorewives, and the wannabe country frat boys) didn’t like it much when I wouldn’t play this kind of shit. Thankfully I left before this shit took off. I quit doing it around the time Sugarland put out their craptastic country rap song. I refused to play the majority of the newer music simply because it panders to the lowest commonly denominator of fan. I stood so firm on my ground that I got a highball glass thrown at my face because I refused to play Luke Bryan’s Country Man. No bullshit.
Anyways. I think the world will be a much better place when all of this wannabe frat boy fuckheads puts a .357 magnum in their mouths when they realize that they are nothing more than a bunch of asshats that music row uses as puppets. What a bunch of Jizzlobbers.
September 4, 2013 @ 11:54 am
Usually I will listen to the songs that you rant about. I guess I like to torture myself. But this time I’m going to take your word on it being crap and not subject myself to something this bad. Thanks for the warning.
September 4, 2013 @ 12:03 pm
ok i understand why the girls are there, but whats that guy doing there wearing an e3 ranch hat
February 18, 2014 @ 10:40 pm
isnt he just waiting for some fresh left overs?
September 4, 2013 @ 12:15 pm
Fucking douchebag.
September 4, 2013 @ 12:55 pm
I just perused Mr. Bryan’s discography. The singles on his first two albums ranged from pretty good to tolerable and inoffensive, with a couple being intentionally humorous which is something that is sorely lacking in country music today.
Then he drank the Jason Aledean-flavored Kool-Aid and released an album of songs that were all tributes to everything that’s wrong with country music today.
I thought there was hope for the guy when the first single from his current album was uninspiring but at least not stereotypical, but this thing is crap. Gangnam Style is more country that this.
September 4, 2013 @ 1:25 pm
I would disagree and say this song is far worse than “1994”. Granted, ’94 was downright brutal, but at least the amalgamation of stupid cliches there were in attempt to string Diffie’s song titles together and “pay homage” to his career. Meanwhile, a human being (Dallas D, of course) actually decided to form the pathetic content of this song through his own creativity. I can dismiss “1994” as a dreadful, cute attempt at being clever. “Boys Round Here” and “That’s my Kind of Night” have no such alibi. They’re just awful.
September 4, 2013 @ 1:32 pm
I might as well just say it – of all the current crop of male country singers, Luke Bryan is my favorite vocalist. I do really, really love his voice. He has the talent, now I’d wish he’d put it to good use. Am I alone in thinking this?
I’ve always regarded him as the modern day Tim McGraw, and for a while thought he was going down that path. But for every “Indian Outlaw” McGraw at least had an “Everywhere” or “One of These Days” to balance it out. It’s sad that mainstream country has evolved to a place where artistry and depth aren’t valued, even as album cuts.
I was so hoping he was above the whole country-rap subculture, but he’s just following the money like everyone else. It’s paying off (no pun intended) so maybe he isn’t as shallow as we all make him out to be.
Anyways, this is a brilliant piece of writing with so many wonderful phrases. That opening paragraph is killer!
September 4, 2013 @ 1:46 pm
I won’t take anything away from Luke Bryan as a singer. It’s a shame he took that voice and decided to do stuff like this with it.
September 4, 2013 @ 4:22 pm
” Am I alone in thinking this”
Please tell me/us you are kidding right? Right????
“Modern day Tim McGraw” ????
Again, you are just kidding or just have No clue… Which is it???
Christ sakes….I can’t believe some of the people who slip through the cracks
and spew off about their pop country love in.
It’s called SAVING COUNTRY MUSIC. Com !!!!
September 4, 2013 @ 7:43 pm
I can”™t believe some of the people who slip through the cracks
and spew off about their pop country love in.
Uh, the dude has a blog, you know. If you’d actually read it you’d know it wasn’t that simple.
For the record, yeah, the song was just that bad.
September 5, 2013 @ 12:07 pm
Pistolero… You think I’m talking about Trigger with the Blog???
I’m talking about J Poppalardo… Keep up would ya Dude.
Prob sorta confusing cuz Trigger wedged his comment between mine & Poppalardo’s
which threw ya off.
Anyway, drives me bananas that Pop country lovers come to this Site to speak their mind about such hideous crap and tell as their thoughts on pop artists.
If your a fan of traditional old school country then I don’t quite understand why we gotta tolerate listening to opinions on Pop country. Freedom of speech will be the argument I guess, but isn’t there a site for Lovers of that mindless music???
” modern day Tim McGraw” ….. Says it like TM was ever country and relevant lol
September 5, 2013 @ 1:05 pm
Pretty sure he knew you were talking about Jonathan Pappalardo, who is indeed a music blogger. You can click on his name to get to it.
September 5, 2013 @ 5:48 pm
Can the guy not appreciate any element of Pop Country? He said he liked Luke Bryan’s voice, but was disappointed that he wasted it on shitty songs. That’s not exactly singing the praises of pop country. Don’t be so butthurt, guy.
September 6, 2013 @ 2:45 pm
I think the only people who get butthurt are the people who actually enjoy this pop garbage, mainly because they are all fucking homos who take it in the ass. Im sure Aldean and company still feel the butthurt Scott Borchetta gave them to make them STARS!
Fucking douchebags!!
September 4, 2013 @ 7:32 pm
The difference between Bryan three albums ago and now? He wrote his material. Look at the credits. On his last album he co-wrote only two songs, and had a total of over one dozen writers on his record. Now I know that a lot of country artists play songs written by others, this has been common for decades. But I cannot help but feel it plays a part..
September 5, 2013 @ 7:48 am
Tim Mcgraw sucks and so does Luke Bryan. One just came into mainstream 15 years after the other.
September 5, 2013 @ 8:42 am
Rebuttal:
Everywhere
Where the green grass grows
Don’t take the girl
Live like you were dying
Just to see you smile
My Best Friend
Something like that
Grown Men Dont Cry
Red Rag Top
My Little Girl
If you judge his music solely by Truck Yeah or Indian Outlaw…you’d have a point.
but generally his good stuff has outweighed his bad in the past, though it’s been a bit since he did somehting good, and it may seem like he’s making up for lost time with more and more Truck Yeah’s.
September 5, 2013 @ 11:38 am
Indian Giver is his only good song! Jumpin’ Gene Simmons wrote that gem.
September 5, 2013 @ 11:39 am
Obviously meant Indian Outlaw… Indian Giver’s one of my favourite semi-offensive bubblegum records though.
September 6, 2013 @ 7:03 am
the list of songs still reads as someone willing to put out what ever he was told to to get a hit….. TM always sucked, still sucks and one of the only good things about him is he is gone…. easily part of the problem and lead us to where we are today, in a big steaming pile of shit!
September 4, 2013 @ 3:55 pm
The day has come for them to name this crap something besides COUNTRY. I mean even the pretense of some of this dung remotely being country music is beyond a joke. They now have a check sheet of the lower common denominators, I am pretty sure, and must have them all checked off in the songwriting and pre-production stages before a song gets the thumbs up from the suits. I do not think any of the legends are rolling over in their graves. I wish they would all come back as evil haints and haunt the entire industry until it scared away all the chumps! This is beyond ridiculous. I happen to dig real hip-hop and I love country but the marriage of the two is not happening and I doubt it ever should. I am open minded but COME THE HECK ON!
September 4, 2013 @ 3:56 pm
Sadly, there are bitches out there buying this shit or pirating it. Either way it lives on fucking up my commute to work every morning. I gotta say I love this rant! I searched for what my favorite quote from it might be for me to share in similar rants that I have with my friends. It’s difficult to select one.
Somehow the thread was broken when people started playing music to be famous, instead of actually playing and writing music because it’s an art. It’s high time we get back to the basics. You know what I want to know (that I’m not willing to find out for myself) how the fuck do these idiots play this shit live? I’m ashamed to admit it but I found myself at a Tim McGraw concert this summer, and I didn’t even see a band. I left when they piped in Taylor Swift vocals. When do we get to start hearing MUSIC on the radio again?
September 4, 2013 @ 4:13 pm
I think Luke Bryan has a thing for Jason Aldean and vice versa.
After the 1994 song came out, the only good that came out of it was that Joe Diffie did stand up, unfortunately Joe didn’t stand alone. He had some Guy called D-Thrash from some group called Jawga Boyz join him on a song called ‘Girl Ridin Shot Gun’.
Other than Joe Diffie the song was brutal.
September 4, 2013 @ 5:24 pm
I saw Don Williams in concert Sunday night. He’s getting up there in years, looking a little frail, but his voice was golden. Anyway, somewhere in the middle of “What do you do, with good ol boys like me” it occurred to me how lucky we are that he was born when he was instead of 1981, because there’s no way he’d get played today. Instead, we have this crap. It’s got to be a sign of the coming apocalypse, or the nearing collapse of our society.
Morning Show Tiddy Bits | Rawhide And Velvet
September 4, 2013 @ 6:12 pm
[…] Triggerman’s head just might explode on this one.  […]
September 4, 2013 @ 6:13 pm
I’ve been waiting a long time for you to do this lol.
You know I usually don’t really mind Luke Bryan. I think his contemporary pop songs are pretty catchy and not that bad. “That’s My Kind of Night” however is embarrassingly bad. It honestly embarrasses me that this is what is currently representing the genre.
September 4, 2013 @ 7:00 pm
I had a conversation about crap like this with Sturgill Simpson before his show Sunday evening. It really makes me sad that this type of god-awful shit is on every FM “country” station, and a real country music badass like Sturgill will get no mainstream support. What the fuck is wrong with people nowadays? I mean it, it really saddens me.
Sturgill’s show was fucking awesome by the way.
September 5, 2013 @ 11:46 am
I just recently happened upon Sturgill Simpson music and Sunday Valley music, I can’t get enough! The energy and passion that comes out is what makes a legend! I write songs every couple of days and people that know me well, can tell that I’ve been listening to him. Definitely inspired buy him! I can say this, I agree with you that it’s saddening, but I also feel like this movement or revolution whatever we call it, it’s pretty strong. People are tired of this shit. They want real music that’s backed with passion, and musicianship.
September 4, 2013 @ 10:56 pm
Such a shame that this kind of song will be number one soon and other real country artists will just be left unknown while they play this crap… Such a shame.. Luke and Jason are both just terrible!
September 4, 2013 @ 11:02 pm
It has already been #1 on Billboards Hot Country Songs chart for the last two weeks, beating out Florida Georgia Line’s “Cruise” that is now the longest-running #1 in the history of country music. This song has only been on the chart for 4 weeks. I’ve never seen a song rise to #1 that quickly. It’s a brave new world in country music.
September 5, 2013 @ 1:27 pm
I may be wrong, but from what I can recall, Garth Brooks song ”More than a Memory” debuted at #1 6 years ago.
September 5, 2013 @ 12:02 am
Wow! Stop The Presses! Has anyone else noticed that Luke Bryan is NOT smiling in this single cover image?
His neutral expression looks kind of sinister actually, as if to solicit: “Hehehe, even I know this song is cursed, but the bank and the wallet chains department beckons me, bwaaaaaa ha ha ha ha ha!” 😉
September 5, 2013 @ 12:09 am
Also, a few other points in response to this historically arsenic single:
*
1) I’m pretty sure Luke Bryan is “Breaking Bad” when he says “I’ve got that real good feel good stuff, up under the seat of my big black jacked up truck!” 😉
2) How depressing that Bryan utters “Girl, hand me another beer!” and yet hordes of women on YouTube are probably replying: “I’ll be your slave any day, Luke!” -__-
3) A mixtape? Really? And here I thought mixtapes, with the exception of EP releases from commercial rap artists, have become largely obsolete since the mid-nineties! -__-
4) Ah, yes. The “make it rain” urban dictionary slang rears its head in a “country” song. I know Fast Ryde already attempted (and failed) to capitalize on that slang with a single by the same name about a drought-stricken agricultural community praying for rainfall, but who wants to bet we’ll see the usage of this term duplicated at least fivefold within the next 18 months?
*
September 5, 2013 @ 4:27 am
You know it’s a problem when we start looking back fondly at the Tim McGraw era. I’m finally coming around to the idea that we might’ve been a little hard on Garth. I started listening to real country music precisely because I was sick of the Tim McGraws of the world in the early 2000’s. Now I’m the first to admit if there is even a little kernel of goodness in a pop country song and undoubtedly Tim McGraw does have a few kernels here and there. This Luke Bryan thing though – holy hell does this guy suck. Even my wife, who looks down on my distaste for pop country as snobbery, saw the Crossroads with Joe Walsh and couldn’t stop laughing at Luke Bryan. I don’t think there is one shred of realness to the guy. He is the Stepford Wife of male pop country.
September 5, 2013 @ 5:52 am
Thank goodness Garth Brooks is back writing and will be out of touring retirement next year! I listen to our ‘classic’ station or the music loaded on my phone to avoid this dreck.338
September 5, 2013 @ 6:27 am
Strange,
I’ve never heard of Luke Bryan. Just a quick glance at the pic tells me he is a pop-tart with a penis. And, I really cant fathom why anyone would be listening to a radio station north of 92.
And yet, I do know that the Dead Winter Carpenters are playing in Knoxville next month. Maybe I’m an “old guy” or maybe I have better media filters, or maybe I just don’t have time to pay attention to he corporate non-sense. I just don’t have time for celebrities. I prefer musicians.
September 5, 2013 @ 7:40 am
Could we reroute Luke’s tour bus over that Guatemalan mule bridge?
September 5, 2013 @ 8:14 am
It immediately brought this song to mind: Totally using sex to sell to young people with tuneless monotone mindless lyrics. All the crappy pop country singers are just getting on the bandwagon birthed by American Idol and crossover garbage.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jb2stN7kH28
September 5, 2013 @ 8:56 am
*Slips his Surf Green Fender Jazz Bass around to hang behind his back and slowly backpedals, looking around ‘innocently’*
“Yeah–that’s right! Fuck them girly colors!!. Right on!!!”
*cough* *duck* *run*
September 5, 2013 @ 9:03 am
Let’s see all the different kinds of country music we have
1.Traditional
2.Classic
3.Pop
4.Alt
and now Luke Bryan has created Douche bag country 😀
September 5, 2013 @ 10:58 am
Actually, he collaborated with Jason Aldean to create that sub-genre a couple of years ago.
September 5, 2013 @ 2:01 pm
Good point!
September 25, 2013 @ 11:04 am
I prefer to call the sub-genre that the purveyors of this audio HIV belong to something else. “Baseball Cap Country” is what I call it. If you look more appropriate singing your new “hit” in a baseball cap instead of a cowboy hat then you’re doing it wrong.
We need a new classification for this satanic amalgam of country, rap, and pop that is taking place. We could call it “Crop.” As in “Hey, did you hear that new Brantley Gilbert track? It just cracked the Billboard Crop Top 40!”
September 5, 2013 @ 9:35 am
1992. 21 years ago. Here’s a random snapshot. Travis Tritt’s ‘It’s All About To Change’ was literally tearing up the country music charts (Here’s a Quarter, The Whiskey Ain’t Workin, etc..). Young kids were singing these songs, college bars & redneck bars all over the country were playing these songs. Dads & Grandads loved these songs. Soccer moms were singing & crying when they heard ‘Anymore.’
Here we are in 2013. ‘Shine On’ breaks chart records and this Luke Bryan song are the best country music radio has to offer. Un-freaking-believable…
September 5, 2013 @ 3:52 pm
When you look back to 1992 and take a long look at the depth of talent (check Wiki) that was out at that time as well as the very long list of hits that came from the early 90’s artists and compare it to today’s so called country it’s not even close. Today the talent pool in country music is very very shallow, artists like Carrie Underwood are a big fish in a small pond when it comes to talent and IMO she is over rated.
One big difference between 92 & 2013 is back in 92 people listening to the music was from the age of 5 to 95 years old, today I’d say your looking at an age range that would be 25 tops. I’m 33 years old and I personally do not know anyone who listens to today’s country radio, everyone has the same opinion young and old, it sucks big time.
September 5, 2013 @ 9:47 am
Holy Miley Cyrus, Batman! This shit is more offensive than ole chicken butt twerking at the VMAs. There’s 45 seconds of my life I’ll never get back (that’s as far as I made it through the YouTube clip)
September 5, 2013 @ 10:01 am
Horrible song…I’m not a soccer mom but I am in the targeted age demographic and I have to say…not all of us listen to this horrific stuff! But should we be blaming Luke Bryan or the songwriters? It’s like they are all trying to out-Badly-write the last crappy song! Luke’s just the face pushing the crap, he’s not even talented enough to write it.
September 5, 2013 @ 11:34 am
He kinda reminds me of Rachael Maddow. He seems way too goody/goody for this sexual stuff. I bet he’s probably listening to the Gaither’s on the bus and doesn’t even know a T-Pain song.
September 5, 2013 @ 6:08 pm
What is with the skinny jeans? He should be embarrassed.
September 12, 2013 @ 10:37 am
“I really like those jeans! Tell me, does the place where you bought those sell men’s jeans, too?” – Charlie Robison
September 5, 2013 @ 8:19 pm
When I post on Country Universe I have to keep it clean and try to be insightful. When I post here, I guess I have a little more personal leverage and leeway. So let me say, with the utmost sophistication…
FUCK THIS SHIT! I’ll be listening to some Keith Whitley, George Strait, Merle Haggard or some super badass, actual fucking country music artist. You can shake it for me right the hell off the stage Luke Bryan.
Brother jukebox, sister wine, it looks like you are truly the only friends that I have left.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLrDh-zako4
September 5, 2013 @ 9:36 pm
I used to like Luke Bryan’s music. It was very poppy but at all but one he had a part in writing. It is ironic that a guy that wrote “I’ll Stay Me” and “Doin’ My Thing” which he proclaims to be himself and not change is now doing moves that Jason Aldean and Brantley Gilbert are doing. What a sell-out.
September 6, 2013 @ 4:23 am
I like George Jones, Hank Williams and Waylon Jennings, but I also like Florida Georgia Line, Jason Aldean, and Luke Bryan. Am I wrong?
September 6, 2013 @ 11:05 am
Yes.
But don’t let it stop you from enjoying it.
September 6, 2013 @ 6:45 am
I feel compelled to proclaim a “FUCK YOU” for exposing me to shit. Upon conclusion of this abomination I felt it necessary to bash my face against a wall to erase the memory. It didn’t work. And now I have a concussion.
Fuck my life.
September 6, 2013 @ 9:09 am
Disagree! As much as I hated 1994, this is the worst song by far!
September 6, 2013 @ 10:51 am
This guy will be divoreced in less than a year. His marriage is a cover….not that there is anything wrong with that lifestyle, but this guy needs to just come out and be himself.
I still want to punch Brantley Gilbert in the face. While I do it, this Luke dude can hold my jacket I guess.
September 6, 2013 @ 10:59 am
You thought that was bad take a listen of this. http://music.yahoo.com/blogs/our-country/exclusive-listen-justin-moore-brand-butt-kickin-single-150615825.html
September 6, 2013 @ 11:17 am
Just saw that a few days ago, and it immediately rocketed to the very top of the rant docket.
September 9, 2013 @ 8:57 am
HO
LEE
F**K.
That is the wost song I’ve ever heard in my entire life! I’d rather listen to “1994” on repeat.
July 25, 2014 @ 10:56 pm
Please, come back George Strait !
( T.G. Garth is… )
September 8, 2013 @ 8:15 am
Ya, and they thought Elvis was bad………… Oh, for the ‘good old days.’ 🙂
September 8, 2013 @ 4:50 pm
I cannot stand any of this so called country music. But I believe Puke Bryan’s latest is by far the absolute worst. And what is really sad is that there are so many people who actually like this crap. Who would’ve ever guessed there would be that many clueless dumbasses in the world, very scary.
September 8, 2013 @ 7:14 pm
Im curious how much money is involved in getting Lukes last two horrid songs to the top of the charts and put on heavy radio airplay? If someone like AlanJackson had a few million to dump into his new album, could he accomplish the same thing or do the 3 record corporations and 3 radio station corporations have everything locked out in some respect?
September 8, 2013 @ 8:20 pm
First of all, I don’t usually respond to childish dribble, such as this blog, but I feel like I got something to say and if you don’t like it TOUGH FUCKING SHIT.
I am an avid music lover of all genres. I deeply respect music and all of the great things it has to offer. I can literally listen to anyone from Pavarotti, to Frank Sinatra, to Lady Gaga, and Daft Punk. Also a huge country fan, hence why I’m here. Point is, there isn’t much out there that I don’t like.
Hold on to your hat though, because I’m about to be childish right back at you people. Yep, I said it, I’m gonna make some cheap shots that hit below the belt, but this person doesn’t really give a damn.
1. I find it highly ironic that almost every person on here commenting is a man. I find that this is the stereotypical jealousy that most immature men exude when they see women fawn over a man, namely celebrities, but nonetheless, any decently attractive man with a pulse. Such a shame that when a man fawns over a woman, we are all suppose to chalk it up as ‘men being men’ but when a woman does it, that’s just NOT ok.
I’d hate to see what some of you ‘men’ look like. Probably like
Larry Flynt. Or a rapist in a trailer park. Point is, you’re probably ugly, can’t dance, and don’t have two pennies to rub together to make two cents, that’s why you constantly are trashing Luke Bryan. Yep, sad but true, you’re just jealous.
Do you need ointment for that burn? Because if you do, you’re a pussy. More of one than you apparently think Luke Bryan is.
2. Music has evolved, get the fuck over it. Why do you think music is often divided into different time periods? Do you think a Mozart symphony sounds like an Aretha Franklin song? Heavens no. You would be a damn fool to think music doesn’t change over time. It’s time to move on.
No one said you had to like it. Just find something else to listen to.
End of rant. You people have been quite entertaining to me this evening with your babbling bullshit as you hate on seemingly everyone in country music.
September 8, 2013 @ 9:23 pm
…the 12 year old girls from youtube have found us
September 8, 2013 @ 11:04 pm
You may not like it, but Luke Bryan is heavily marketed toward teenage girls because of his looks. They are the main demographic at his shows. Add in a decent voice and some catchy hooks and you’ve got a country pop superstar. Beneath the surface you’ve got a guy who puts out very little songs of any substance. He’s a 37 year old man with a wife and 2 kids who writes songs about girls shaking their behinds and other nonsense. Basically, the bottom line is that Luke Bryan is another country sellout who’s stooping to the lowest common denominator to get to the top. And he’s contributing significantly to the extinction of the genre of country because other artists see the success that Bryan, Shelton, FGL have gotten and they are trying to follow in their footsteps.
September 9, 2013 @ 7:22 am
Shut up douchebag! This site is a place for people to vent about the poor state of todays Country music industry, It’s cornholers like you that are contributing to this generation of terrible music! You are not a Country music fan, you are a transgendered moron, now go back and listen to lady gaga and 10 year old girl music!
September 9, 2013 @ 10:33 am
Someone is in love with Luke Bryan and all worked up (and apparently British because no one in America says “Bum” anymore except for my Grandfather who use to say “Golley Bum”).
Luke Bryan is a sellout douchebag with cheap throw away music that will never stand the test of time. He’s basically a country music prostitute. For example, it’s been years since I’ve heard “Achey Breaky Heart” played on the radio but at least twice a week I still hear Clear Channel playing “Two of a Kind” by Garth Brooks. Cheap music designed only to get girls wet never holds up.
September 10, 2013 @ 3:16 pm
Was he talking about country music? NO, he was talking about Luke Bryan….big difference.
September 16, 2013 @ 8:15 pm
I am a woman. And my penis is bigger than Luke’s.
His voice sounds like he’s got a dick stuck in his throat.
You “same” people are all the same.
Did you mean “sane”? No sane people would like Luke.
September 18, 2013 @ 10:58 am
I have to disagree with this young lady. I’m also a young lady & find Luke Bryan unintelligent & repulsive. I think his jeans have cut off the circulation to his brain. I’d take Hank3 over Luke any day.
September 9, 2013 @ 6:21 am
Oh really ‘Only the same person lef'”? I’m a 20 year old female college student and I’m not one of those every immature men that you are talking about. but i’m not like you, childish prick. IMO, Luke Bryan has become a complete sellout with this horrific song of his. That said, today’s country music has gotten wayyy out of hands and just terrible. the fact that you listen to Lady Gaga and Daft Punk says a lot about your music taste, so just SHUT UP and get the hell out of here. nuffsaid
September 10, 2013 @ 3:14 pm
My name is Varg Vikernes and I play in Burzum
The guy I killed, intended to kill country music…..so I killed him before he managed to kill country music.
He tried but he failed, miserably….
….obviously he’s dead!
September 11, 2013 @ 7:46 am
I tried to listen to this CD. I did not buy it thank god. I got to about track 7 maybe? There is like 18 tracks! I found myself praying to go deaf if this shit is where country music is headed. Whats with the drum tracks added? This should not be in the country category because Luke Bryan has a southern accent. It should be in pop. I tried after the 3rd or 4th song to listen like it was a pop cd released and it was just as bad. My wife loves pop music so i threw it on her ipod. she gave it a listen or 2 and a couple days later asked if I could remove it off her ipod. My wife has terrible music tastes and thought this was bad. Your article is spot on. I think I need to cleanse myself now and listen to 7 days of George Strait.
I am still baffled how someone thought this sounded good for any type of music and said “there, we got it. that’s the cd we want to release”. If I was that bad at my job I’d be unemployed!
September 11, 2013 @ 2:10 pm
Luke Bryan is way more successful than you will ever be. This rant leads me to believe that you are incredibly jealous of him. I don’t see how his or any other country music is affecting you so badly. There’s so much that is wrong with a lot of other musicians in this world… Like “Miley Cyrus” who teaches young teenage girls bad morals. Oh and just for the record, it’s not just teenage girls and their mothers who want to “fuck” Luke Bryan….. ;).
September 12, 2013 @ 12:30 pm
Shawn, you are a fantastic idiot. I hope that was sarcasm or else you taste in music revolves around “chew tobacco chew tobacco spit” and Rascal Flats. It is douche bags like yourself that allow this garbage. Please stay off this page until your ears grow up.
September 12, 2013 @ 12:16 pm
You must buy two copies of this cd,, one to shit on, and the other to cover it up with. The only thing entertaining about this garbage is the RANT. They even sample a turntable when you hit the stop button. A new low indeed. I hate myself but I feel violent to this ass clown. I am doing my best not to shot my monitor. Kindergarten pop country must go far far away. Now I must cleanse myself with some Sturgill Simpson…
September 12, 2013 @ 6:49 pm
I was listening to terrestrial radio today in the car. Heard this song come on and changed it to another country station. It was on that one too. Changed it again to yet another country station and thankfully it wasn’t on there. Should have switched over to the satellite radio the moment I heard it the first time.
September 16, 2013 @ 8:32 am
Alright so obviously Luke Bryan is choking on a cow dick throughout most of this song. Even if you like rap… T-pain really. What is wrong with this world? I am a woman in my mid 20s know that according to society I should be flashing my ovrsized fake tits at this shit. People just eat this stuff up with a spoon. its a straight up assault to humanity the way women put this shit on a pedestal. I love music of all genres and do love true talent. But crap like this is a prime example of selling your soul and publicly embarrassing yourself for money. For all you people that get off on being fake and disturbing…….Its sad (I’m really suprised at how many tools are around)….. I guess birds of a feather all fly together.
September 16, 2013 @ 9:05 am
Just curious, what exactly DO you flash your oversized fake tits at?
Sorry, couldn’t resist.
September 16, 2013 @ 10:18 am
Ha ha I don’t have those. I was just saying in genral. Guess I should have phrased that differently
September 16, 2013 @ 7:34 pm
Yeah, he “broadened his dea” among other things, I bet. What a manufactured piece of crap. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJp8KQewjYo
I hated him then, and I hate him more now.
September 16, 2013 @ 7:37 pm
Deal. Broadened his deal. And sphincter. Sure he broadened that, too.
September 17, 2013 @ 4:33 am
By the way, further research shows that it’s not actually a banjo, it’s Luke’s “dildo”. They make it look that way to he can bring it on stage with him.
September 17, 2013 @ 4:43 pm
Is Luke Bryan part of my plan to destroy country music? OF COURSE!!!!
September 18, 2013 @ 2:29 am
It’s still a good three months until the end of 2013, yet country music has already outdid itself several times on its path towards self-destruction. Blake Shelton did the horrible “Boys Round Here” with its red-red-red-redneck crap. Jason Aldean sought to replicate the success of “Dirt Road Anthem” with the more horrible “1994.” Florida Georgia Line teams up with Nelly to create the greatest country music chart hit in history! Not to be outdone, ACM Entertainer of the Year Luke Bryan sings about “Conway and T-Pain” and “making it rain” in “That’s My Kind of Night.” I cannot wait who’s going next!
November 16, 2013 @ 9:29 pm
I read through all of the comments and I have to chime in here. The reason the one poster likes this song is because she is a Lady Gaga fan. Listen to the song “Bad Romance” and tell me its not the same f-ing song!!!!!! Also, not into conspiracy theories but the video has some pretty obvious illuminati references (and Lady Gaga is pretty well known for this as well). He for sure drank the koolaid.
November 16, 2013 @ 10:18 pm
That comparison is an insult to “Bad Romance”. Even “Bad Romance” has a much better melody than this song.
The fact that a #1 “country” song is closer to rap than a Lady Gaga song tell us everything we need to know about the current state of mainstream country music.
April 26, 2014 @ 2:16 am
Y’all just need to calm your tits. I’m getting so annoyed with everyone bashing him so hard over this fucking song. Yeah, when I first turned on the album & I heard this song, I was a little turned off but so what??? Has anyone here taken the time to listen to the whole Crash My Party album? Other than That’s My Kind of Night, the album is pretty damn good. I didn’t see anyone whining & bitching when Nelly sang with Tim McGraw. So what Luke uses some rap & pop elements!! If you don’t like it, then go back to your crappy whiney ass depressing bullshit talking about “oh my wife left my & my dog died”. You’re all bitching about country not being the same. I’d rather listen to Luke’s upbeat songs about having a good time than the boring, depressing, lame garbage country you’re comparing Luke to.
June 26, 2014 @ 7:51 pm
um so if luke bryan sucks so bad and if that song is so terrible then why did he sell out heinz field with more than 50,000 people there just to see him sing? and the name of the tour is “that’s my kind of night” so I think if the song was actually that terrible, he wouldn’t be selling out stadiums. the actual thought that you wrote this stuff about my idol is sickening & you officially ruined my night. maybe you should think a little more into this stuff before you fucking bash on someone who is a great singer, songwriter, and performer. & the song wouldn’t have gone number one if people didn’t like it. so just stop being a bastard and do something better with your life than sitting behind a computer screen and bash on extremely talented singers. k? bye👋
June 26, 2014 @ 8:17 pm
Y’all need to shut the FUCK UP!! Luke Bryan is perfect y’all just jealous because of how good of a singer he is. Just because you don’t got the looks like him or a (excuse this) a fucking large and straight penis ( because yours is curved) like him don’t mean you got to post all this shit for real
June 26, 2014 @ 8:36 pm
lol, well then.
June 28, 2014 @ 4:05 pm
You obviously don’t know anything about Luke. He is the most generous and loving person I’ve ever known. He is not “more of a machine than man”. I have more respect in the world for him. If you’ve ever seen him off stage then you would know that he is the best dad and husband ever. His music isn’t horrible and especially not “That’s My Kind Of Night”. If it was that terrible of a song then it wouldn’t be the headline of his tour That’s My Kind of Night. You obviously don’t know anything about country music. Also, Luke isn’t some kind of womanizer. He’s actually the opposite. His wife, Caroline, said in an interview that he never really made a move because he was afraid that he might do something wrong and he didn’t want to cross a line. That doesn’t sound like someone who take advantage of a woman like you make him out to sound. So before you go and make some article about something you have no clue about; don’t. Just because you don’t like someone’s music doesn’t mean you have to completely bash them and everything else in country music.
July 21, 2014 @ 11:36 pm
I know this is old but i had to come back and comment, i just found out that there are people who listen to this song that think when he says Conway that hes trying to say Kanye and hes just pronouncing it wrong!
October 20, 2014 @ 5:44 pm
I am upset that you could say such a thing about someone. I don’t care if you like his music or not. You should not be running your mouth on the Internet about Luke Bryan. I have to say, some of his music is more upbeat and popish, but if you would listen to one other song by him, such as you don’t know jack (and yes this happens to emply perfeclty tonwhat you know) then you would know that he is in fact a good country singer. Maybe next time you decide to go on a rant about something you know zero about, do some research. Either that or be a respectful person and keep your mouth shut. Sorry is this rude? Now you know how Luke Bryan would feel if he read this.
October 20, 2014 @ 6:06 pm
I don”™t care if you like his music or not.
Yeah you do, or you’da kept your trap shut.
Here. Have some real music.
November 14, 2014 @ 11:43 pm
As much as this song is fucking horrible with the whole row, row, row your boat shit, and everything else in it, what bothers me the most about this guy is his voice. Dude sounds like fucking Kermit the frog for fucks sake.
April 27, 2015 @ 11:22 am
It’s always been my observation that people tend to project their own personality on others. In otherwise, if you’re a jerk, you will tend to assume that everyone else is a jerk. If you’re into drugs, you’ll tend to assume that everyone else is a user.
“real good feel good stuff up under the seat of my jacked up pickup truck”… ummm, subwoofers, dude.
Source: not a drug user
February 25, 2023 @ 10:38 am
actually, dickbag, T-Pain can sing without auto-tune. I’m guessing you’ve never heard “Keep Going”. the autotune is a sonic choice.
I know you’re afraid of Black people though.