Man Loses Bet, Must Spend Entire Day at Jason Aldean’s Bar
Better him than me. About the only reason you’d ever see this lil’ buckaroo anywhere near Jason Aldean’s monstrosity on Lower Broadway in Nashville is if was involved losing a bet. That’s basically the reason one Fantasy Footballer was forced to spend the day at Jason Aldean’s Kitchen + Rooftop Bar on Sunday (1-5). When he started Tweeting updates during his living hell, his story went viral.
“PUNISHMENT: Stay at Jason Aldean’s on Broadway in Nashville from open to close. (10 AM – 3 AM),” X/Twitter user @stoned_titan tweeted Sunday morning. He claims to be a Nashville resident and a former Division 1 quarterback. A wrinkle in the rules also allowed him to use the overpriced drinks at the bar as time served.
“A beer – removes 30 minutes. A shot of rumple – removes an hour. No leaving the bar for any reason,” he explained. “A lot of people telling me ‘this should be easy! You’re in your 20’s!’ I am the stoned titan for a reason. I don’t drink. I’m a local to Nashville. This is my personal hell. Also, IM PAYING FOR (most of) THESE F–KIN DRINKS. ON BROADWAY.”
You have to appreciate that as much as you might be abhorred personally at the idea of spending time in Jason Aldean’s bar on Lower Broadway, it’s exacerbated when you’re a local Nashville resident. From a local’s standpoint, spending any time on Lower Broadway is living hell.
So it can’t be too surprising that our protagonist, Mr. Stoned Titan, starting shooting Rumple Minze to end the nightmare sooner than later. For the uninitiated, Rumple Minze is a German liqueur that tastes like Listerine, with its 100-proof purity guaranteed to result in one hellacious hangover. But after a few hours of Bachelorette parties braying along to bad cover bands, and gawking tourists hoping to catch a glimpse of Jason Aldean, it’s not a bad trade-off.
Stoned Titan ended up shooting 13 Rumple Minze at $13 a piece just to get out of Jason Aldean’s dunce house sooner than later, tweeting an update each time he took a shot.
At about 7:00 PM he said, “Okay I think have to call it. It’s all catching up to me. This was a unique experience and I appreciate everyone following along. Tune in tomorrow to see how I bitch about how I feel,” while posting a photo of his $169.00 tab.
For the record, if you equate 1 shot = hour, it appears Stoned Titan fulfilled his obligation and then some. His fantasy football league commissioner actually showed up to pay his bill off for him, and Jason Aldean himself chimed in too, saying, “First round is on me.”
Props to Mr. Chub for being a good sport about the whole thing, and we hope Stoned Titan’s hangover isn’t too terrible today.
January 6, 2025 @ 9:53 am
So what would a similar Nashville punishment be for one of those bachelorettes? Spending an alcohol-free evening at the Bluebird?
January 6, 2025 @ 10:14 am
My personal hell would involve being forced to listen to people talk about Fantasy Football or forced to listen to sports talk radio for an entire day.
Or having to listen to Zach Bryan for an entire day.
January 6, 2025 @ 11:37 am
Strait with the only comment that needed commenting. Nice.
I’d wager that Trigger spends a lot of time on Lower Broadway. Lots of time. Trigger seems to dislike bourbon and apparently only drinks White Claw or something like you see in Tyler Hubbard and Dustin Lynch videos.
But I still love Trigger. He’s doing what needs doing in Country Music and that is attempting to rescue it from the pathogen infecting it from the bottom up with the likes of Rolls of Jelly and Browns of Kane.
Ever notice that Trigger goes out of his way to not lay into Kane Brown a lot? Why is that, Trigger? Is his team paying you to stay back if you can’t say anything good about that talentless hack? I mean, we’re talking about a dude who still sounds horrible WHILE PITCH CORRECTING HIS VOCALS!
Here’s to a more honest SCM going forward into 2025!
January 6, 2025 @ 11:45 am
If you don’t think I’ve levied enough criticism at Kane Brown, you need to use the search window and check this site’s archives. I was in full-throated rebellion against him early in his career. Over the last few years he’s established himself as a B-level star, so there just not a whole lot of reason to mention him. There’s bigger fish to fry. But he made my “Worst Songs of 2024” list, so I don’t know what else you want from me.
January 6, 2025 @ 12:16 pm
Kane Brown hasn’t really been relevant since he got lost in the woods that he owned.
January 6, 2025 @ 1:34 pm
I don’t think Brown has ever found his way out of the woods yet.
January 7, 2025 @ 10:04 am
He was once relevant?
January 6, 2025 @ 1:14 pm
Jesus. Can you imagine the garbage on the jukebox there? Nothing but coors ultra light and white claw on tap. Bathrooms not cleaned since the Taft administration. I’d just fake my own death instead.
January 6, 2025 @ 8:03 pm
I’m sure it’s AMI or TouchTunes or some similar internet jukevox so literally everything is on it. But given the target clientelle, I’m sure the queue is perpetually loaded with crap.
I think I’ll find out what service they use and start playing “It’s Raining Men” by the Weathergirls for them a few times a night.
January 6, 2025 @ 2:00 pm
I survived the evening at Keino’s 70’s Disco Heaven in Puerto del Carmen, Lanzarote (spanish island) 6 years ago, during a heatwave, drinking cheap dutch beer.
The Stoned Titan is a whimp.
January 6, 2025 @ 3:00 pm
We were just at the Gatlinburg one last week. Wasn’t the worst, but not worth writing home about. Overcrowded and the cover band had the auto tune cranked to 10, even though they did cover some great 90s country.
January 6, 2025 @ 8:12 pm
I can think of worse places to spend my day…Like listening to Jelly Roll, Posty, and other pop country trash on a music loop in one place for hours.
January 6, 2025 @ 8:38 pm
It may be safer than walking near Morgan Wallen’s bar.
January 7, 2025 @ 10:58 am
I had a couple ask us for recommendations for places on the Lower Broadway strip. Granted this couple doesn’t listen to Country, but I steered them to Robert’s. They HATED the place and HATED the band onstage. I asked them ” after you left Robert’s what was your next stop”?
They said Kid Rocks bar. I was astonished to hear that, but they liked it so much they spent two evenings there. Go figure. I asked them if Kids place had Country playing, they said mostly classic rock which to them was light years better than twang Country.
What do say to that? Write it off to personal taste.
January 8, 2025 @ 3:32 pm
Layla’s or AJ’s are safe bets if people prefer 90’s Country or even more rockabilly. Robert’s is definitely the best imo.
January 8, 2025 @ 10:12 am
When I lived in Nashville, the only bar worth going to was Mulligan’s.
January 10, 2025 @ 12:46 pm
Punishment: spending the day at Aldean’s, then forced to line dance to Cowboy Carter tunes all night…
January 11, 2025 @ 2:08 pm
Hope he isn’t a black man.Jason may sing “Try That In A Small Town,” and invite in Morgan Wallen to call him,ummmmm………………..
January 13, 2025 @ 7:29 am
What’s that got to do with black men?
Lots of black men lives in small towns, and they won’t tolerate riots or carjackings in their neighbourhood. Neither will the brown men, white men, red men or yellow men.