Brantley Gilbert’s “Bottoms Up” (A Rant)
Warning: language
In this the season of giving, can we all at least come together as one, regardless of sex, race, orientation, creed, religious, political or social status, or cultural background, and swallow our collective differences, hold hands in the common bond of humanity in a rising chorus of hosannas, and all universally decree that Brantley Gilbert is the biggest douche ass to ever suck air on planet Earth?
Such a gift from heaven it has been to not have Brantley terrorizing us with new music for a good long while. But apparently Brantley was just resting up, refining his putrid exploration into the very innermost reaches of human vanity and self-ingratiation to then unleash upon his trashy fans with the sweet residue of methamphetamine glistening on the edges of their inflamed nostrils, the purest form of raging narcissism ever witnessed in Western Civilization in the construct of his new diarrhetic single “Bottoms Up,” and it’s accompanying video.
Some may want to tell Brantley Gilbert to go fuck himself for putting out such an awful song, but in Brantley Gilbert’s self-centered world, truly fucking himself would be the fulfillment of his wildest dreams. The video for “Bottoms Up” starts with a bunch of submissive prohibition-era flapper girls doing all the heavy lifting—loading up crates of bootleg alcohol into Brantley’s motor carriage, while Brantley orders them around, flexing his back muscles and showing off his water pistols for the camera. Yes, what a gentleman. Then what ensues is the most self-absorbed 5 minutes one can witness this side of masturbating to oneself in a mirror.
Like many of it’s sonic peers originating from mainstream country music males right now, “Bottoms Up” offers absolutely no redeeming nutritional value to its listeners whatsoever. It simply beats its audience over the head with a servile sense of rabid shallowness and wanton materialistic consumerism conveyed with Nickelback stylings underlayed by a buried banjo track. Joey Moi eat your heart out. About the only thing “Bottoms Up” is good for is supplying the soundtrack to a 16-year-old’s first drinking escapade subsequently followed by throwing up in a Taco Bell parking lot.
At one point in the video, three women are surrounding Brantley, rubbing their hands all over him. But these girls aren’t copping a feel, their feverishly searching for Brantley’s beleaguered genitals that have taken the form of two acorns flanking a Vienna sausage that then fled up into his abdomen like a rodent scampering into its hole—the result of a tireless regimen of prolonged steroid abuse; hence the nonstop, headlong pursuit of this song and video to compensate and dramatically oversell Brantley’s manly prowess and masculine superiority.
One interesting part about this song and video is the premise is all based around alcohol and drinking. Brantley is cast as a bootleger and party Barron, but in real life he swore off the sauce over 2 years ago, or supposedly did. Hey, I commend Brantley’s sobriety if it’s still ongoing and applaud his discipline, but it really doesn’t lend to the sincerity of whatever muddled, mumble-speaking and Ebonics-inflected message Brantley is trying to convey in this “Bottoms Up” monstrosity. Brantley may have a brass knuckles handle for his microphone to show just how much of a hard knocker he is, but his preferred beverage is more akin to 2% milk than 90-proof moonshine.
The video ends with Brantley pulling up to his hideout, and despite him being such a badass that he could impregnate three women at the same time simply by starring at them from across the room, he fails to notice the sheriff’s car parked 15 yards away from his illegal still shack. I don’t want to come across as too sensitive or gratuitous by saying the video for “Bottoms Up” ends with a cop killing scene similar to something Ice-T would dream up circa 1990, but man, that is certainly what it looks like. Sure, this is all make-believe, but the murdering of Brantley Gilbert’s dignity in “Bottoms Up” is very, very real.
You didn’t bottom up Brantley, you bottomed out.
Two guns way down.
July 7, 2014 @ 8:58 am
Wow. I just saw this video by accident because I was watching something on CMT last night and woke up to this fuking idiot trying to sing or rap about the same old new country bullshit about drinking and playing circle jerk or what ever the fuck this ignorant pissant considers partying like a gangsta in the 1920’s “with the tailgates down.” How sophisticated one’s mind has to be to think of those two big words……. up and cup to rhyme and make it the chorus to the song!
As a fan of real Outlaw COUNTRY….Willie, Waylon, Johnny, Merle, etc….I can’t believe how downhill country has gotten. It’s sad that it appeals to such a large mass of people. I imagine the people that like this crap are as bright as those idiots on CMT’s “Party Down South.”. Yeehaw lets throw up, drink our piss, go out every night and never even come close to getting laid.
Willy…..look out this idiot Brantley might be able to produce such masterpieces like “Red Headed Stranger.’ Where each song actually tells a story about a poetic theme that is conveyed over a series of songs to represent a story.
I was so blown away at the sheer stupidity of this video that I came straight to my computer and did not changed the channel yet…..so now I’m hearing the next brilliant video/song that I believe must be entitled; “I’m getting drunk on a plane.” I have lost respect for the way country music has evolved. This really shows how ignorant the people making these artists money are these days? So go get your county gansta and beer pong on. I will keep my eyes out for the Avett Brothers or someone else that steps up with actual lyrics. Hell, even a sixteen year old Taylor Swift had more depth in her songwriting abilities then the crap that you hear these days.
July 7, 2014 @ 9:29 am
Wow. I just saw this video by accident because I was watching something on CMT last night and woke up to this fuking idiot trying to sing or rap about the same old new country bullshit about drinking and playing circle jerk or what ever the fuck this ignorant pissant considers partying like a gangsta in the 1920’s “with the tailgates down.” How sophisticated one’s mind has to be to think of those two big words……. up and cup to rhyme and make it the chorus to the song!
As a fan of real Outlaw COUNTRY….Willie, Waylon, Johnny, Merle, etc….I can’t believe how downhill country has gotten. It’s sad that it appeals to such a large mass of people.
Willy…..look out this idiot Brantley might be able to produce such masterpieces like “Red Headed Stranger.’ Where each song actually tells a story about a poetic theme that is conveyed over a series of songs to represent a story.
I was so blown away at the sheer stupidity of this video that I came straight to my computer and did not changed the channel yet…..so now I’m hearing the next brilliant video/song that I believe must be entitled; “I’m getting drunk on a plane.” I have lost respect for the way country music has evolved. This really shows how ignorant the people making these artists money are these days? So go get your county gansta on people. I will keep my eyes out for the Avett Brothers or someone else that steps up with actual lyrics. Hell, even a sixteen year old Taylor Swift had more depth in her songwriting abilities then the crap that you hear these days.
July 12, 2014 @ 5:56 pm
okay..I don’t know this guy..only reason he got my attention was when I heard him on the Awards…what caught my attention was guitar riff I heard on Michael Jackson’s Give In To Me…Slash played it and they got it from Metalica or another band..can’t think of the band..rap punk…during the 80’s…Out of all of them I enjoyed Give In To Me the best…Artists are always stealing from the best or sharing..take your pick…I didn’t like the Video Bottoms UP put with the song…I like Country…I’m not hard core…either I like it or I don’t…Don’t like Bottoms Up except for Guitar Riff..Otherwise..I also wanted to know what his crossed arms and fingers meant….what is he signaling…?
July 26, 2014 @ 8:57 pm
http://headlineplanet.com/home/2014/07/26/t-joins-brantley-gilbert-bottoms-remix/
Oh dear! Here we go again! -__-
The thing is, I don’t even consider “Bottoms Up” a crossover-friendly song. Granted “Bottoms Up” is heavy-handed on urban slang so lyrically it might have had an eye set on Rhythmic listeners from the onset………….but vocally I doubt Gilbert is going to connect to that kind of broader crowd and there has been a shortage of Urban-specific releases on Mainstream Top 40 as is (they usually are stonewalled in terms of chart performance between the high twenties and #35 on the Mainstream Top 40 chart)
I just don’t see this succeeding any more than the remix for “Drink To That All Night” did. The best bet for a viable crossover hit from a country entertainer that hasn’t already happened would be Luke Bryan with a “Play It Again” remix.
July 26, 2014 @ 8:58 pm
Or “country” entertainer, I should say! =P
August 2, 2014 @ 5:33 pm
I love BG. Proud to be part of the BGNation. Have already seen him in concert twice and am going again in September. Met him this past June as well. He was so nice and down to Earth. His songs all have a meaning behind them & I can relate to them. Jealously is a sickness & I think ya’ll have it! Keep it up BG!
July 6, 2015 @ 6:14 am
lol your comment is so funny
August 12, 2014 @ 3:04 pm
Jesus H. Christ. You’re all frothing at the mouth because you have an opinion about a SONG?
August 13, 2014 @ 10:52 pm
Seriously? Wow. So you don’t like BG. And? You have to write a grade A douche baggy “rant” about it? He is one of the FEW musicians who actually care enough about what they do to write their own music. I’d rather listen to someone singing a song that is their own, about their own life, than half of the garbage spewed across radio stations nation wide these days. As for him singing about drinking even though he’s sober, he’s been there, he’s done it and he’s a genuine enough person not to degrade other people because they live differently than he does. What it really comes down to is this…you don’t like it? Don’t listen. Be a man about it. Don’t whine like a petulent child to anyone on the internet who’ll listen. Other wise, go build a snowman and f*ing LET IT GO.
May 19, 2015 @ 2:12 pm
Cassie, I totally agree with you. I’m a little late reading these posts, but LET THE CHARTS SPEAK FOR BRANTLEY GILBERT!!!! <3 <3 <3 I have met him multiple times and his humbleness and kindness to his fans speaks VOLUMES about his character!
July 6, 2015 @ 6:22 am
could hardly believe you defended Gilbert. I mean, you can’t be serious! you must be lying to yourself. You really think this song is intelligent and deserves to be listened because he wrote it? There is a lot of GREAT artists who care what they do and who do it with great style. and speaking of mainstream realm, you can tell me that Gilbert is better than Jason aldean and I might agree. but you really can’t tell me he’s better than Alan Jackson, Dierks Bentley, Tim McGraw, Brad Paisley, Kenny Chesney, Carrie Underwood, Kacey Musgraves, Gary Allan, David Nail, Keith Urban, Sara Evans, George Strait, Chris Young, Easton Corbin, Joe Nichols, Maddie and Tae and many more!!!
July 26, 2016 @ 5:32 pm
No doubt. This guy is sitting in his studio apartment in the city, bashing a true country boy. Then he attacks another mans genitalia??? Think there might be some personal issues there! Man up writer and stop crying. He’s making fans and millions and you’re still stuck here…
August 14, 2014 @ 3:41 am
Brantley Gilbert is an artist and a damn good one. The person who wrote this article is just displaying their jealousy toward him. To the ones who agree with this trash talk, doesn’t take much for you followers to kneel down and lick the devils nut sack does it. And by the way BG can order me around any day, that would be “the fulfillment of my wildest dreams”. #BGNation Bitches \m/
Don’t fight it your love for Brantley is💯
Just let it happen you will feel so much better
August 14, 2014 @ 6:04 pm
You people make me sick. You’re all a bunch of pathetic punks, Brantley Gilbert sings about what he believes in and about what he enjoys. You all should get over yourselves because, you weren’t able to achieve what you wanted in life, let him do him and you do you. Stop being so critical.
#BGNATION!!
August 20, 2014 @ 2:30 pm
Lmao, whole lotta shit talkers on here who just need their ass beat,what matters is what the fans think, not what worthless cant hack it critics think, for being so terrible, his bank account sure as hell is bigger than everyone on this page combined so drink an ice cold glass of shut the fuck up and grow some talent yourselves
August 20, 2014 @ 10:41 pm
This song, just like the rest of today’s Bro-Country, Pop bullshit, is awful. This song has NO substance whatsoever. Any fool can write a song about partying, drinking, or being a self-appointed badass. Just find some words to rhyme with drunk and you’ll have yourself a “hit.” THIS song and ALL of the other mainstream “country” songs are a slap in the face to REAL country music and a slap in the face to real country music fans. I’m all for freedom of artistry and doing what you want, but the fact that this is labeled “country music” baffles me to my core.
The real country music artists (Waylon Jennings, Hank Williams, Charley Pride, George Jones, Emmylou Harris, Loretta Lynn, Kris Kristofferson, Jerry Jeff Walker, Billy Joe Shaver, Johnny Cash, and many, MANY others) wrote/performed songs of substance that stood for the country music culture. Those were people who poured their souls out into their songs and you could feel it. This new bro-country, in no way, represents true country music. It is disgraceful, distasteful, and quite frankly, just plain awful.
Like George Jones said “This old world is full of singers, but just a few are chosen to tear your heart out when they sing…Who’s gonna fill their shoes?” I can damn sure tell you that NONE of these no-talent, money grubbing, fake “country” superstars will be the ones to do it….But I digress.
September 4, 2014 @ 6:58 am
What happened to Brantley. Since this song came out he has slipped even further. Go on YouTube and look up brantley gilbert at home and watch some old videos of him way back in the day. I seriously doubt he is aware of some of them, especially “lifesamovie”. You would not recognize him from the man he pretends to be today. If this is what happens whe he’s sober, it’s time to pick that bottle back up.
October 17, 2014 @ 3:04 pm
….. Google Outlaw MC….. THEN talk. Think about the refrences he makes in other songs. Listen to lick it in the sticks. Hes an Outlaw MC supporter…. But fuck doing research right? The first assumption of his meanings must be the correct one right?
October 22, 2014 @ 2:39 pm
Everybody who keeps on judging Mr Brantley Gilbert can fuck themselfs cause Brantley is an outstanding artist yall may not like this song but like brantley said in his interviews every song has it story every album is a chapter of his life
November 4, 2014 @ 9:47 am
You guys are just all jealous of Brantley Gilbert, Luke Bryan, Florida Georgia Line, and all of the other country singers. Just because all of you think there changing country music they can’t keep on singing the same thing over and over again. Country music might be changing but it doesn’t mean you have to judge the singers who are making really great music and are trying to make country music get changed a little bit. Not everything needs to be the same sometimes we need to change things up a little bit. So there is not really a point of judging the country singers. THANK YOU!!!
January 7, 2015 @ 1:03 pm
All I can say is yall are idiots. If you don’t like it, then don’t watch/listen to it. It’s that simple.
January 25, 2015 @ 8:19 pm
You guys dont like it dont listen but for hating on some one who actually did something with themselves. Is a jokw you no job college kids living of your parents and the government should actually get up and do something for yourselfs instead of tearing down other people j7st to make yourself feel important.
February 2, 2015 @ 8:55 am
Quote from the above: “But these girls aren”™t copping a feel, their feverishly searching for Brantley”™s beleaguered genitals…”
Note to the author:-
If you’re going to berate someone in such a prolifically profanity laden way for being ‘an un-educated douchebag’, make sure you don’t commit the ultimate irony of a glaringly obvious grammatical error. Furthermore this simple word selection error was placed in the middle of a ridiculously long run-on sentence that started with a conjunction, and finished with some kind of linked-hyphenated-list atrocity. Upon which you liberally sprinkled semi-colons and commas all over it like you were dusting a cake with copious amounts of flour, thereby stripping it of any meaning it once had.
My oxford English educated brain felt like it had been repeatedly slapped with a large, wet haddock and it took me several goes of reading that section before I translated it and worked out the meaning that I think you intended.
For future reference this song may help you avoid such monumental clangers: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Gv0H-vPoDc
Regards – a more educated douche than both of you.
April 27, 2015 @ 6:14 am
WOW, ignorant people in the world!!! You sir are obviously not from the south and are just a giant douche bag! To have wrote an artical/post about some one who is over coming being an alcoholic, having an alcoholic mother and father, watching my father over come his addiction and watching my mother not give two shits. I AM PROUD TO SAY that i am a BG fan!!!!! always have. for him to over come this addiction and still be able to sing about it and admit he has a problem is a HUGE step! once again you sir are just an ignorant douchbag!
April 27, 2015 @ 7:31 am
“WOW, ignorant people in the world!!! You sir are obviously not from the south”
I love how you chase an accusation of ignorance with a wild-eyed assumption that is completely false.
June 10, 2015 @ 10:31 pm
Whoever wrote this article is a complete idiot. Brantley Gilbert has some seriously kick ass writing skills. he’s able to capture moments of his life through these songs. Sounds like the writer has a serious case of envy, perhaps jealousy. I’m a huge fan of country music, today’s country is not the same as willie, Waylon or whoever, but look at rock, it also has changed. Your opinion of him is probably based on the character in this one song. Shouldn’t it be your job as a writer to collect all info before you label. What a freaking douche!!! Go back to opryland and find the old classics, you so desperately need and leave the new stuff to us. Of course you could do us all a favor by not listening. Or next time, if you get lucky enough to meet Mr. gilbert ask him to drop trou along with yourself and pull out the measuring stick, clearly this is your biggest issue!
June 12, 2015 @ 9:34 am
Not a BG fan. He appears to be very self centered . After watching this video and his endorsement for killing a police officer I am left totally disgusted. I get that were all not going to agree we like the same music, and he has every right to have his music aired on the radio but when he portrays himself as a thug who shoots a police officer for no cause, it is a disgrace to country music artists and their fans.
July 6, 2015 @ 6:27 am
review of the year Trigger! just leave these gilber-nation idiots alone, brantley gilbert is the king of the douchebags
September 10, 2015 @ 7:54 pm
Whew! Give it a rest honey! Just because you can’t get that Johnson hard (or bigger) no matter how hard you jack it (fervently) doesn’t mean you have to break bad on ole BG!!!! It’s ALL entertainment sweetie pie! for the record, I’m in my 80’s and the way he acts in the video is EXACTLY how men, and the general establishment treated women back then. there’s a bunch of old books out there from the 40’s and 50’s that instruct women how to act and dress and treat their men. Like “make sure the children are quite when you husband gets home from work because he has worked hard and had a stressful day”. It is, (or was) what it is/was! he’s just making a video tat is era-correct. I have an idea. Chill out and go burn your bra in San Francisco or something. Such anger. Phuquing Douche’ you……Roll that puppy up and smoke it…. Oh yea… your generation didn’t invent ganga…Just like you didn’t invent wild sex like you think you did. Makes me laugh. Every generation thinks they “discovered” sex. Honey, the shit that went on in the 20’s would make your toes curl! You didn’t “discover” nothing.
February 21, 2016 @ 1:18 am
Whoever hates on Brantley Gilbert is a fucking dumbass, I give no fucks who you are if you disrespect brantley for being a huge success who makes badass music then go Fuck yourself. Hell he’s probably done more work then you ever have because you probably bitch all goddamn day because you have to do some stupid ass useless job. Unless you have written and performed multiple hit songs then shut your fucking mouth.
May 31, 2016 @ 7:13 am
The same people belly aching are the same ones that support the pop country movement. The same ones that cast the likes of Cash, Williams, Paycheck, etc to the curb saying they weren’t country. Your lack of understanding is disgraceful to the likes of outlaw country (aka real country). Take your trend following somewhere else.
May 31, 2016 @ 12:02 pm
Really? You might want to poke around this site a bit.
August 19, 2018 @ 6:14 am
Wasn’t aware that BG had so many touchy fangirls.
October 9, 2019 @ 8:48 am
well, although gilbert isn’t the best country singer even in his family, that amount of hate..
did he bullied you in highschool? had sex with your girlfriend? seriously bro..
September 6, 2024 @ 10:30 pm
I know this is a few years old post but… Since when did y’all keyboard tough guys get a PhD in Your Opinion?
It looks to me that Brantley Gilbert is at the top. And where are y’all again? Tulips..