Florida Georgia Line to Ruin 12 Country Fests After Reunification
Ready your rape kits, local municipalities. As if things weren’t bad enough in America with massive inflation, rising interest rates, record high gas prices, and the impending onslaught of AI exterminating us all, Bro-Country pioneers Florida Georgia Line have officially reunited with intention of ruining 12 upcoming “country” festivals in 2027. I’m pretty sure there’s a parallel to this from John The Baptist in the Book of Revelations.
Stagecoach in Indio, California was the first to announce that due to a lack of available talent or any sort of artistic standards whatsoever, they would shove Florida Georgia Line onto their lineup. But it’s interesting that even though this will likely be the very first date the reunified duo plays, they couldn’t even knock Zach Top out of a headliner spot, and are instead playing the afterparty with 3-time accused rapist Diplo, and chef Guy Fieri.
Stagecoach is the first to be hoodwinked by the band’s promoters into thinking there’s any significant public appetite for this. Why is FGL playing festivals instead of going on a big reunification arena tour? Because this bullsh-t has blue dot fever written all over it. You think the scenes of empty seats and Ticketmaster’s blue dot seating charts from this year’s Post Malone/Jelly Roll tour were bad? Wait until they tried to roll this out coast to coast.
There’s a bit of irony in how the promo shot for this festival “tour” shows tweedledee and tweedledum sitting in a row of empty blue arena seats. Because that’s what would await them if they tried to do this without being bolstered by the rest of a festival card. Even many Morgan Wallen fans are over it, and this duo and their songs aren’t old enough to be graced by the 25-year retro cycle yet.
Not to say there isn’t any nostalgic appetite for what this duo does among methed-out parents who’ve lost custody of their kids and can pay for tickets via a Medicaid scam. Sure, some people with a level of dental hygiene also have a hankering to hear Tyler Hubbard bray through an Autotuner about jacked up trucks and bikini lines because they don’t know any better. But the world has moved on to music that actually means something, and actually sounds country.
Even the Tyler Hubbard solo career can’t sell tickets. He’s literally opening shows for Dan + Shay at the moment. Talk about a fall from grace. The Band Perry, eat your heart out.
Carolina Country Fest in June of 2027 has also announced them for the lineup. Super weak
Hopefully Florida Georgia Line is a pox on every festival that books them.
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September 16, 2026 @ 10:56 am
Headline of the year Trig
September 16, 2026 @ 11:16 am
It is absolutely incredible news to hear that Florida Georgia Line is reuniting for the upcoming festival season. Their energy and hit-making ability have been deeply missed on the big stage, and their return is exactly what the genre needs right now.
For many fans, this reunion feels like a massive win for traditional, high-energy country music at a time when outside political influences and leftist factions seem to be shifting the genre away from its roots. Having FGL back together brings a sense of authenticity and pure entertainment back to the forefront, helping to protect and preserve the core spirit of country music that audiences truly love. Festivals are about to be unforgettable with them back on the lineup.
And as much as I love the Triggerman like he’s my own brother, he wants it both ways. He likes to piss and moans about yankees like Stella Lefty being industry plants, all without directly addressing the fact she’s a yankee, while also complaining about two guys from Florida and Georgia playing music that was embraced by the industry of country music , as well as the biggest names in the industry (see anti-2A Tim McGraw), for the better part of a decade. Maybe it’s a not-from-Texas bias, that many of us have experienced around here by the way, that drives Rigg’s hatred for the boys? As I’ve said before, at least Florida Georgia Line are out there trying and giving it their best effort, while there are plenty of country music artists, including country music pontificators, that have hung it up and you hardly ever hear from at all, such as Fuzzy Two Shirts, RD and King Honky that he rarely if ever get the pleasure of reading.
September 16, 2026 @ 11:23 am
The rape joke at the top is significantly out of touch here. And say what you want about the music, I tend to agree, but to say FGL couldn’t sell tickets is laughable. Love em or hate em the demand is there and you’re kidding yourself to think otherwise. Not saying it’s a good thing by any means, but just because it isn’t your cup of tea doesn’t mean there isn’t public demand for this reunion. Look at Wallen.
September 16, 2026 @ 12:28 pm
Obviously it was a joke.
But the rise of Bro-Country paralleled a dramatic rise in the amount of violence, arrests, fights, and specifically rapes at country music festivals. This became a national narrative in 2014 with major publications all across the United States covering it. Specifically, rapper Nelly was accused of rape while on tour with Florida Georgia Line, and they refused to remove him from the tour while he faced the charges.
Some links:
https://savingcountrymusic.com/from-checklist-to-bro-country-the-subversion-of-country-music/
https://savingcountrymusic.com/rapper-nelly-arrested-for-rape-on-florida-georgia-line-tour/
https://savingcountrymusic.com/gang-rape-reported-at-michigans-faster-horses-festival/
https://savingcountrymusic.com/man-accused-of-rape-at-keith-urban-concert-while-others-watch/
I agree that the appeal for this reunification is not nothing. And even though this was supposed to be a sarcastic article, I still acknowledged that. But I also very firmly believe that the reason they’re reuniting for a “festival” tour is because they know this tour could be a disaster if they tried to put it in arenas or even amphitheaters. Festivals usually pay 125% over a artist’s boxscore in a given market. Florida Georgia Line can cite their previous tour stats and draw large guarantees without taking a big risk on a major tour. It’s kind of a genius move to be frank. But make no mistake about it, if they felt like they could fill ampitheaters, that’s what they would be doing.
September 16, 2026 @ 11:23 am
Here they come, 2027 CMA Duo of the Year Nominees!!!! LOL
September 16, 2026 @ 11:24 am
“Ready your rape kits, local municipalities.”
I mean, if that doesn’t win you a Pulitzer Prize, there is no hope for any of us.
September 16, 2026 @ 11:38 am
Someone launch the nukes.