Saving Country Music’s WORST Songs of 2017
WARNING: Language
Man did Music Row in Nashville turn in a whole slew of stinkers this year, setting new lows for the substance, and non-country-ness of “country” songs in 2017. This year was a great example of how you should never think it can’t get any worse, because it can, and did, and by a long stretch.
Granted, overall it feels like country music is improving, including in the mainstream, at least marginally. But you won’t find any evidence of that here. And please, no bellyaching about how we should focus on the positive. Feel free to peruse Saving Country Music’s Album of the Year nominees and Song of the Year nominees if you’re looking for something good. But this is a moment to call the dogs out and hold there feet to the fire.
Sam Hunt – “Body Like a Backroad”
To release a song called “Body Like a Backroad” in the year of our Lord 2017, after we suffered through five years of embarrassment as a genre at the hands of the Bro-Country scourge, it goes so far beyond aggressively cliché, it’s just downright grotesque. The level of objectification and misogyny in this song would make the quarter-century dead corpse of Conway Twitty writhe as if it was in an epileptic fit. Even Florida Georgia Line isn’t stupid enough to release a song like this, and they still have to recite the story of the rabbit going down the hole to get their fucking shoes tied every morning.
“Body Like a Backroad,” despite the Herculean efforts of Sam Hunt’s back catalog of audio abominations, somehow, inexplicably, sets a new low for this country music interloping pop star who would fuck off the entire 90 year history of country music if it meant getting a hit in a format where he not only doesn’t belong, but defines the absolute antithesis of—the perfect antonym to—and only continues to hang around because he knows he would get his ass handed to him if he tried his hand in the pop format with this vomitous dreck.
I want to see all you Sam Hunt apologists—you know who you are; the ones that work at entertainment outlets that only know country music from the outside looking in and say about Sam Hunt, “Gee I didn’t know I liked country music until I heard him,”—come and defend this abortion. It’s been flabbergasting heretofore to see critics give Sam Hunt a pass simply because he’s a guilty pleasure for them, and turn songs about getting a hand job in the back of a downtown taxi into some important, forthright expression of our time that deftly blends modern themes with small town sensibilities. Sam Hunt is Mad Lib lyrics overlaying shitty electronic beats thrown together in 30 minutes. And his haircuts suck. (read more)
Dylan Scott – “My Girl”
Dylan Scott is a genuine, authentic, corn-fed, down home, Southern-raised, good-ol’ classic American dickhead my friends, and he’s looking to abscond with more than his fair share of the American dream by dropping the zipper on his $1,200 fashion-ripped jeans and rubbing his nutsack all over everything true country music fans celebrate and hold dear just so he can afford a really bad ass truck and screw hot Vandy chicks he Svengali’s in the douchiest bars in Nashville into thinking he deserves to be a star.
Heretofore, Dylan Scott’s biggest claim to fame was the dubious, ill-begotten decision to invite Chewbacca Mom into the hallowed circle at center stage of the Grand Ole Opry to “perform.” This is a formulaic, Mad Lib-style, paint-by-the-numbers, women as a possession truck rap with fake piano imposed on a generic pop song, propped up solely by the perfectitude of Dylan Scott’s pectoral muscles and the come hither sturdiness of his jaw. The only reason anyone is paying attention to “My Girl” is because dumb chicks want to screw him. I’m embarrassed for streaming this thing on Spotify and allowing 1/10th of $0.00002 cents to go to this son-of-a-biscuit. I pray all of the original members of The Temptations are dead so they don’t have to endure witnessing such an iconic song title be sullied by this tool. Otis Williams is still alive you say? Well hopefully his hearing sucks.
And ladies, no matter how cute they are, no matter how charming they may be, no matter how ravishing they may look in a lycra-blended super thin cotton tee spray-painted on by some Hollywood image designer and have every hair on their head expertly coiffed, if a guy ever tells you how how good you look in his truck, and calls you “baby girl,” then for the love of all things holy and the imperative preservation of the gene pool, don’t, and I mean never, no matter how large temptation looms, ever ever under any circumstances fuck them. (read more)
Chris Janson – “Fix A Drink”
You want to talk about musical “evolution”? This song is like some sort of reverse engineered audio trigger formulated by a comic book archenemy to cause mankind to swing a U-turn in the evolutionary process where all people want to do is purchase full size trucks, hang out near bodies of water, and drink themselves into a stupor so that an evil regime can waltz right into the places of power and seize ultimate control due to the widespread lethargy and indifference throughout society. With songs like this being blasted out to the teeming masses, soon the social order in society will be determined by who picks ticks off each other’s backs, and we’ll be slinging our own poo at each other to settle differences.
“Fix A Drink” isn’t a delicately-crafted beverage made with only the finest ingredients by a season mixologist using feel and instinct to make signature and customized liquid magic, it’s jiggered-by-the-book watered-down swill served up by an Applebee’s fry cook covering the bar’s swing shift because the real bartender had the shits. Funny thing is, Chris Janson’s been out there for the last year or so trying to sell records by pulling at people’s heartstrings about his hard fought sobriety. He was an inspiration to people for overcoming obscurity as a struggling songwriter and putting his family first. Now all of a sudden he’s the drunk-in-chief personally pushing the sauce because that’s what the record label wants. What a piece of shit move. Forget authenticity arguments, this guy is a downright sleaze. (read more)
The Chainsmokers w/ Florida Georgia Line – “Last Day Alive”
The only thing perfect about this song is the title, “Last Day Alive.” Because pairing these two titular duos of our time together falls only inches short of looking up in the beautiful American sky one bright morning only to see an unholy, vicious crag form for the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse to come trundling through to usher in the absolute annihilation of every piece of living matter on the planet via the waves of pestilence which are the voices of Florida Georgia Line so mercilessly Auto-tuned to a crisp, and the fuckstick wastes of oxygen that are the Chainsmokers standing behind a podium pushing buttons on computers under the artifice of making “music” like Lucifer’s angels architecting of the final eradication of all mankind.
Tyler Hubbard of Florida Georgia Line recently called this collaboration “a God thing.” I think a Satan thing is perhaps more appropriate. This Apocalyptic pairing for “Last Day Alive” inspires such an apoplectic response, you go from fearing your own death while in its audience, to praying for death to alleviate the suffering it bestows. (read more)
Canaan Smith – “Like You That Way”
Canaan Smith, Cole Swindell, Chase Bryant, Chase Rice, Chris Lane, who are these clowns? It’s like one douchebag with many faces. Their songs, their styles, their personalities are indistinguishable and interchangeable. They might as well be the same person. Nashville’s overcrowded enough these days. Just pick one of these guys and release all the music through them. Nobody would recognize the difference and it would free up a few more parking spaces downtown. Seriously.
Whatever a guy like “Canaan Smith” releases, you know it’s going to be a hit because he’s a young male signed to a major label. It doesn’t even matter what the song is. It’s preordained by the well-ordered Music Row system to make sure every major label remains flush with cabbage and in equal and ample portions. Canaan Smith made his name with a song called “Love You Like That” that name drops Tom Petty. Now he’s looking to take the next step with a song called “Like You That Way” that name drops Miranda Lambert. “Love You Like That” to “Like You That Way.” They’re not even trying to hide anymore how bereft of ideas and formulaic they’ve become.
It’s just the same song, from the same basic person, about the same stuff. Canaan Smith just happens to be the vessel they’ve chosen on this particular round. It’s his turn down the conveyor belt. Rearrange the words a little bit, up the tempo maybe because it’s the summer and people like up tempo stuff in the summer, right? And boom, here’s a summer hit. Take it or leave it, but you’ll probably have to take it because radio will ram it down your throat for the next four months. (read more)
Walker Hayes – “You Broke Up with Me”
Imagine your formative, adolescent self, all bright eyed and full of wonder, with rosy cheeks and peach fuzz, waking up to the sound of your parents having wild, loud, sweaty, uninhibited old people unprotected sex right beside you, and all the guttural utterances, moans, and other indiscernible and acrid noises thereof scarring your precious little ears in a post traumatic manner that will stick with you for eternity, and pursue you in every waking moment for the rest of your life.
This is how the new song from Sam Hunt knockoff and virtually nobody Walker Hayes called “You Broke Up with Me” starts off. And somehow, inexplicably, it discovers a path forward that despite the insurmountable odds, gets even worse from there. What we have with “You Broke Up with Me” is a song that doesn’t just draw and quarter any and all ideas of what quality or country music content is supposed to be, it expressly looks to achieve the exact scientifically certified diametrically opposed opposite sounds and themes to what actual country music is. This song is so bad, and Walker Hayes so devoid of talent, he can’t even fucking whistle right.
“You Broke Up with Me” is not just another shitty song. It is an extremely important moment in country music, where either a line in the sand is drawn, preserving the natural order and boundaries of what country music is, preserving the jobs of hundreds of world-class musicians who rely on the industry to pay their bills and raise their families. Or do we allow Shane McAnally, and some washed-up fuckstick with a laptop to take over the entire industry and remake it in a way that whitewashes country music’s vibrant and vital culture that gives identity to millions of people? (read more)
David Allan Coe w/ The Moonshine Bandits – “Take This Job & Shove It (remix)”
Look, I am an unapologetic David Allan Coe fan. I don’t care that his list of personal flaws is as long and flowing as the fake blonde locks adorning his otherwise prune shriveled head. Yes, David Allan Coe’s got problems. He doesn’t have a closet of skeletons, he’s got a living room full of them riding circles around him on those little Shriner motorcycles while he does rows of Jack shots off a residue and paraphernalia-cluttered coffee table. David Allan Coe is bat shit crazy and a certified country music wing nut if there every was one. But you can put his legacy of creative output up against 90% of the rest of country artists and it’ll kick their asses.
Nonetheless, I got no use for David Allan Coe with the country rap fucknards of the Moonshine Bandits prancing around him like a pink stuffed elephant they just won at the meth carnival for beating off a donkey, acting like Coe’s mere presence in any way legitimizes their imbecilic racket.
The only thing on God’s creation that is worse than country rap is 3rd tier country rap like the version The Moonshine Bandits peddle. When Kid Rock was sticking his tongue up Coe’s ass back in the 90’s, at least he was popular enough where it resulted in some otherwise culture-deprived hellions getting wise to real country music. The Moonshine Bandits ain’t no RUN DMC, and David Allan Coe ain’t no Aerosmith. If Coe had all his faculties about him circa 1974, he’d know The Moonshine Bandits got a big bag of nothing and would drive his Harley Davidson Panhead right up their asses and hard cuss anyone who tried to stop him. (read more)
Thomas Rhett – “Craving You”
If for nothing else, give Thomas Rhett credit for this: He’s taken an incredibly average set of marginal skills and talent, and made himself into a bona fide arena-level superstar. That in itself takes a level of cunning that your ordinary citizen doesn’t posses. Music Row in Nashville has an implausible knack for making mediocrity seem exceptional. Thomas Rhett couldn’t make his way out of even the most early stages of auditions for something like The Voice, and would have been laughed out of every song publishing house on Music Row in the 80’s. He can’t dance, and he has the stage presence of a cinder block.
Just like the effect of even the strongest of drugs, soon a tolerance becomes embedded in the population, leaving them with little to no pleasure, but still “Craving” the same crap they know is unhealthy for them and causing other adverse side effects in their personal lives. It’s too late though, they’re just another sucker on the vine, not listening to the latest Thomas Rhett single because they want to, but because they have to, extracting little to no true personal enjoyment, while the industry turns a blind eye to how they’re poisoning the population because of the obscene profits they’re pulling from it. (read more)
Dishonorable Mention:
Pretty Music Every Song from the Walker Hayes album Boom
And don’t you worry, most, if not all of these dogs will be taken behind the the barn and shot in due course.
David Lee Murphy and Kenny Chesney – “Everything’s Gonna Be Alright”
You might get excited to see David Lee Murphy’s name again, but this song will erase all your fond memories within the first five seconds. At first this looked like a a silly collaboration that would be quickly forgotten, but it’s climbing the charts. Rant pending.
Morgan Wallen feat. Florida Georgia Line – “Up Down”
The only thing that is more derivative and indolent than Florida Georgia Line is a bona fide Florida Georgia Line knock off. Here’s looking at you, Morgan Wallen. Rant pending.
Blake Shelton – “Money”
This son will go on to help define one of the worst atrocities of Shelton’s entire career with its stupid monotone talk singing and misogynistic lyrics. Rest assured, if “Money” is ever released as a single (or maybe even if it isn’t), it will get it’s proper rebuke.
Keith Urban – “The Fighter” (read review)
Sam Hunt – “Drinkin Too Much” (read review)
Dustin Lynch – “Small Town Boy” (read review)
Lady Antebellum – “You Look Good” (read review)
Luke Bryan – “Light It Up” (read review)
Neal McCoy – “Take A Knee My Ass” (read review)
December 11, 2017 @ 8:57 am
Wow…most of these are a bunch of “men” in their mid-30s singing songs that if were actually written from the heart, would have been wrote by middle schoolers. Although I am a big Kenny Chesney fan and thought he sounds really good on the song with David Lee Murphey. But the song does suck.
December 11, 2017 @ 9:52 am
Wow…most of these are a bunch of “men” in their mid-30s singing songs that if were actually written from the heart, would have been wrote by middle schoolers.
Yup. As I have put it before, albeit with different phrasing, all you need to know to understand exactly why all these songs suck so badly is the fact that Merle Haggard recorded Mama Tried when he was 31 years old.
December 11, 2017 @ 12:07 pm
I think this is a larger societal issue really. My 34 year old mother sat in her car outside the arena as my 14 year old sister and her friends went to a Beatles concert in the summer of 1964 because she didn’t think it was right for someone that old to attend the concert. Nowadays the parents often times share the same musical tastes with their teenage kids.
Our society has a decaying sense of maturity on many levels I’m afraid.
December 11, 2017 @ 8:37 pm
Our society has a decaying sense of maturity on many levels I’m afraid.
I have thought exactly this, for a very long time.
December 12, 2017 @ 9:55 pm
Sadly, I do think this is very true.
December 14, 2017 @ 10:29 am
When “I’ll name the dogs” was first announced, I thought it must be a joke. How could a song have such a dumb title? Then I heard it…omfg..If this is an ode to his nearly fifty year old girlfriend, how stupid does he sound singing about ‘babies’? How stupid does he think his fans are? Never mind, the answer is obvious. I’m sure it will get played at all the trailer park weddings, maybe that was the point.
December 11, 2017 @ 8:57 am
Honestly, I feel like Keith Urban’s “The Fighter” should have made the list for being the least country song ever released. It’s an abomination to the whole genre and to music in general.
December 11, 2017 @ 9:00 am
Especially when you take into consideration he is 10x more talented than these other “Artists”. The disappointment adds on to The Fighter’s awfulness.
December 11, 2017 @ 9:05 am
Maybe Keith Urban was never as “country” as some would like but you have to admit back in the day his material was good, and would beat out 100% of the crap on radio today. Ripcord as a whole, tarnished Keith’s career and is a disservice to his fans amd himself. I just want to hear a song utilizing his guitar skills again.
December 11, 2017 @ 12:23 pm
He’s a douchebag. Always has been.
December 11, 2017 @ 1:39 pm
Come on, his music may suck now but he’s probably one of the nicest dudes in country music lol.
December 11, 2017 @ 4:57 pm
The production on that song sounds so cheap. How could anybody think that sounded good?
December 11, 2017 @ 9:12 am
Holy shit Trigger…CANNON BALLLLLL! Ending 2017 with a bang…”Best Article of the Year” nominee.
December 11, 2017 @ 9:23 am
On the positive side, Canaan Smith’s “Like You That Way” was a massive failure, getting nowhere on airplay and little attention beyond the initial release. Chase Rice, although with a current single on airplay, seems to have a major dud with his new album — at least I’m not hearing or seeing hardly anything about it.
And, yes, the new DLM song with Kenny Chesney is really bad, even by Chesney’s low standards.
December 11, 2017 @ 9:24 am
I’m just relieved I’ve never heard of most of these songs…
December 11, 2017 @ 9:24 am
Not that I think I ever have much great to say, but this is one area that I have absolutely nothing to contribute because thankfully I haven’t heard any of these. I listened to a few just now from this site and they are as bad as expected. Truly disgusting though that this “music” is rewarded financially, when too many truly talented and gifted musicians & songwriters struggle to make ends meet. Seeing that Luke Bryan is worth 70 million makes me think I’m living in the wrong parallel universe.
December 11, 2017 @ 9:25 am
My vote goes to “Take a Knee My Ass”
December 11, 2017 @ 9:25 am
Nice list of shit! Lol. I don’t know any Kane Brown songs by name (since I’ve not gotten past 30 seconds of any) but one of his streaming piles would round this list out well.
December 11, 2017 @ 4:27 pm
I wondering about that – Kane B is horrible and that song is so bad
December 11, 2017 @ 9:26 am
I don’t even know where to start. All of the aforementioned songs are god awful & will NEVER be a true authentic representation of country music because NONE OF IT is country!!!!
December 11, 2017 @ 9:39 am
Take your pick. The entire spectrum of awfulness in one list.
December 11, 2017 @ 9:45 am
I think Dylan Scott wins worst of the worst
December 11, 2017 @ 9:48 am
I’ll add any FGL, Jason Aldean and Kane Brown song to this list.
December 11, 2017 @ 10:50 am
I love “Ask Any Old Barstool”…Otherwise, I’m in total agreement.
December 11, 2017 @ 12:09 pm
I’d add that song to the list too, due to the programmed beats throughout the song.
December 11, 2017 @ 10:15 am
I listen to music every day. I go to music festivals and smaller clubs and venues to hear music regularly. I can attest to the fact that you can go thru life and not listen to any of this crap. I have probably heard one or two verses of a couple of songs here. I couldn’t tell you squat about anyone on this list. Why bother. Just walk away from it and find the good stuff.
December 11, 2017 @ 11:59 am
Why bother? Because these songs and artists are the ones sucking up all the attention from your favorite artists, and creating a prohibitive environment for good music to thrive in. Bad music also makes bad people making bad decisions. Everyone deserves good music.
December 11, 2017 @ 2:11 pm
In all seriousness, I appreciate your quest to motivate others to make better and informed decisions in their musical choices. I’ve tried all my life to expose good music to my kids, grandkids and acquaintances. Family is easy because they have to listen to it in my house. With others it gets tougher. You have to lead them to it one by one and hope they can catch the fever to delve deeper on their own. I have invited many couples out to see live music with my wife and myself. With some people you can spark an interest. With others, nada. In 2017 there are many varied avenues to expose one to music. That may be part of the problem. Too many choices requires the listener that values music to invest some personal effort into the search and discovery. I’m not sure most people want too put a lot time or intellectual effort into their music world. The search, research and discovery has been part of the joy in music for me. At 65 years of age I may be getting too old to to know how to get horses to the trough, let alone get them too drink from it. I do feel that at some point, each of us is responsible for our own musical journey. All anyone else can do is help make sure that folks are exposed to the many options out there.
December 11, 2017 @ 10:18 am
I like your writing style and reviews are right on the money. It makes it hard for neo-traditional country music artists like myself to get played on the radio. Worse yet, is the upcoming generation, 20 somethings etc. will hear this crap and think its country and it will snow ball into the future with the next generation until there will be no more country music! Because the teenagers of today that like this crap have probably never heard of the pioneering country music legends.
December 11, 2017 @ 10:21 am
Imagine if professional sports worked this way. All the best athletes wasting away on AA teams for peanuts, while a bunch of unathletic morons get all the glory. Why do people allow the music “pros” to deliver such an awful product?
December 11, 2017 @ 12:26 pm
Because the vast majority of Americans have shitty taste in music. They’re irretrievably stupid.
December 25, 2017 @ 12:01 pm
Cause unfortunately “winning” in music vs sports works much differently. Winning in sports requires the best talent. Winning in music is selling lots of albums which means all it takes is a pretty face.
December 11, 2017 @ 10:28 am
I’m assuming there are a bunch of young girls that really do like Thomas Rhett, because i’ve never heard anyone say something good about him. Even my fiance who tends to like poppier country than me, doesn’t like Rhett at all.
December 11, 2017 @ 10:31 am
I love Keith urban. Get tired of the nasty comments over today’s country. If you don’t like something don’t listen. I’m not a Dolly fan but I admire her and all artist for their hard work and dedication.
December 11, 2017 @ 10:48 am
I think you might have accidentally stumbled on to this page. Taste of Country or Whiskey Riff might be more you’re thing.
December 11, 2017 @ 10:31 am
I can’t even with this list. I’ve heard none of these, save the Sam Hunt song and that’s only because it was inescapable. Since I have no intention of listening to any of the songs on your list, I can’t objectively declare the Hunt song to be worse than any of the others listed but i will offer 2 suggestions for Worst Country Album of the Year.
1) Wheeler Bryson – Wheeler (Music From The Motion Picture)
and
2) Danny Worsnop – The Long Road Home
Avoid these 2 at all costs.
December 11, 2017 @ 10:32 am
I am 60 years old a woman and I love every one of these songs
December 11, 2017 @ 10:59 am
This comment made me sad.
December 11, 2017 @ 3:22 pm
The saddest thought is the fact that there are a whole lot of people that can totally identify with that comment.
December 11, 2017 @ 4:13 pm
I know. But at 60 … she’s probably pretty stuck in her ways and isn’t open to listening to Tyler Childers.
I tear up thinking of her making jello salad (that none of her grandchildren will eat) and humming along to some Sam Hunt on the radio.
December 11, 2017 @ 6:04 pm
I’m damn near 62, don’t have any grandkids, hate effen jello, and I listen to Cody Jinks, Whitey Morgan Jamey Johnson, Jason Boland, Wade Bowen, Randy Rogers band and the occasional Sturgill Simpson and Jason Isbell. Just because some of us are in our 60’s we don’t all listen to crappy music.
December 11, 2017 @ 6:56 pm
P.S. I recently discovered Tyler Childers! Forgot to mention Turnpike Troubadours too! But, I am possibly just a little stuck in my ways, because I’m old.
December 14, 2017 @ 8:14 am
Think I love you, Debbie…
December 15, 2017 @ 5:10 pm
Thank you Scott, that makes this old heart go pit er pater
December 11, 2017 @ 11:00 am
Do you also like jello salad?
December 11, 2017 @ 11:38 am
How about jello shots?
December 11, 2017 @ 3:32 pm
This little comment thread here was the best part of this article for me. 🙂
December 11, 2017 @ 12:42 pm
Do you also like music?
December 11, 2017 @ 10:35 am
My picks for the worst songs of 2017:
10. The Fighter, Keith Urban and Carrie Underwood – I am a fan of Carrie’s, and have never really minded Keith. That being said, they are both so much better than this.
9. Wacky Tobaccy, Toby Keith – Sorry Toby, but you are not cool at all. This is his worst song yet.
8. Hooked, Dylan Scott – Go away, Dylan Scott.
7. What Ifs, Kane Brown and Lauren Alaina – I am a fan of Lauren’s, and I found her album to be one of the most enjoyable of the year. As for Kane, he absolutely sucks and is devoid of any shred of talent whatsoever. The song sounds like it was written by a second-grader, and as for the production, it sounds like it was recorded in a trash can.
6. Singles You Up, Jordan Davis – This reminds me of Break Up With Him. I hate Break Up With Him.
5. I’d Be Jealous Too, Dustin Lynch – This song is extremely misogynistic, immature, and nothing short of embarrassing. Remember Cowboys and Angels? That was a fantastic song. I wonder if we’ll ever get such an amazing song from Dustin again. Probably not.
4. God, Your Mama, and Me, FGL and Backstreet Boys – Yes, it’s the doofuses of FGL and a senile, washed-up boy band singing a song cheesier than a mozzarella and cheddar sandwich topped with cheese whiz. Of course it’s gonna suck.
3. Love Again, Todd O’Neill – I’m super shocked that Trigger didn’t include this due to the sheer awfulness of the thing. Thank God it flopped majorly, and we haven’t heard from Todd O’Neill since.
2. You Broke Up With Me, Walker Hayes – You may have liked Pants or Why Wait for Summer, and you may be excited to see that Walker Hayes has returned. That will only last for two seconds, as all of your fond memories of Walker will be erased within the first note of the song. Horrific doesn’t even begin to cover it. The song is a clunky, chaotic mess, and it sounds like a two-year-old wrote it. In terms of quality, it’s actually the worst, but in terms of impact, it sits at number two. How shameful, Walker.
1. Body Like a Back Road, Sam Hunt – You really outdid yourself this time, Sam. This piece of shit song is one of the worst pieces of music I’ve heard in my lifetime. As a twenty-one year old woman with a curvaceous hourglass figure, I’m flat-out embarrassed that Sam would ever compare any woman’s body to a dirty, bumpy, nasty back road full of pot holes and deer shit. And I thought Sam couldn’t sink lower than Break Up in a Small Town From 2015. Well, congratulations, Sam. It took you two years, but you did it.
December 11, 2017 @ 11:38 am
Yep, ‘Body Like A Back Road’ has to be the winner because of the impact it had on the overall direction of mainstream country alone. It may not technically be the worst but the other factors lift it to the top…er, bottom of the list.
December 11, 2017 @ 3:35 pm
I just have to say- I honest to God though Singles You Up was a made up thing that people here said to represent just a generic horrible fake country song. But I work with people who love Thomas Rhett and all that crap, and low and behold, they were playing it the other day. (three or four times, sadly.) I can’t believe it’s a real song!
December 12, 2017 @ 11:07 pm
Speaking of recorded in a trash can…Shania Twain’s “Life’s About to Get Good” should be dishonorably mentioned as well…lackluster writing, terrible vocals, all smothered by well, being recorded in a fucking trash can. Most overproduced thing I’ve ever heard, and that pretty much goes for her entire album as well.
December 16, 2017 @ 10:11 pm
I was disappointed with Shania’s cd too. My opionion this cd is a flop and 12 and or 16 singles were bad too..
December 16, 2017 @ 10:17 pm
I meat for Shania Now has 12 songs and deluxe version has 16 songs on it.
December 11, 2017 @ 10:45 am
How about “Meant to be” with Bebe Rexha and Florida Georgia Line on the country charts, and I agree with you Trigger I don’t really like any of the songs on the list. I agree with you and Amanda’s list too. Awful songs.
December 11, 2017 @ 10:47 am
What about “All the Pretty Girls”…I heard it ONCE, abd that was way too many times! I don’t want to hear a nearly 50-yr old man sing about teenagers wanting to get laid! Actually, I don’t want to hear anyone sing about getting laid! That song didn’t do him any favors with me, as a longtime fan, but then I gave him some songs, after I was lucky enough to be able to chat with him for a bit…Needless to say, after talking about how “beautiful”, and “amazing” they were, he pretty much disappeared. I told him off, he added me to his friend requests, then did it again. Apparently, he finds it funny, when a career-long fan decides she wants nothing more to do with him, and now loathes the ground he walks on. No worries…if you ever hear “Why Do I Have to Miss You”, know I wrote it, along with “What Do I Gotta Do (To Make You Love Me)”, or “Phoenix (Angel in Disguise)”…know I wrote them! The other two were “Bad Girl at Heart”, and “This Old House”… I told him to take my name off of them, and live up to his logo, because I had already given him the songs and rights for his “charity”…he said thank you, and promptly disappeared. No longer want my name associated with him, but it is, what it is. BTW: have you seen the video of him kissing the girl on stage with DS? He kissed her, left her stunned, then laughed at her, along with the audience. He just about fell over laughing hysterically at the poor girl! I guess some would say I overreacted about it, but if someone kissed my son that way, and then left him standing there looking stupid, I would be livid!
December 11, 2017 @ 10:48 am
I can’t sit thru all these but I haven’t escaped the back alley abortion/school bus fire that is You Broke Up With Me since it’s all over the radio, so I’ll go with that one. Don’t think Waylon done it that way and if he was here, he’d say hoss, neither did Hank.
Second place goes to Dylan Scott for the single fact that I’m pretty sure the line is “I lud it when she raps to an Eminem song”. Under no circumstances should a grown man ever utter the words “lud it”.
December 11, 2017 @ 1:01 pm
Under no circumstances should anyone listen to an Eminem song.
December 11, 2017 @ 10:50 am
What’s funny is that some of these are number one songs on the country chart…
December 11, 2017 @ 2:40 pm
By “funny” did you mean “sad?”
December 11, 2017 @ 7:01 pm
Absolutely that’s what I leant
December 11, 2017 @ 10:57 am
Is FGL even a standalone act anymore? It seems that lately all they do is tag along as featured “artists” on other “artists'” singles.
December 11, 2017 @ 11:43 am
That, and what they do by either being on those other artists’ records or allowing other artists to be on THEIRS is wrecking whatever credibility those artists either wanted to get or had before.
December 11, 2017 @ 12:25 pm
It’s because they know they’re at the tail end of their career arc, so they’re trying to leech on the relevancy of others to stay alive as long as they can.
December 11, 2017 @ 1:28 pm
Can’t they just go away already?
December 11, 2017 @ 12:00 pm
Milking every last penny out of their run I guess.
December 11, 2017 @ 10:57 am
Another terrific read !! Keep ’em coming Trigger
December 11, 2017 @ 11:12 am
Gettin laid
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=agmXzGnR3LA
December 11, 2017 @ 11:31 am
Tough competition
December 11, 2017 @ 11:35 am
Throw in some hipster/americana bands in there for good measure.
December 11, 2017 @ 11:49 am
Looks like every country radio playlist…
December 11, 2017 @ 12:32 pm
Surprised “Wacky Tobacky” didn’t make it on the list. It’s been sad to see the guy who once gave us “Should’ve Been a Cowboy” completely plummet into oblivion over the past six years.
December 11, 2017 @ 3:36 pm
Agreed; I think a straight cover of the NRBQ song would’ve been a helluva lot better than whatever that thing was. :p
December 11, 2017 @ 12:34 pm
And my winner is: “Up Down” by Morgan Wallen & FGL.
Shitty bro-blabla. The lowest of the low. The video wins worst video of the year…i hope i will never see the sweaty hairy armpits of the three stooges again.
Runner-Up: Bebe Rexha feat. FGL with “Meant To Be”
It’s only the tip of the iceberg. The majority of “country” releases is not much better.
December 11, 2017 @ 2:02 pm
I should be thankful I haven’t heard Up Down. That’s why it’s not on my list.
December 11, 2017 @ 1:33 pm
Not only is What If the worst song of this year. To me, it’s the worst No. 1 song in the history of Country Music. It reminds me of when you’re at a relatives and your aunt says her son and daughter have a song to perform and you have to sit through it. It’s that bad. The voices, the lyrics, the production, it’s all bad.
At least a lot of the songs on this list have professional production. We might hate the producers, but they can at least produce a song.
It’s so painful.
Up Down is bad, too.
Also, I just don’t hate “Fix a Drink” as much as other people. Is it great, no, but I don’t cringe or quickly reach for the dial when I hear it. It’s just a song about a bartender. Unlike a lot of songs on this list, I feel like that song would have been a hit in other eras, not just the current one.
December 11, 2017 @ 2:17 pm
“Fix a Drink” is awful due to the fact that Chris Janson is rapping/singing on the song, which ruins the song. Second, it’s so damn simple lyrically and musically that even a 2nd tier high school band could perform it better than he does. And lastly: Chris has spoken out about his hard won sobriety but yet he releases a song like this? Not only does this song reek of Canadian goose shit, it also makes him a flaming hypocrite.
Country Songs used to be about real life. Artists like Chris Stapleton and Sturgill Simpson get it but the rest of Music Row doesn’t. And at the rate that they’re going, I strongly doubt that they ever will.
December 11, 2017 @ 2:19 pm
This is the most disgusting piece of nothing I’ve ever read. I have no idea why this garbage came up in my newsfeed because this person is clearly not a writer but some redneck beer swigging jerk with a maybe a 10th grade education. That’s stretching it.
December 11, 2017 @ 3:31 pm
Then why did you take the time to respond then, my dear? If you don’t like what you see, then leave. Don’t let the door hit your nonexistent ass on the way out.
December 12, 2017 @ 4:24 am
Because these songs are so sophisticated and pendantic?
December 11, 2017 @ 2:21 pm
Great choices of horrible songs. If not for the internet, I’d all but give up on new country and just play my old CDs and cassettes. I really wish the red dirt scene would play on major markets. Some country fans have never heard of such good, and still traditional sounding, music.
I’ve actually found myself getting back into rock/metal music when I have no choice but FM radio. Good too hear some new rock groups that play their chosen platform(plug for Sons of Texas here. They’re awesome).
As far a country I will listen to Texas Red Dirt and throw in some 90s country for memories. Thanks for this website. The artists that are “gunned up” are always worth checking out.
December 11, 2017 @ 2:52 pm
“Take A Knee My Ass” gets my vote. Normally I would say “Body Like A Backroad”, but McCoy “wins” the honor for doing a terrible job of pandering to a segment of the Country audience and providing more ammo to people who think all Country fans/artists are dumb, simplistic morons.
Neal, I get your life is depressing now (living/performing in Branson will do that to ya), but if this is the best idea you had at making a “comeback”, well, you should have stayed on the path to ever-increasing irrelevancy.
December 11, 2017 @ 2:55 pm
My comment is please keep country music alive ,because all of those legends who past away will wanted the music to continued and to encourage the new young artist who wanted to come in the business of opportunity. This is my comment by Pauline Rolle.
January 12, 2018 @ 6:29 pm
Blessings for country music .I always love country music from I was a young teenager growing up.From pinders point,Grand Bahama.(2nd capital in the Bahamas. Now residening in Nassau,Bahamas. On this 12,January’ 2018.
December 11, 2017 @ 3:09 pm
The main problem that I have with the music industry as whole (and ESPECIALLY country music) is that everyone is looking to make smash hits and singles. It’s all about chart success with Music Row nowadays. I don’t know who Chase Bryant, Chase Rice, Canaan Smith or Cole Swindell are because they’re all interchangeable and expendable. Trying to create smash hits comes at the expense of making great quality music that stands the test of time. Most of the current crop of country artists have no identity, rely on shitty songwriters (I’m looking at you, Dallas Davidson and Josh Osborne!) & the production is god awful. What happened to making music because you have an intense love and passion for it? Or honing your craft and making a solid consistent album time after time?
December 11, 2017 @ 4:01 pm
The Carter Family and Jimmie Rodgers responded to Ralph Peer’s ads in order to make money during hard times in a depressed part of the country. They hustled all they could in order to make money off of their music, and did so without shame. This music that came out of Bristol Tn. is 90 years old and is still considered, if not the, one of the most important events in the history of country music. Most of the country stars of the 30’s, 40’s 50’s, who we consider the founders and cornerstones of country music, grew up poor, or at best working class, and in rural areas. They wanted hits and to make as much money as they could from their craft. It seems to me that the artists then had a connection to their audience that was rooted in common backgrounds and experiences. They wrote and performed music that spoke the thoughts and emotions of their audience which tended to be poorer and mostly rural. This shared background, allowed artists to write music that connected on a visceral level with their audience. No, writing hits, and selling a lot of product to make money has always been a motivating factor in the music business. The problem is deeper than that. In this day and age where everything becomes obsolete and disposable at an ever increasing rate, maybe music has just become another reflection of this mentality of use up and discard before the next shiny object presents itself.
December 11, 2017 @ 4:12 pm
“It seems to me that the artists then had a connection to their audience that was rooted in common backgrounds and experiences. They wrote and performed music that spoke the thoughts and emotions of their audience which tended to be poorer and mostly rural. This shared background, allowed artists to write music that connected on a visceral level with their audience.”
Bill, that’s exactly my point and thank you Sir. The greed for money has overtaken the need to make great timeless music.
December 11, 2017 @ 4:47 pm
Troy, i’m not sure they conscientiously thought about making timeless music. I think they had a good sense of self and a good sense of their audience. Their shared truth of their common realities of life is what I feel gave birth to the timelessness of their music. My gut says the modern Country star doesn’t have any sense of who he/she is when it comes to the music component of their lives. I’m not sure they know who their audience is. I’m not sure their audience even knows who they themselves are. If nobody in this musical equation seems grounded in sense of self, and have conviction of their music to be able to speak a shared “truth”, how can you come up with music that will last? Hey, what do I know about anything?
December 11, 2017 @ 4:55 pm
To be honest Bill: you know a LOT more than the majority of today’s country artists. You and I have a strong sense of self. I think it’s a combination of that, letting the producers/Music Row dictate what material they should write and/or record and pandering to radio programmers who try to shove this wannabe country crap down our throats. Thank God for folks like Trigger who search for real country music that has depth and substance to it. And for folks like you who have a love and passion for authentic country music.
December 11, 2017 @ 3:13 pm
Here is my list (note in order to make my list you need to peak in 2017, so Walker Hayes and Jordan Davis you’re off the hook for now)
Luke Bryan Light It Up
Chase Bryant Room To Breathe
Dustin Lynch Small Town Boy
Dustin Lynch Seein Red
Kelsea Ballerini Yeah Boy
Shania Twain Life’s About To Get Good
Sam Hunt Body Like A Backroad
Michael Ray Think A Little Less
Little Big Town Happy People
Dylan Scott My Girl
December 11, 2017 @ 3:27 pm
Here’s my list:
Sam Hunt – Body Like a Back Road
Kelsea Ballerini – Peter Pan
Little Big Town – Better Man
Carrie Underwood – Dirty Laundry (love the lyrics, but the production is awful and it overshadows her voice)
Chris Janson – Fix a Drink
Thomas Rhett – Craving You
FGL – any song from Dig Your Roots
Brantley Gilbert – The Weekend
Blake Shelton – I’ll Name The Dogs
Luke Bryan – Light It Up
Dishonorable Mention: any damn song from Jason Aldean’s “They Don’t Know” album since the whole album is ear cancer at best.
December 11, 2017 @ 7:06 pm
Again most of these were are are number ones on country radio. That should tell you the ridiculousness in this industry
December 11, 2017 @ 3:42 pm
I think “The Fighter” might be the only one of those I’ve heard (on some awards show or something).
Dishonorable mention for Shania Twain’s “Life’s About to Get Good” — there might’ve been a fun song in hiding there, but the production on it… o_O
December 11, 2017 @ 4:41 pm
Yet another reminder of how dumbed-down modern folks’ music tastes are. “Ouch, I actually had to think about the lyrics in that song. Never gonna listen to another Americana or classic rock song again!”
The glaring fact is that the label owners in Japan and Los Angeles don’t care about the art form. $$ is $$.
It never ceases to amaze me that people actually buy into it though.
Rant over. Thanks to the internet we have access to all the independent stuff now.
December 11, 2017 @ 4:48 pm
That song by David Lee Murphy and Kenny Chesney is a huge disappointment. It might as well have been a new solo Kenny song, since it’s as bad (and non country) as most of his other recent stuff. I think I’ll stick to DLM’s 90’s albums.
I pretty much agree with this list, though there are a few of these I’ve been fortunate enough not to have heard, and I think I’ll keep it that way. “Body Like A Backroad,” “You Broke Up With Me,” “Fix A Drink,” and “My Girl” are by far the biggest offenders here for me. Like others mentioned “Body Like A Backroad” is probably the worst of all, due to its huge commercial success and the influence it’s had and still could have on the direction of mainstream country.
Others that make my personal list:
The Weekend – Brantley Gilbert
Seein’ Red – Dustin Lynch
Yeah Boy – Kelsea Ballerini
All The Pretty Girls – Kenny Chesney
For Her – Chris Lane
Black – Dierks Bentley
Think A Little Less – Michael Ray
Dirt On My Boots – Jon Pardi (Pains me to put Jon Pardi on here, but I just don’t like this song at all.)
Unforgettable – Thomas Rhett
When It Rains It Pours – Luke Combs
I’ll Name The Dogs – Blake Shelton
Anything by Florida Georgia Line, Kane Brown, and Old Dominion
December 11, 2017 @ 4:50 pm
Trig, I think you went too easy on these songs.
December 11, 2017 @ 5:02 pm
Would love to know what makes this no talent ass clown that wrote this article know a fucking thing about music or is he just another douchebag keyboard Warrior live in mom’s basement who has no fucking clue about evolution of music and is too afraid man up and tell people what he likes. This whole article is just tear down hate!!
December 11, 2017 @ 5:08 pm
I think that may be the longest sentence I’ve ever read. Punctuation is your friend…
December 11, 2017 @ 10:08 pm
That might also help him/her not forget some key words, thus making their point even more incoherent. But then again, he/she likes those songs, which is in itself almost impossible to champion in any convincing way.
December 11, 2017 @ 5:36 pm
Then why are you here dude? If you don’t like the article, then leave. No one is forcing you to read what he wrote. Plus: it’s a fact of life that people are going to say and do things that you don’t necessarily agree with. So agree to disagree and move on. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.
December 11, 2017 @ 11:04 pm
Though I dislike the songs on the ‘worst songs’ list, feel very sad at the state of mainstream country music and adore this website, AND am really exhausted while reading this article, I’ll throw in a perhaps unnecessary comment in a vague reply to yours
You said, “If you don’t like the article, then leave. No one is forcing you to read what he wrote.” Yet ‘mainstream country’ can say to many followers of this website; ‘If you don’t like what’s being played on country radio, then leave. No one is forcing you to listen.”
So I guess the ‘trashers’ of the article (though I don’t agree with much of what they’re saying) have as much right to voice their disagreement with it and defend the songs & musicians they like as we have to listen to mainstream country so that we can join here to disagree with the songs & musicians we don`t. Maybe a few readers are annoyed that this online article stifles the kind of online journalism they`d rather read, just as we`re annoyed that these so called country songs stifle the kind of country radio we`d rather hear.
Saying to someone, essentially, “If you don`t like it, don`t read it“`is identical to the rational of others who believe that if someone disagrees with the kind of music being played on country radio, then it`s simple-don`t listen. Of course I don`t agree with that rational-I think that the stifling of so many talented, substantial country artists is sad, disrespectful to the genre, and very much worth commenting on. It matters when something is being promoted to the masses as country when it isn`t. It matters that so many country artists who deserve that promotion & support on country radio aren`t getting it.
Anyway….let`s see if I can arrive at a point. Maybe I don`t have one, except that people should spend less time bashing what they dislike, and more time promoting what they love (oh, how trite). Those trashing this article & the author would do better to go comment & share an article that promotes their thoughts & opinions in a positive way. This website does a great job of that-promoting what it loves-true & pure country music and artists. Sure there are articles such as this, meant to be fun to read, but anyone who follows this website knows that the main mission, obviously, is to simply promote pure, `underpromoted` country music.
My vague, foggy minded comment has, I suppose, gone from what I saw as a somewhat ironic ìf you don`t like it, don`t read it`-esque comment and somehow turned into a praise for this website and all of the articles, commentary, reviews and promoting it does for country music.
What did I just writeÉ….why is the question mark a capital eÉÉÉ Ugh….Good night.
December 12, 2017 @ 12:59 am
I checked, and this article received more hits in 38 minutes than my Song of the Year Nominees article has in 5 days. People love to say they don’t want to see negative stuff, yet the come here in droves to read it anyway, completely ignore the positive stuff, and then navigate to the comments section to complain that they don’t want to see anything negative. And somehow I’m the one being criticized for making bad choices. Actions speak louder than words.
Also, some folks are stupefied why so many pop country fans are commenting here, defending their favorite artists. You know how they showed up here? Because this article was being read and shared so many times, it shot into people’s social media feeds, Google searches, etc., and here they are, even if they don’t want to be. Some of these people are appalled. But some will be enlightened to the fact that there is an entire world of like-minded individuals who are wondering what the hell happened to country music too, and there are better alternatives to be had. That has happened multiple times today because of this article. And I know it because I’ve receive emails saying as much.
The idea that negative coverage somehow comes at ignoring the positive stuff is a complete myth. It’s the negative stuff that creates the attention. It’s the positive stuff that’s being ignored, even though it has been, and will always be the primary focus of Saving Country Music.
December 12, 2017 @ 3:09 pm
Like I previously stated: everyone is entitled to their own opinions. Trigger isn’t shoving this article down anyone’s throat. The folks who disagree with what he said came here of their own free will. No one MADE them read it. They CHOSE to read it. People can listen to whatever they want. I honestly don’t care. But I do agree with a LOT of what you said Miss Kay. Im glad that Trigger points out the awful music so we can avoid it altogether and shines a light on real country music and artists who deserve a chance to be heard.
December 11, 2017 @ 5:41 pm
Very interested to hear the clues you have garnered about the evolution of music.
December 11, 2017 @ 10:43 pm
“… is too afraid [to] man up and tell people what he likes”
Did you read the same article I did?
I mean, your main premise is complete bullshit too, but I just had to laugh at the above quote. Thanks for brightening my day, at least.
December 11, 2017 @ 5:28 pm
U PEOPLE R JUST a bunch of ASSHOLES.I love old country music but I also like a good bit of todays music do I like EVERY song by every artist yoday Nzo but I also DON’T like EVERY old SCHOOL country song.Just BECAUSE I love Conway DOESN’T mean everyone does.And just because U DON’T LIKE Luke Bryan or Jason aldean DOESN’T mean I along with OTHER PEOPLE DON’T ENJOY their music. FYI I LOVE BON JOVI SO SHOOT ME
December 11, 2017 @ 5:38 pm
How about letting go of the Caps Lock key first? Everything doesn’t need to be capitalized. Secondly, the man who wrote this article is entitled to his own opinions, just like you. So get over it and move on. Agree to disagree. And FYI I can’t stand Bon Jovi. Haha!
December 11, 2017 @ 6:57 pm
bang
December 11, 2017 @ 7:27 pm
Shot through the heart, and you’re to blame
December 13, 2017 @ 5:48 am
I don’t know if someone wrote this a a joke post a la Lil Dale, or if this is yet another Taste of Country/Whiskey Riff Warrior. Either way, the post was dumb.
December 14, 2017 @ 8:53 am
Lil Dale’s post would have been a lot funnier.
December 11, 2017 @ 5:29 pm
Pretty Good List. All are awful songs. Here’s my 10 worst (and it was difficult to pick since there’s so many awful ones):
10: Back in the Game – Parmalee
This song is way too generic and not one bit country. Rings bro-country and is way too repetitive in its sound.
9: Outta Style – Aaron Watson
I’m sorry, but whenever I hear this song, it pisses me off. It’s all fine until he says, “Never goin out of style in my Chevy…” The chorus is horrible. He’s pandering big time. Sounds like they took a check list of bro-country stuff and x-ed of everything.
8: Anything by Mitchell Tenpenny
This dude flat out sucks. He has a great voice but can’t write a freaking song. His releases this year include: “Bitches,” “Truck I Drove in High School,” and “Alcohol You Later.” Cringey music with unnecessary cussing that has absolutely no place in country music.
7: Ring On Every Finger – LoCash
These dudes can’t make a good song no matter how hard they try. I hate this one. Too much autotune and it’s not even close to country. I’d rather listen to nails on a chalkboard.
6: Hopin You Were Lookin – Rascal Flatts
Looks like they’re not done releasing shitty songs! This one is garbage. All you can picture listening to this is Gary LeVox trying to be all hip and hit on a teenage girl while swerving through traffic like an idiot trying to stalk and track her down.
5: Body Like a Backroad – Sam Hunt
Even though this isn’t my least favorite, it’s definitely what started the bullshit. Such a misogynist song it makes even Trump and Weinstein look like saints. Sam Hunt can take it and shove it since he ruined music for potentially the next few years.
4: One Girl – Chris Lane
This is an even more misogynistic song than Sam Hunt’s effort. Though he’s saying all he needs is one girl, Lane goes on to degrade the woman so much that she probably wants to kick him in the nuts for every time he utters “girl” in this song. It had me having Bro flashbacks, and I didn’t appreciate it.
3: You Broke Up With Me – Walker Hayes
The intro to this song sounds like a lame ass kids show that kids shouldn’t even be subjected to. We have a 30-something year-old man singing a song fit for Nickelodeon. The fact that he wears a tight v-neck and skinny jeans pushed this song up 3 spots.
2: Losing Sleep – Chris Young
I was tempted to put this number one since Chris Young is a *cough-cough* FUCKING SELLOUT but this song is only my second most hated. I change the station before this thing comes on the radio because I can just feel the creepy, perverted tone of his voice from another time zone saying,”Light a candle,” before the song even starts.
1: I’d Be Jealous Too – Dustin Lynch
Yep. This song is the worst of the year for me. Probably the worst I’ve ever heard as well. How the F*CK do you go from Cowboys and Angels to this mess?? It’s like the record label forced Justin Bieber to wear his jeans 3 sizes too small, put on a cowboy hat, make perverted hand movements on stage, sing in obnoxious auto tuned baritone, and call himself COUNTRY (except Justin Bieber is actually decent.) All that is beside the fact that this is a straight up pop song.
December 11, 2017 @ 7:07 pm
Wow. I forgot about Ring On Every Finger. So bad. And radio played it way too much.
December 11, 2017 @ 7:15 pm
Ya it was bad. And the fact that it stayed on the charts for over a year made it even worse. Just happy it didn’t make the top 10
December 11, 2017 @ 5:29 pm
I take comfort knowing I haven’t listened to any of these songs.
Knowingly, at least.
I haven’t even listened to DAC’s collaboration because the band he sang with looked like someone I wouldn’t like.
DAC ceased to exist for me several years ago.
And he is my favorite singer ever.
Good article, as always.
Trig listens to the garbage so I don’t have to.
December 11, 2017 @ 6:19 pm
Small Two Boy to me is the worst because they want to pass Dustin Lynch as some sort of neo-traditional country act, with cowboy hat and all.
Fuck him and fuck that song
The Fighter is an embarassment both for Keith and Carrie, I still can’t believe they thought it was a good idea to even record it, let alone release it to radio.
December 11, 2017 @ 7:47 pm
The closest Dustin ever came close to being a neo-traditionalist was with his debut single, “Cowboys And Angels.” Everything he’s released after that has pretty much been one disappointment after another. And yes, “Small Town Boy” is awful and one of his worst, yet. Just more proof that Bro-Country is still not dead. I’ve heard his latest album is pretty bad, too, though I haven’t dared to check it out yet, lol.
December 11, 2017 @ 6:26 pm
First time I heard it, I thought “why is a top 40 pop song being played on country radio?” Then I realized who was singing it and it unfortunately made sense. It’s Music Row/The Powers That Be/idiotic radio programmers should shlep this crap to the masses and they eat it right up without even asking questions. Sigh…..
December 11, 2017 @ 6:44 pm
Aaron Watson has the worst fucking song of the year. One cliché after another. Probably written on the shitter right before a show. I hope that bitch isn’t related to Gene.
December 11, 2017 @ 6:45 pm
The first thing that hit me when I heard “Fix A Drink” was whether the guys from Genesis get partial writing credit, since the hook of the song is practically the same as “Throwing It All Away” from like 30 years ago o.O
December 11, 2017 @ 7:19 pm
How about sounding similar to that Dierks Bentley song as well? Somewhere on a beach I think. I prefer Outlaw’s version of Fix A Drink by a lot
December 11, 2017 @ 8:19 pm
Yup, the chorus of “Fix a Drink” is almost identical melodically to “Somewhere On A Beach”.
December 11, 2017 @ 6:53 pm
To my knowledge I have not heard any of these songs. Just avoid music you don’t like, it is incredibly easy to do. No sympathy for those that listen to music they think is shitty.
December 11, 2017 @ 7:50 pm
Honestly, I’m starting to think you’re just jealous of these guys. They have made it this far because they are talented and hot. There is nothing wrong with using your sexuality to get ahead. So what if they like to sing about porking some young thang? It gives people something to fantasize about. Not everybody wants to listen to needlessly gloomy, depressing music like Jason Isbell. He might be more talented, but isn’t nearly as entertaining or engaging to listen/watch. People want to have fun, not be lectured to. I don’t like all the songs on this list, but many of them are perfectly fine.
December 11, 2017 @ 7:57 pm
You are 1 billion % correct on all your assessments!!!
December 11, 2017 @ 8:22 pm
“Yeah Boy” was the one that really got on my last nerve this year. Not just for repeating the title half a million times either.
December 11, 2017 @ 9:08 pm
I vote all of the above. The problem with these songs is that they were written by boys who never grew up to become men. Boys who don’t know how to treat a lady, boys that don’t know a damn thing about life, boys that don’t want to grow up to be men but want to stay stagnant in their own little world of dirt roads and tailgates. That right there folks is your problem in a nutshell.
December 11, 2017 @ 10:48 pm
Trig, what happened to “Meant to Be”?
Was it not eligible for your list? Because it’s a reservoir of radioactive shit. Both in itself and for what it means for music and radio.
December 12, 2017 @ 12:50 am
I might do a review of that song, but honestly, taking into consideration the rest of the field, it doesn’t belong here. Yes, it’s pure pop, but as a song, it’s benign compared to the atrocities highlighted here.
December 13, 2017 @ 2:34 pm
I wouldn’t be surprised if you ranted about it. Ive never heard the song and i dont plan on listening to it.
December 11, 2017 @ 11:43 pm
Just stick to Trigger’s excellent playlist on Spotify (and most other songs by those artists). I’m so busy with those artists that I don’t have time or interest in subjecting myself to “country” radio.
Although I did think Urban’s “The Fighter” was kinda catchy as a pop song.
December 12, 2017 @ 1:52 am
OK. The reason I read your stuff is to avoid listening to dreck like this. But at this time of year I always check out this list and taste the atrocities just so I can say I tried it. To give myself a leg to stand on when I rail against it later. And lord fuck almighty Pete’s christ that David Allen Coe piece is a fuckin’ wast of ear space.
Now, I HATE Body Like A Back Road for SO man y reasons that song title is just shit and disgusting for starters. So is he saying this person is somebody you want to drive or ride over in a 4 wheel Bronco or something? And “back road” does not sound like a compliment it just reminds of 40 Miles Of Bad Road by Duane Eddy. And speaking of roads, “Ease On Down The Road” is more country than that shit.
All that said, David Allen Coe still wins because it is just a clusterfuck and asstwats making fucking piece of turd with sound added and then probably high-fiving (or chest bumping) because -heh heh- we sang shove it…. hehe heh with David Allen Coe brah. Suh-weet!
Fucking A I hope Johnny Paycheck gets a refund.
The other apocalyptic monstrosities here are of course the musical equivalent of surströmming but with none of the nutritional value and should illegal to play indoors or within earshot of children but those to song win for me. Just absolute garbage.
And thank you for bringing them to my attention. I now must cleanse my ears with Sunny Sweeney or seeing as how it is holiday season Perry Como.
December 12, 2017 @ 6:23 am
Managed to avoid almost all of these, so, ‘Yay me!’
And . . .
. . . ‘pink stuffed elephant they just won at the meth carnival for beating off a donkey’. . .???
Without even hearing it I know that donkey orgasm sounds would be like music to my ears compared to this shit.
Thanks for listening, Trigger!! Your sacrifice is appreciated.
December 12, 2017 @ 6:51 am
I’m so glad I don’t listen to country music radio. I’ve never heard any of these songs and they all “sound” terrible – as described.
December 12, 2017 @ 8:01 am
99.9% of todays “country” ain’t country, so I vote for them all
December 12, 2017 @ 8:19 am
I think Body Like a Backroad just because of the way it forever ruined the country music charts.
My Girl is kind of catchy. Not country but no too offensive.
Fix a Drink is a bad but Chris Janson has some good music so I will give him a pass.
I never thought Las Day Alive was considered a country song.
Like You That Way is so generic and forgettable.
You Broke Up With Me may be the worst song on the list but it just didn’t have the impact Body Like a Backroad did.
Take this Job and Shove It Remix is a joke just like David Allan Coe has become. If this wins I wouldn’t disagree.
Craving You is much better than a lot of Thomas Rhett’s songs.
I will comment on a couple of the dishonorable mentions.
First of all I am going to give David Lee Murphy a pass. It is great to hear him doing music again. All four of his albums are great. His song Pirates Cove is still one of my all time favorite country songs. Everything’s Gonna Be Alright is not his best but its still David Lee Murphy and hopefully his album will be more of the David Lee music we love.
I also have to say if we were doing an award for best pop song The Fighter would get my vote. It is such a catchy song. Unfortunately it has no business being marketed as a country song.
December 12, 2017 @ 7:43 pm
All of these songs – so relentlessly shallow and superficial.
Is there a big book of clichés somewhere in the offices of downtown Nashville record companies?
The best songs (those with lasting memorability) have unique symbolism and imagery.
The Eagles and Flying Burritos (supposedly not country bands, per se) did it better than this list of crap.
December 13, 2017 @ 8:35 am
Worst of these is Body Like a Backroad – the one I’m forced to hear the most along with my nauseating daily diet of Imagine Dragons, 21 Pilots and Ed Sheeran. I can recognize Luke Bryan’s awful voice, otherwise I can’t tell one of these tracks or voices or hairstyles from the next.
December 13, 2017 @ 10:29 am
I know this might be a very unpopular comment on this site (and its from a 2016 album) but I think Miranda Lambert s Tin Man is the worst song of 2017. It was released as a single in 2017. And how did it ever get nominated for a Grammy? First of all Kenny Chesney s Tin Man song was first and better than ML s song. Of course I am not a fan of anything overrated Miranda does but that song is really bad. Just my 2 cents.
December 14, 2017 @ 9:38 am
Yes, to all this. I heard Body Like a Back Road at a recent trip to the dentists office and that was the worst thing about my visit. Even the dentist was complaining. Also, can we add “Female” by Keith Urban also. Wow, those lyrics.
December 20, 2017 @ 10:44 am
I just found this site today and I ADORE it! I listen to KYGO (Denver, CO) in the mornings only because the enjoy the 3 hosts. I have to switch to another station when the “music” comes back on, especially that Body like a Back road tripe!
December 22, 2017 @ 10:34 am
David Lee Murphy and Kenny Chesney – “Everything’s Gonna Be Alright”
There are no real musical instruments in this, are there? It’s all Macbook, isn’t it? There *may* be a guitar or two towards the end, but I’m not sure these days.
December 22, 2017 @ 11:29 pm
I’m surprised Shania Twain’s “Life’s About to Get Good” didn’t make the list. The producers got way too crazy with the ProTools and Auto-Tune on that one, LOL.
December 28, 2017 @ 8:27 am
I would add Easton Corbin’s “A Girl Like You” to the list. It’s so embarrassing how his once stellar country career took a turn for the worst. I wish someone would create a mashup of “A Girl Like You” with the Scissor Sisters’ “I Don’t Fee Like Dancing” just to show what an embarrassment Corbin has become.
March 15, 2018 @ 10:25 am
If you want to swim around in the shallow end of the gene pool, listen to Morgan Wallen’s “Up Down” D.U.M.B.
May 15, 2018 @ 12:01 pm
Am a lover for country music .Because i grow up listening to it ,from in the 1980s. Basically all my life.So i love supporting country music.